tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20039899141511659482024-02-02T02:17:40.718-08:00Christy's Life JournalChristina Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11812903022397709758noreply@blogger.comBlogger103125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2003989914151165948.post-31947398986005066792015-03-19T00:01:00.002-07:002015-03-19T00:01:44.055-07:00I Have Shifted - Bookmark my New SiteDear followers,<br />
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It has been a lovely journey here, and I thank you with all my heart for the great support you have shown me throughout my blogging years/space here.<br />
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It is with utmost pleasure that I now announce that I have moved, to a new domain, and gasp, my own website or dot com finally!<br />
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Please kindly update your bookmarks to redirect to my New Site:<br />
Click on the below:<br />
<a href="http://www.angelstarchristy.com/">AngelstarChristy</a><br />
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<a href="http://angelstarchristy.com/">http://angelstarchristy.com</a><br />
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Do Follow/Like me on my <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/AngelstarChristy/204769679540926">Facebook page </a><br />
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/AngelstarChristy/204769679540926">https://www.facebook.com/pages/AngelstarChristy/204769679540926</a><br />
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Twitter: @Angelstar<br />
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Instagram: @AngelstarChristy<br />
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<br />Christina Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11812903022397709758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2003989914151165948.post-34239264392921907212014-06-14T18:38:00.001-07:002014-06-14T18:38:36.807-07:00A Letter to the World's Greatest DadThey say the Hand that Rocks the Candle rules the World<br />
While the idiom was meant for the power and grace of motherhood, I would like to use this as well for my Daddy who had been the other hand on my cradle<br />
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He was the Man behind everything in my life<br />
He was the Man of the House<br />
He was the Man who brought food to the table<br />
Slaving his days out in the tough world out there<br />
Sweating out each challenge and hardship<br />
Roughing it out for he only has his children on his mind<br />
He was the Man who taught me all there is to know about the world<br />
The good, the bad and the ugly<br />
He was the Man who taught me never to be afraid<br />
He will always be there for me<br />
In the darkness, in loneliness, and in times when I just need someone<br />
This is the Man who told me I could be anyone I want to<br />
He never told me things I could not do<br />
He showed me light in all that I do<br />
He held my hand along the way<br />
Never letting go even when I am all grown up today<br />
Even when he handed me over to another man in marriage<br />
He will always watch over me<br />
Simply because I am that little girl in his eyes<br />
That Daddy's Little Girl that he will always protect<br />
That princess in his heart whom none can hurt<br />
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He was the Man every little girl first idolized<br />
He was the Man every little girl benchmarked for their future husband<br />
He was the Man no other man could ever live up to in a girl's life<br />
He was That Man I know as my dearest Daddy<br />
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I am proud to be your daughter<br />
Thank you for Always being there for me<br />
Always telling me that I was the Best thing in your life<br />
You are my Best Friend, and my Superhero<br />
<br />
The things you could do require more than Superpowers<br />
And for that, you deserve that Halo and Wings<br />
Which I am pretty sure is hidden underneath all that greatness in you<br />
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I will never forget that I am never grown up in your eyes<br />
And that you are still always there as my protector<br />
I am always that little girl<br />
And now, your little girl would like to say a very Big Thank You<br />
and to wish you a Happy Father's Day<br />
Not just for today, but for that every single day<br />
Because you are simply the World's Greatest Dad!<br />
<br />
I Love You Daddy!~<br />
<br />
With Love always,<br />
The little girl who will never grow up in your eyes<br />
<br />
<br />Christina Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11812903022397709758noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2003989914151165948.post-91219499544664472462014-04-28T18:48:00.000-07:002014-04-28T18:48:09.162-07:00In Loving Memory...Always~I don't know where to start...there is just so much that I have in my heart, yet they felt like memories from a distance, so long ago in the past but at the same time, it also felt like yesterday that we have just met.<br />
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It was almost a decade ago when I first met you, and we greeted each other with a smile on the day I moved in.<br />
We started introducing ourselves to each other, among the other housemates; there were just so many of us! I felt a little nervous, as I was the newcomer and everyone had already known each other in the house but it was unnecessary for I was made to feel welcomed immediately as part of the big family living under one roof.<br />
Fortunately, it was indeed a huge roof where we had big rooms and space around the semi-detached house, where we took turns in taking care of the place and pooled the funds for the house maintenance.<br />
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We barely saw each other on weekdays; with some rushing for classes, and some of us, for work. I left the house early, and I was touched by the concern shown by everyone who advised me to be extra careful.<br />
It started with smiles, hi's and bye's then to small talks in the hall and kitchen, then to full banter where we would all burst into laughter or fits of giggles, just the way girls behave when they hang out together. It was just so easy, and I felt blessed that we proved those old sayings that large groups of ladies are always headed for trouble; arguments, cat fights and jealousy. There was none in the place I stayed, as everyone was just so friendly and genuine to each other.<br />
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I remembered you offering to walk me to my car every morning though my car was parked in the porch and you would watch me get into the car and drive away, helping me to lock the gate behind me. Then when you shared the wonderful news of your posting to a school where you could finally live your dream as a teacher, we talked for hours and laughed about the silly things we did in our lives.<br />
It was then that we bonded, and most of the housemates were out and some went back to their hometowns. Then there were those times when everyone was around and we would chat in front of the television; though I could not remember what we talked about, it all, and always end up in laughter.<br />
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You were always the motherly or sisterly figure in the house; or at least that's what you appeared to me. You were the chaperon of us all, always showing your concern and taking care of us in all the little ways.<br />
For instance, getting up early and going to the market, then filling the kitchen and entire house with delights from your hometown. I remembered the Laksa, and then you said that you accidentally cooked dessert and handed each and every one a bowl, and there are still leftovers.<br />
Unintentional? I never really did think so, but we enjoyed hearing your stories and the tastes of your home.<br />
I know how it feels to be away from home for so long; barely getting to go back to the arms of mummy and daddy and the comforts of home, whom you must have dearly missed.<br />
You barely showed us you are homesick, but I know, for you have once told me, and that it is painful sometimes. Yes, I know...nothing beats family, even with all of us around you.<br />
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You are always with that smile; and somehow there is always a twinkle in your eye that I see which lights up your face and the hearts of those who see you.<br />
You are never without positive words, and you carried that energy and motivational spirit with you as you embarked on your passion for education; joining that noble and respectable profession of teaching.<br />
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I never had a doubt that you would make a great teacher, for I could just see it in your eyes, and felt it as I got to know you better. You were a gift to your students, and though I did not manage to continue the journey with you then, or to hear about your stories after I moved out, I just know.<br />
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Yes, when I moved out, it was a tearful decision and I missed all of you dearly. You had no idea how you girls made me felt when all of you threw me that farewell party and treated me to a nice dinner at the bistro cafe nearby and then we talked and laughed just like old times.<br />
It was a heartfelt gesture which may appeared like norm for you girls, but it left a deep and lasting impression in my mind and heart as I went on with my life.<br />
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We all parted ways; keeping in touch through the beauty of technology - phone and social network such as Facebook. It was a great way to back in touch and it is amazing how time flew past us and those days in the big house seemed like so far away, yet the memories were still fresh.<br />
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Life is like that; we always meet people along our journey of life and there may be those who were unpleasant and also those who were just so awesome that they deserve a world record, but take pride in the fact that it was by the work of fate that we were all brought together.<br />
Our paths cross when we least expect it, and then lifelong friendships and bonds were formed.<br />
We may have offend some along the way, or even make a few enemies too, but think of it again, even the enemies were the ones where we were supposed to meet in our journey so that we will learn from our mistakes or to be reminded of the world out there.<br />
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We may cry when some friendships/relationships end; because some just were never meant to be, or each of us just have our own individual paths to pursue and that certain things hold more importance to different people. We may not lose our friends, we are all just busy with our own lives or driven away by the other priorities in life.<br />
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We must not cry because things are no longer the same, or that they have ended.<br />
Smile because it at least happened to us, and that we crossed path with these people whom God sent to us for some reason; which we may not realize at that particular point of time.<br />
Everything happens for a reason, and though we may not comprehend it immediately, take it slowly and cherish each moment.<br />
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There is never a time when things would always go our way, and we can never expect to be loved by everyone. We love and we hate, but at least, we can feel our emotions for one another and have our heartstrings tugged in different directions and at different points in our life.<br />
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You have crossed my path at some point in my life, and you have left deep imprints in my heart which you may not even have realized, and there you will always be.<br />
Though they are not always on the surface or top of the mind, it did not mean that I have lost them or taken no heed of them. They were just shadowed by the other things in my life that were all going on at the same time.<br />
You were not less important either, for I have reserved a space for you because I know you will always understand.<br />
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The devastating news of your departure from this world yesterday did much more than just shock me early in the morning. I had to get the confirmation, I had to make sure that this is true.<br />
I cannot comprehend it; it did not sound like it was real...and deep down inside, even with a sinking feeling as I read through the messages on your wall, I still prayed that it was some sort of sick joke which I could be angry with later on.<br />
It has been years since we talked though we were on each other's network, but I remembered us sending a smile to each other once in a while, just like old times.<br />
We were all reconnecting again, having found some of the old housemates whom we have lost for a while.<br />
<br />
I stopped when I saw a photo of you lying so sick in bed, and I realized that this is no longer a sick joke. My eyes suddenly felt misty, and I could not stop the drops of tears from falling.<br />
I do not like to cry; I do not cry in front of people and I am always able to hold the tears from falling but when big drops of tears rolled down my cheeks this morning, I could not hold them anymore.<br />
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This is not happening, how could this be?<br />
You were so young and so bright, but I know you will not want to see any of us feel sad.<br />
I know this is God's will, and you're in a better place now.<br />
You were a strong person, and I know you definitely put up a strong fight but God loved you too much because you were so good that He wanted you and ended your suffering.<br />
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Messages from your students on your wall showed that you have indeed lived your passion, as I have always believed you will.<br />
You were a great teacher and person and I am sure you know that you will be deeply missed by everyone you have taught or crossed path with in your life.<br />
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To a wonderful person like you, I am glad we crossed paths and I pray that you will now rest in peace.<br />
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<b><i>You will always, always, always be in loving memory...may your soul rest for eternity, my dearest ex-housemate/friend Wen Shuang~</i></b><br />
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<br />Christina Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11812903022397709758noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2003989914151165948.post-79642469894976971822014-03-31T03:30:00.001-07:002014-03-31T03:30:36.264-07:00A Matter of Trust<i><b>"Do you think I take too long to trust someone?" </b></i><div>
I turned and shot this question at my partner a few days ago, while we were driving around in the car.<div>
If he seemed surprised at my question, he made no signs of that, as usual.</div>
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Unfazed, he just nodded slowly to my statement.</div>
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<i>"Do you feel that I don't trust people?"</i></div>
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He hesitated for a while, <i>"Not really"</i></div>
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<i>"What do you mean by <b>'not really'</b>?"</i></div>
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From his expression, I could tell that he knows I am not going to end this conversation anytime soon, and that he needs to be prepared by more questions coming from me, like an examiner in an English oral examination.</div>
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<i>"Well, I guess you do trust people, but you are selective and you need time to really build that trust, compared to other people. Even then, you may still guard your trust to yourself, because it's your character and you just feel that you can never fully trust others. It's not that they are not trustworthy, but you just prefer not to fully trust to avoid getting hurt"</i></div>
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This statement probably spoke my mind, and part of it, I would say is almost true. It almost described the person and my view on trust; then again, partially?</div>
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Well, when I asked this question, it was obvious there were thoughts on this running through my mind before and that I know I really cannot expect a right or wrong answer on this; nor can I expect a 100% accurate answer because, frankly, I think even I may not know the real answer to this.</div>
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Such are the matters of the heart; the complexity of things from different perspectives.</div>
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I admit, I am not a person who trusts easily, and like many out there in the world, trust is just something I regard as precious and important, yet fragile at the same time. Trust, to me, needs to be earned and not simply to be granted to anyone, for there needs to be an observation and evaluation on the person's character before I could begin to trust a little on the surface. Yes, just the basic trust, as I would trust what he/she says about the daily things and their lives, but not to the extent of sharing my own life stories with them. I would probably attribute this to my personality since young where I do not like to talk about my own stories; or things in my life with others, even if they are my closest friends or people around me. It was something which I guarded very carefully, and while I had no problems making friends or building my social circles, I still do not reveal that much about my own personal life. I do not want to wander into the category of over sharing with others.</div>
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Don't get me wrong, I have my close circle of friends, those whom I know I could count on and fall back on anytime whenever I need them. They are those who knew me well and through, and in that aspect, they knew this part about me and yet they accepted it as who I really am. There is no qualms from their side to share their lives with me, even if I am not ready to do the same. There is no need to explain if I did not tell them about something which occurred in my life, for they understand that I will talk about it when I am ready to, or if I may never ever want to talk about it. I appreciate the great understanding and patience, and for their support all the while. I never have to worry about being judged by them for not sharing, for they know me well enough to know that it is just my style.</div>
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I am also thankful, it is them; and there is more than one whom I could truly call my real friends.</div>
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It takes me time, to just delve into my life and with whom I share my stories with. I still believe that people are generally good, but that does not mean that I could trust them with everything that I have, or my life (except for those real friends who won't even bug me for the slightest secret which I did not share with them). I am blessed with wonderful people around me, and I understand sometimes I may frustrate some of them, but it is just something that even I had to deal with. </div>
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Trust, to me, is just so fragile that sometimes I am afraid of it myself. I do not want to get hurt, nobody does anyway, but I just go to my own personal length to protect myself, or safeguard myself a little more than others (perhaps more fiercely so).</div>
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I am confined to my own comfort zone; and sometimes I am probably like a bottle; stuffed with so many tiny pieces of paper containing private messages/stories/letters to myself, or about my life that the cork holding it tightly could also burst anytime.</div>
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You see, whenever I run into any problem or am unhappy, I don't talk about it. I keep it to myself, and I just keep them all inside. I don't cry in front of others; and even if I am on the verge of tears, I hold it back so fiercely that the tears will only wobble closely at the edge of the eyes. I will not let them fall down the cheeks; no, not in front of people. I could cry to myself, and not let people know about it, because that is the way I handle my own life.</div>
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Some say it is not healthy, for I could be doing myself more damage than good when I keep things bottled up. It is better to let it out and let the emotions out so that it could relieve the inner soul of holding so much and yet there is no avenue of relief.</div>
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Maybe they are right, maybe they may not be either, for it is really a matter of personal handling when it comes to our own matters.</div>
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I am handling things pretty well so far, and I agree, it does not mean that the bubble may never burst, but I am holding well. I tend to move back and forth between trust; where sometimes I have started to trust someone then I may hold back my trust again as though there is an invisible wall between us. I know all about trust; I have read all about them in books (yes, medical and psychology) and I know that the very fact I can even write and share about this, means I am not doing that bad yet.</div>
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It is all, again, just a matter of trust....</div>
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Christina Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11812903022397709758noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2003989914151165948.post-47192105364223645452014-02-28T22:07:00.003-08:002014-02-28T22:07:53.845-08:00Waiting for Inspiration?Inspiration is a word so commonly and widely associated with the notion of waiting for that idea or that lightbulb to just turn on or come flowing that just turns one on to full force to get working. Typically associated with art and writing, inspiration is often said to be the 'air' or the oxygen which goes through the passageway of the artists, writers, authors, craftsmen, etc into creating their work of art. There is often need for inspiration in this field, where the concept of the works are often abstract-based and requires originality and creativity.<br />
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Originating from the Latin word, <b><i>inspirare</i></b>, which means <i>"to breathe into"</i>, the term inspiration is not just so commonly used but also simultaneously, misused at the same time. Many have said that they are waiting for that inspiration to strike before they can truly get on to producing their work, but exactly when can we expect inspiration to strike? I am not sure if anyone can tell you that in definite, but I would say the reason it is called inspiration is because no one knows, exactly, when it would come. It could be a day, a week, or an hour, or sometimes, maybe even months or years of waiting for that inspiration to just strike and knock us on the door. In the end, it seemed to me, that inspiration starts to end up in the wrong way, where they are often the cause when the work cannot be started or completed on time, due to, you guess it, the lack of inspiration.<br />
I don't know, but somehow to me, it starts to feel like it was an excuse we use to conceal the fact that we are unable to just do something.<br />
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This is just my personal opinion, like say, myself, when I write posts or updates for my blogs, sometimes it takes time to complete posts in my drafts to be published. I could be waiting for inspiration perhaps, but most of the time, I was just really caught up with other stuffs in life that I just got carried away with the other priorities. So, is it really a matter of inspiration or am I just using the term as an excuse to get away with not completing my post or updating my blog? Is it a mere feeble attempt at getting away with procrastination, the real thief of my time and effort?<br />
I would think that had I just force myself or just set that time to just sit and think seriously, I might be able to come up with something after all. Perhaps, or perhaps not, for the next thing that comes is that the work may not be up to my personal expectations, because of again, you guess it right, the lack of inspiration at the time that it was produced.<br />
It is really funny, how inspiration is overly and almost constantly nailed as the culprit behind the times when we just didn't feel like doing something.<br />
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Inspiration is a breath, perhaps, I can say it in that way, but it is a matter of time when you wait for that breath and do we continue waiting? If everyone waits for that right time, that right idea to come along, I would bet you that there would be no monthly issues of magazines, nor are there advertisements in a very very long time. Worse still, you may only be treated to movies once in that blue moon (which is always a myth anyway). So, is inspiration truly the reason behind good works?<br />
I would say while it does plays a certain part in contributing to the originality and perhaps the intriguing reality that appears in the work, most of the time, it really boils down to the effort when we are working on something.<br />
Inspiration is supposed to 'breathe life into' something, and how can there be inspiration when there is nothing in the first place?<br />
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Had we been waiting on inspiration, I must say most of us would not be at work half the time....<br />
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<br />Christina Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11812903022397709758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2003989914151165948.post-19714384529718873872014-02-28T00:04:00.000-08:002014-02-28T00:04:16.870-08:00A Meme I made I found an old meme which I have created; in an attempt of being funny. It was a time as they say where inspiration strikes and I just went along with it.<br />
I posted this on my <a href="https://www.facebook.com/christina.kim.31924">Facebook</a> sometime ago, just for laughs and I guessed I forgot to share this on my own blog *slaps forehead*<br />
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It was sometime in May last year when I was driving past a neighborhood and happened to pass by a local Chinese cemetery which had a sign standing.<br />
Let me translate that as it was in our local Malay language, which means <b><i>"No Entry to Cows, this is a private property"</i></b><br />
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<a href="http://www.directupload.net/" target="_blank"><img src="http://s7.directupload.net/images/140228/2kfx93vw.jpg" height="480" title="Kostenlos Bilder und Fotos hochladen" width="640" /></a><br />
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Now, while it makes sense in English, it just didn't mean entirely that when you read it in the Malay language and somehow it just sounded a little weird in the grammar that I just couldn't help but laugh when I thought of this meme.<br />
It helped that I managed to catch glimpse of the following supporting actors too~<br />
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<a href="http://www.directupload.net/" target="_blank"><img src="http://s14.directupload.net/images/140228/4kvnqt8j.jpg" height="480" title="Kostenlos Bilder und Fotos hochladen" width="640" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.directupload.net/" target="_blank"><img src="http://s7.directupload.net/images/140228/eem2k7tj.jpg" height="480" title="Kostenlos Bilder und Fotos hochladen" width="640" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.directupload.net/" target="_blank"><img src="http://s7.directupload.net/images/140228/uw738zrf.jpg" height="480" title="Kostenlos Bilder und Fotos hochladen" width="640" /></a><br />
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I enjoyed making this meme, and it was my first attempt at this...though I do have lots of quirky ideas and comebacks at times.<br />
Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did in the making.<br />
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All copyrights are reserved :-)<br />
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<br />Christina Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11812903022397709758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2003989914151165948.post-90686675691560222942014-02-27T23:14:00.001-08:002014-02-27T23:35:50.390-08:00Yesterday once moreYesterday felt like a replay of the famous Carpenters' ballad, 'yesterday once more', as I was suddenly filled with the snapshots of the past which just came rushing into the mind. It almost felt like I was traversing through time as I flipped through the photos when snippets of the past first appeared in my mind. (Chronologically, the memories came to my mind before I started locating the photos to revive the past sentiments)<br />
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I was overcame with nostalgia, and it brought smiles and giggles as I recalled the remnants from my own past, while tiny tears formed at the side of my eyes too. Most of the memories which came back were the happy ones, though there are bits and pieces which did tug a little at the heartstrings for they held that tiny part of weight deep down inside. Questions of what-ifs do come into my mind once in a while, but they are just there like passing clouds for I do know that the past will always be the past and today is based on the decisions we made back then. It is inevitable regret will creep in once in a while but nothing can change the past, and I can only focus on the present, with the lessons learnt from the past to make the future a better one. The future is the one that I should be focused on and the future depends on what I do today and to avoid regrets, the only way is to truly cherish the present and make decisions for the upcoming future.<br />
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Memories are what made us who we are today; our thoughts, our character and our personality are all formed from the events of the past. They should be regarded with amusement and part of our learning curve as we should only look forward to the future. God gave us eyes to look in front; which is why our eyes are located at the front and not at the back, to avoid always being hung up on the past.<br />
We have all been through the good and bad times; which is the main reason we have learnt to smile, to frown, and to silently cry. The good and the bad are there to teach us about emotions, and that the journey of life will always be filled with bends and turns, but there will be rainbows and sunshines, and many other little things which can just turn that curve on our lips upward.<br />
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Time really flies as I looked back at some of things which have happened; for instance, even in the past year. I have gotten back to working in the field which I thought I have left and had the busiest year and a half which I am still wondering at the way I survived the time. It was a bittersweet experience and while I have been through the tough times, I realized that there were silver linings as I have found the ones who truly cared and will stand by me in times of good and bad without question. Besides I have also filled in the blanks with more experiences and left footprints in the lives of others; having had theirs in mine too. I have met people whom I may not have known had I not taken that chance, or if I had just given up. I had formed strong friendships alongside the working relationship and even though we may be apart now, we are still very much attached to that bond we had formed in the past year.<br />
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Work, life, relationships and friendships and all the events just came like it was being played on the a slideshow. Perhaps I should thank my memory power for being able to recall even the smallest details which some of my friends have even forgotten. I am a very sentimental person, and I hold each of the bits and pieces of my life with so much emotion that sometimes I find it hard to let go of the things in life. It could be that I am too determined in part, and there are times when I just hold strongly to my beliefs. It is just the way it is with my life, I always regard everything with a serious attitude, and sometimes, it is this which could end up bogging me down and hurt myself in the process.<br />
Well, at least it is something which I have learnt to deal with and understand, and am now learning to let go, slowly.<br />
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I don't let go of my memories though; no, they are, in my mind, one of the most beautiful part of me for they are truly what formed me today. I love remembering the stories from the past, and the things I have been through with the many people whom I have crossed path with. From childhood, school, university, my first job...nothing can take all these away, nor can they be deleted just with a click. I treasure these memories with all my heart.<br />
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I have learnt to laugh so hard that it is hard to breathe; with the funny and ridiculous jokes that I have heard...<br />
I have learnt to hold back my tears and not let them flow down to show weakness. It was difficult, but I am determined not to be weak and I had to hold them back even though they were filling my eyes to the brim that I had to even hold back from blinking or breathing...<br />
I have learnt to take a deep breath and walk away from an argument, even though I know the other party is on the wrong and I am right (and I do not like to back down when I am right, but I did)...<br />
I have learnt to just ignore and block out the messages which are meant to hurt me, and just take a deep breath, telling myself that it is just part and parcel of life...<br />
I have learnt to look straight at the people in my eye and show them I am not afraid of them even if they try to create fear in me<br />
I have learnt to let go of the extra baggage that I do not want carry any longer<br />
I have learnt to just let myself go and cry as hard as I can, to myself, in my car, and somewhere in my secret hiding place<br />
I have learnt to swallow my tears and muster up the courage to smile even though deep down inside it hurts<br />
I have learnt to accept things that cannot be changed and not myself be affected by them<br />
I have learnt that there are just things which are beyond my control and I do not need to even try to control<br />
I have learnt to forget things which have happened, and I am still trying to learn to forgive<br />
I have learnt to let go of the things which didn't matter and to bury the deep scars<br />
I have learnt that feelings are beautiful and they come and go, for we are just human beings<br />
I have learnt that I need to love myself before loving others, and for others to love me<br />
I have learnt to smile at myself each day because I am worth it<br />
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There are just so many more things that I have learnt and I am still learning along the way.....and there will be no end to the learning as I am faced with all the different and unpredictable situations which will continue to head my way.<br />
There is no sure way to say that there won't be anymore tears or anger, but I am ready for them for I will just counter them with my own way....to be positive and brave.<br />
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Yesterday I was just naive<br />
Yesterday I believed that everyone was good in their own nature and not evil<br />
Yesterday I find it hard to really place trust in someone besides myself<br />
Yesterday I felt hurt by the people who did not care and showed their true nature<br />
Yesterday I saw hope and love in those who showed up in times of need<br />
Yesterday I smiled because it is going to be alright today<br />
Yesterday I looked forward to today because I know that time will always heal<br />
Yesterday I laughed because of all the goofy things I did and believed was cool<br />
Yesterday I smiled because I was filled with hope with what tomorrow would bring<br />
Yesterday I wiped away a tear when people weren't watching<br />
Yesterday I had so much fun with the people who shared the same vision and passion with me<br />
Yesterday I drifted apart from some of the people from the past who judged me<br />
Yesterday I made decisions by asking for His guidance<br />
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There are so much more which had taken place yesterday, but they are all in the past and they will always be a part of my past. It will always be a secret part of me, but all there to make me better and to tickle me to see the beauty and ugliness of what I had been through.<br />
Today is what I am going to do and how I want to make myself happier<br />
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Tomorrow is something I cannot see just yet, but I am sure it will not be an easy road because that is just life...and the only way to make it easier, is to just be brave, and smile to take on that challenge!<br />
After all, no one ever said life is going to be easy...and the best we can do is to make it the best for ourselves!<br />
So, Smile, laugh, cry, shout, get angry, get goofy, (but don't go killing people), let your hair down once in a while and life will be a cool roller coaster ride~ :-)<br />
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Missing all the memories from the past...maybe I should write a letter to my future self, based on the memories I am creating today for tomorrow~<br />
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<br />Christina Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11812903022397709758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2003989914151165948.post-6144426309750396902014-02-25T17:40:00.002-08:002014-02-25T17:40:56.864-08:00Sleepless nightI lay awake last night; way past my usual bedtime, tossing from the right to the left while trying to shut my eyes to sleep. It wasn't like the ordinary routine where I would just need to close my eyes and then I would slowly drift to sleep. No, somehow I couldn't shut the thoughts in my mind or tell my mind to just wrap it up for the day and let me get to rest. It was like my mind was just not in direct synchronization with my eyes and my heart (literally, not medically) and there were just flashes of images and scenarios which just keep playing themselves like slideshows being put on the Play mode on the remote control when we are watching a movie. The only difference is, the Pause or Stop button does not seem to be working, even as I was trying my hardest to halt the entire stream of thoughts from continuing.<br />
It seemed that the harder I tried, the harder it becomes for me to really shut my eyes and just go to sleep.<br />
I guess, I just didn't expect it to affect me that much, especially since I have recently managed to recover my sleeping pattern.<br />
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It was not really good, I have been plagued with sleeping problems for a couple of months; and was periodically occurring since last year. While it was originally caused by the work stress and also the work which led me to staying up to complete my assignments, and then mentally planning and preparing myself for the next day each night before I go to sleep, it soon became embedded in the sleep routine which made it harder for me to go to sleep even after those stressful work periods. I told myself that it was just the momentary effect since I have conditioned my body and mind to that stage and it will only take time for me to re-condition and allow myself to just let things go and unwind and things will go back to normal. It did appear like it was according to what I thought; only that the sleep patterns were irregular and I just find that I was getting restless at the same time.<br />
Many methods were implemented; trust me, I have tried everything and even chamomile tea which initially worked, just turned out to let me down much later, even though I didn't drink it every single day so as not to allow its effects to wear off eventually.<br />
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I have gotten back to sleeping better over the past few weeks, and I knew that it is a good thing for my body and mind to really get that rest it deserved, and not think too much before my bedtime, which is what I always do (oh well, I don't just think before my bedtime, I just keep thinking, like, all the time!).<br />
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Last night was probably not because of any other issue, but it was more of something which was more of a thinking dilemma, only it did involve a little more than that. Somehow, I could not help thinking about the past, the present and the future and linking them together. There are just so many things which kept plaguing my mind to the extent of a decision that I was stuck in a dilemma. At the same time, there was just a slight feeling of hurt and disappointment which crept into the heart because this time, it involve not only a decision but rather, a perspective and a point of view that made me wonder, whether I have been too silly to believe what I thought was the truth all the while.<br />
I couldn't help it, the sneaky little thoughts from a tiny voice just kept seducing me to question the very root of my trust and faith in the person and the situation in which I had been believing all this while. Have I been too naive and trusting again, to think that things were the way it seem?<br />
The recent incident seem to appear otherwise and try as I can, I can't seem to justify the reason for the thoughts which just crept its way into my mind and into the heart.<br />
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I wished I had an answer; and perhaps that was what I was probably doing, keeping myself awake in the process, trying to come up with the answer or the justification to explain what is actually happening, and I am not sure if I am able to even convince myself. It is hard enough trying to understand the situation and worrying about the direction I want in my life, but matters of the heart and relating to trust are just never easy to decipher. I want to brush away the hurt, for I believe it could only be a perception formed on my side.<br />
I want to believe that it not the case; that I have been overly involved in the thoughts of what I perceived and that it was just a misunderstanding. I want to believe so badly, even though I have no way to prove whichever is wrong or right. I know deep down inside, it is not as bad as the worst case scenario I have imagined and that, was indeed a case of just an extra inflated balloon.<br />
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It is a wonder I can get any sleep when my mind is filled with so many thoughts pacing back and forth, and with me physically turning over from left to right, right to left and staring at the ceiling.<br />
The thoughts are coupled with that tinge of hurt which I just could not explain, because I did not want to explain and I just want to let it be.<br />
It hurts because I cared; and because I had let my trust and naivety take over, and I am now doubtful if it was truly well-deserved or was I just believing in someone non-deserving?<br />
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I don't have all the answers yet, and I may never have all the answers...I may need to wonder my whole entire lifetime, or I could just go up to the person and ask, but will I still be able to believe or again dissect the answer and the way it was answered to my thoughts? I don't know, perhaps what they say is true, Ignorance is Bliss....and maybe I should never need to know, to maintain that original positive image I have formed.<br />
I don't know....I just think, I need to stop thinking about it...and let time and nature takes their course....Christina Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11812903022397709758noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2003989914151165948.post-90101711207628364672014-02-20T23:11:00.003-08:002014-02-20T23:11:41.452-08:00Spare a thought for the festive seasonHow was your Lunar New Year, or rather your Chinese New Year 2014 celebrations been?<br />
I am sure it must have been awesome; I was enlightened by the constant and instant updates of new photos throughout the festive celebration on my social media accounts (especially Facebook) of how everyone was enjoying themselves. It was definitely a delightful treat; not to mention refreshing, in the least when I see the vibrant lifestyle of most of the people posting details of their lives and their families and friends all on the blue and white page and to a certain extent, it even seemed like it was some sort of a competition with each sharing about how grand their dinner was, how exciting their activities were and even how beautiful their clothes were. It was not in a negative manner though; in fact, I even find it amusing and entertaining to be able to be kept updated of all my friends' lives at a click to scroll down the page.<br />
I am happy to see the beaming faces and I wish everyone all the happiness as well.<br />
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I used to take the Chinese New Year in a rather nonchalant mood; meaning I am not really that excited about the festive mood as it approaches, and it was rather weird for children typically look forward to the season to put on their brand new clothes and shoes, and awaits the collection of red angpows (red packets with money) which brings extra pocket money to be spent or, in my case, to be saved in the little piggy bank (this is just a term referring to the coin box; as mine was a rabbit bank, and it was in my favorite pink color too). Perhaps it was due to the fact that Chinese New Year meant lots of homework to work on, and feasting on lots of takeaways or stored food and cookies which were not to the liking of my taste buds. You see, the Chinese New Year happens to be big deal back then among the Chinese community and it is especially so in a Chinese populated neighborhood where everyone takes a break from work to enjoy the festive season; including the morning/night markets, hawker stalls and even restaurants. The only ones which are left open would charge exorbitant prices for a simple meal; unless you go to a place run by Indians or Malays, or the other option would be the always fixed price fast food outlets.<br />
Today is slightly different, and it is not that the Chinese New Year no longer matters, but the folks in business are now smarter to earn the bucks during the festive season when others are resting and then enjoy their break at the end of the Chinese New Year when things have resumed to normal. These folks are definitely enjoying the good fortune and prosper well during the Chinese New Year season, with a price increase in their food and drinks.<br />
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I remembered I was also not that fond of a lot of cookies or the festive goodies which many kids would run to, and squeal in delight as they reach their hands for that tin of Kuih Kapit or Kuih Bangkit, or even the chewy sweets. I, on the other hand, run towards the opposite direction.<br />
Perhaps I was just weird, or I did not want to risk falling sick at all, or another simple reason, I hate how those stuffs stick to the back of my teeth and just makes me so uncomfortable, and for that reason, I've sworn them off. Weird, I know.<br />
Well, I am still a normal kid who loves collecting angpows, although I typically only collect from my close relatives and I don't usually go to my friends' houses as I just don't find it that appropriate to be asking for angpows from their parents, even during the festive season. I just don't feel right about it; and this is just from my personal perspective. Another thing that I used to do during the festive season, is to finish up my homework and revise my chapters on the textbook. Sounds crazy, right? And I know you are just this close to calling me a nerd, or a dumb bookworm.<br />
Maybe I am, I just love books, and I want to prepare myself ahead of class and to understand all the stuffs that I have been taught. Of course, I don't READ textbooks throughout the entire holidays, I still read my favorite novels more than the non-fiction.<br />
Those were the memories of my childhood during the Chinese New year season.<br />
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As I grow older, okay, I am old now, I find myself anticipating the festivities and together with my brother, we would work together to decorate the house and help mum to clean up, and even buy the food stuffs for the reunion dinner or to store for the season. Reunion dinners previously probably just passed as a normal dinner as we always had dinner together every night. My dad used to tell us, "A family that eats together, stays together" which remains etched in my mind, and I strongly believe in this. No one dines first, then others dine later in my family. If we want to eat, we sit down at the table together and eat together, that is the rule.<br />
Since I left for university and then later for work where I was based in another state, traveling home for reunion dinner became something which I looked forward to, as it meant I could stay at home and be with the family (which also meant being pampered and spoilt rotten) even if it meant just for a couple of days.<br />
I slowly started to appreciate the theme of the reunion dinner as it was truly meaningful when the whole family gathers again at the table; chatting away happily and enjoying the food.<br />
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After I got married, I switched to sitting down for reunion dinner with my in-laws and it was a unique and enlightening experience to me, exchanging our thoughts and banter with my new family members at the table. I did miss my family, but I did know I could return for the reunion dinner on the second day of the Chinese New Year; a custom practiced by the Chinese society where married daughters are to return to their maiden homes to start off the year ("Hoi Nin" in Cantonese, or directly translated as Opening of the New Year). It was also another happy occasion; when I get to return. While it may seem like I was missing from the reunion dinner on Chinese New Year's eve with my family, I compensated by bringing an additional member (my husband) home for the reunion on the 2nd day. It is definitely interesting how the Chinese customs work sometimes.<br />
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As I start to revel in the deeper meaning of the Chinese New Year, I am learning more and more things and enjoying my experience as each Chinese New year comes and goes. I am now mingling with my new family members (maybe not so new anymore), and it is an interesting experience learning to interact with them and understanding their family background.<br />
My family is not really a big one; but my in-laws had a slightly bigger family and there are even children running around. Reunion dinner was also really meaningful as my brothers-in-law and their families are based in other countries, and I could see the smiles and joy on my mother-in-law's face when they return for the celebrations. Such was the drops of contentment in a mother's heart.<br />
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This year, I was not that much into the mood, perhaps another sign of getting older, but I did some thinking and made resolutions in conjunction with the new beginning of a lunar year.<br />
I have noticed the signs of age on both sets of parents, and it is evident that they are happy to see their children all grown up and independent nowadays. However, are we truly aware of the things they need? Of course money could help them to survive and buy the things they need to get by the day, but the thing that they would need most is the love and attention from their grown up children, and I wonder whether we have been doing enough, or are we just like the contemporary working people, just satisfying their kids' wants with money?<br />
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Besides the parents, are we all just merely putting on shows with the beautiful clothes, shoes, bags and hampers we prepare each year? Do we focus our thoughts on being thankful for our blessings; for being able to have new things to put on and place around the house? While we thank God for being able to afford the things we have, do we also think of those who are less fortunate out there?<br />
Yes, it is good to be able to afford the good food on the table, the beautiful clothes on us and the fireworks to set off to enjoy the festive mood, but sometimes, I just wonder are we all just looking at the surface and merely pleased by the materialistic things in life? Or are we turning ourselves into self-obsessed beings; where we are focused on the things WE have, WE want, WE need, and WE must buy. It seems to be all about us, but when it comes to others, we tend to shy away or mumble a few excuses that we have just enough to feed our own.<br />
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Are we all being giving enough?<br />
Festive seasons are not about the parading of the finest cloaks nor the most expensive silver on the table, but rather, it should be about a change deep within, and time to renew the relationship with the ones we love. Start to love ourselves, our parents and our families/loved ones and those around us, and slowly make a change. Confucius had also said in one of his literature that if we were to treat everyone around us like our own family, the world would be a much better place to live in. The same concept was practiced in Christianity where we would refer to one another as brothers and sisters.<br />
As kids, we love to collect the red packets filled with money and when we grow up and gotten married, we are the ones filling those red packets with the money to be given to others. I have even heard of those who quarrel over the amount of money to be put into that red packet, and those who complain about the amount they received. Is that the spirit of giving and receiving in a brand new year?<br />
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When we put that money into the pocket, we should not be counting only the dollar notes, do fill it with sincere prayers and thoughts. We share and exchange the well wishes with each other during the festive season, and usually the younger ones(or the recipients) would wish the elders all the good blessings before receiving the red packet. Let these be real words from the heart, put some thought into it and wish from the bottom of your heart.<br />
For those giving the angpows, return the wishes with a warm thought and smile, and also wish the recipients the wonderful things you can think of and hope for.<br />
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When you do good with a sincere heart and with a genuine intention, it can be felt with the heart and it truly shows on the face. Yes, that eminent glow on the face and a good feeling in the heart is all that matters.<br />
All the beautiful things, food and clothes are just merely cosmetic decorations to enhance the joyous spirit of everyone in wishing for good things at the beginning of the year; hoping to chase away the bad from the previous year and hoping for a change. When the year changes, EVERY one wants changes in their life, and for the better, of course.<br />
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For things to change, one must first change....and remember, it always comes from the heart.<br />
When you truly give and receive from the heart, and OPEN up your heart to everyone out there (loved ones and less fortunate ones), you will find that happiness and peace and good things will surely come.<br />
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Even the flowers will look especially beautiful when it blooms in full, as it comes from the heart.<br />
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May the Horse Year brings you much more joy and good things!~<br />
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<br />Christina Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11812903022397709758noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2003989914151165948.post-36041247595093078322014-02-20T01:24:00.000-08:002014-02-20T01:34:03.509-08:00Be Happy each day, or at least, 100 Happy Days!~While I have launched my own personal project which is still on its way, I have also decided to take up the #100happydays challenge which is fast spreading like forest fire on the social media world.<br />
There are just so many things we ought to be thankful for, and since life is short, why focus on the sad things in life.<br />
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It is also an extremely meaningful project which helps many to discover happiness, and to find that way to just smile each day.<br />
It is a realistic milestone, with the 100 days set as the limit out of the 365 days but why limit happiness? It is even better to be able to outlive the 100 days and make it to being happy for the whole year. What an interesting ode to happiness this is!<br />
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There are many things happening out there in the world, and while we cannot predict what will happen next, the only thing that is within our control is our attitude and mindset towards each of the events unfolding in our lives. If we choose to embrace it with a anguish and sorrow, then it will set the mood in ourselves to be moody and grumpy. On the contrary, taking it in a stride, wiping away the tears and smile and tell ourselves, "It will get better" is definitely a better way to handle the situation and to send that cheerful strait down to our hearts.<br />
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I am happy, and I must keep it that way!<br />
Will you?<br />
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<b><span style="background-color: yellow; font-size: large;">#100HappyDaysChallenge
</span></b><a href="http://www.directupload.net/" target="_blank"><img src="http://s14.directupload.net/images/140220/h9vzoide.jpg" height="640" title="Kostenlos Bilder und Fotos hochladen" width="480" /></a>Christina Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11812903022397709758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2003989914151165948.post-5856520513791114472014-02-14T05:35:00.003-08:002014-02-14T05:35:29.769-08:00My Project 365So I have made a resolution at the beginning of the year 2014 that I will be working on multiple things that I am currently focusing on; and will be revealed in time, and one of these key projects is my #Project365.<br />
The name of the project sounds simple and self-explanatory enough, and it was something which came to my mind all of a sudden; and it even became clearer when I caught glimpse of a quotation made by a Buddhist monk. It got me thinking for a while, and I was determined that I wanted to try it out. It sounds like a simple thing, but it requires a true passion and of course sincerity from the bottom of the heart to make it work.<br />
Simple yet complicated?<br />
I must have got you wondering what on earth I was talking about...<br />
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Well, the quote was quite simple on which the concept of my personal project was borne.<br />
It goes this way that, 'if we were to do one good deed a day, we could have helped 365 souls in a year'. Sounds good and really noble, right? It was definitely a positive way to kick start the brand new year, and it made perfect sense to do something for a change in this ever evolving world.<br />
So, with that in mind, I took up the challenge and created my #Project365 for my personal trial.<br />
Although I have not been posting on this blog (I will try to do so soon) on a daily basis, that did not mean I did not pay much thought to my project, and that those were just the generic resolutions like many others which would probably end up in the closet.<br />
Nope, I remembered and thought of, or prayed for that one thing I could do each day to help or do something good, or for someone out there.<br />
The concept is to do something good, be it for others or loved ones, or even for ourselves.<br />
It could even be something as simple as just a prayer, yes, it was that simple, but, again, the key is the purity of the thought that goes into the action. That was the beautiful part of this project.<br />
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Today is already Day 45 of the year 2014; and I dare not say that I have done much to change the world (that is not the point, though it would be a small part to the ultimate goal), but I have found peace within myself and felt a little refreshed.<br />
The things that I have done, may not be a lot, but they have helped to shape my project, which I reckon would be tuned along the way. After all, this is the first attempt, and being human, we can't guarantee 100% success rate due to the emotions which cloud us each day and also the unforeseen/unpredictable circumstances which take place every day.<br />
However, I have done the following; though not in any particular order:-<br />
1. Smiled at a stranger (the person probably thought I was out of my mind, but it did make a difference as he looked rather sullen and when I smiled, he couldn't help but form a slight smile as though to reciprocate mine. That, to me, was a success, and I felt good) - Multiple times<br />
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2. Gave way to a family who was trying to cross the road amidst the crazy traffic in town where cars were dashing all over the places. They waved back, and I felt happy to be a courteous driver =)<br />
Gave way to drivers and pedestrians and thanked people for giving way as well.<br />
It was all part of the journey to create more courtesy in Malaysia - Multiple times<br />
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3. Held the door open for a couple pushing a pram and balancing their shopping bags on a few occasions; in a shopping mall and also in a condominium lobby - Multiple times<br />
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4. Gave up my seat to an elderly couple while on a swaying bus going down a winding road on one of my trips to the outskirt. The elderly couple thanked me all the way, and even said they do not deserved it. This was probably the best thing I have done for it made me really happy and touched that such a small thing could have created such a big effect on others. - x3<br />
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5. Spent some time listening to the grouches and rants of the elderly sales women on duty at the shopping malls, and comforted them. They were oppressed due to their age and also suffered disrespect from the customers due to their jobs and they just needed to air their frustrations. I even offered them advices to just ignore those who disrespect them and not curse others. It was an interesting experience and I have learnt a lot; one of which is the way they think and their expectations - x3<br />
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6. Prayed for the people who have hurt me and my family; and prayed for their forgiveness. Learning to let go and also healing myself and the wounds of my loved ones. It is a long journey, but I will continue trying as I have let go of the burden. God will guide them the way, for they know not what they are doing at the moment. - every day<br />
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7. Offered things which I would not in the past; as part of my reconciliation process. I am a possessive person at times, but I have learnt the joys of sharing and opening up to the people around me to know and be known better by others. It was a rewarding journey, particularly during the festive season as I could reach to others' souls and make a difference.<br />
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8. Helped people with chores others would not do, but was reciprocated with much kindness. This was definitely a highlight as well.<br />
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As you can see, I do not detail much of the things I have done for I am still very much a personal and rather private person; and also because there are things which involved the privacy of others which I need to respect. Perhaps I will be more open in time to come, and hopefully I can start to update this blog on a daily basis on the progress of my project 365!<br />
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Update for today; Day 45?<br />
I have reconnected with friends whom I have neglected in the past, and even sent a few smiles and warm wishes down their way, making everyone delighted.<br />
It sent a warm feeling to my heart, and stirred inside me the inexplicable feeling of gratitude and joy.<br />
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As today is also the double celebration of the Chinese Valentine's Day and the Valentine's Day which coincides on such a rare basis, oh, there's also the Chap Goh Meh, the last day of the 15-day celebration of the Lunar New Year, what is better than spreading more love around?<br />
Love and be loved!~<br />
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<br />Christina Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11812903022397709758noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2003989914151165948.post-70438811243471467902013-12-30T21:59:00.000-08:002013-12-30T21:59:01.068-08:00Counting my Blessings - 2013 in ReflectionThe year comes and goes, and in barely a wink of an eye, it is time to bid farewell to a year and get ready to welcome another year with open arms.<br />
It is not about whether we are ready for time, just like tide, waits for no man and we should always be ready to face each day with new life and a new attitude!<br />
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While I have lost touch with my blogs for more than a year and it was painful not being able to share most of my life stories on my blog, but looking back, I was caught up with so much at work and travel that I barely get to sleep that I wonder had I the time to blog. Or turning it the other way around, I could also have found solace in my blogs where I could just quickly pen down my thoughts and things which took shape around me in the whole entire year. While recovering from the major threats on my blogs, I had seen and gone through so much from 2012 to 2013, and while there are many wonderful moments, I have also had my own share of the bitter experiences but I take it all in a positive stride as I take them as part of my learning experiences; and in growing up (or wiser?)<br />
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Many things have happened; it is after all, a total of 365 days in a year, and while I was an optimistic person in general, I have too fallen prey to the pessimist side of myself in some of those days. Thankfully, with God's whispers and guidance, I took His hand and got up, held my head up and smiled. It may hurt at some times, but there is always a silver lining. I am starting to go back to my journal of blessings where I list down all the things which made me happy and things which I may not understand at the moment, but will eventually. It was just a little habit I have since young, and I have taken a backseat once in a while, but I am determined to keep it going.<br />
As today is the last day of 2013, as usual, I will take a trip down memory lane to relive all the memories and major events which I have gone through in the year it was, before starting afresh with the New Year tomorrow.<br />
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<b><u>2013....I have</u></b><br />
1. Taken on new major responsibilities at work<br />
2. Learnt to work with different people from different areas of expertise<br />
3. Met new friends who became steadfast buddies (including customers/partners)<br />
4. Helped my customers/clients with their issues at work<br />
5. Taken on new challenges in a new environment<br />
6. Changed my perspectives on life<br />
7. Understood more about why things happen the way they did<br />
8. Traveled to places - for work and for leisure (well, mostly for work, but finally I did take that break for leisure)<br />
9. Taken more notice of my own health and well-being (LOL, I have neglected myself sometimes in the midst of the hectic lifestyle)<br />
10. Reconnected with some old friends and people from the past and it felt extremely good<br />
11. Found my true soul friends whom I can trust and rely on<br />
12. Learnt to Let Go (Okay, I have to admit, this is still in progress, but I am working on it)<br />
13. Changed my hairstyle (hehe, nothing major, just minor changes on the waves by my hairstylist)<br />
14. Relocated to new place due to work, and traveled extensively on a monthly basis<br />
15. Revived my blogs and working on NEW directions and blood for my writing (yes, writing rather than blogging alone)<br />
16. Reconnected with my books (I am loving the relationship...it was like before)<br />
17. Learnt more on tolerances and making time for loved ones<br />
18. Taken business class flight (probably no biggie to some, but how it happened was an amazing story which I will tell in my blog soon)<br />
19. Enjoyed luxury on my travel, dining, etc (an upgrade?)<br />
20. Made changes in my direction of career<br />
21. Gone on an All Girls' trip - yeah it's a first!<br />
22. Opened up more to close friends (not an easy feat for me either)<br />
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<b><u>2013...I have NOT</u></b><br />
1. Followed my heart in some of things I should have pursued (I should learn to listen to myself sometimes to avoid those little mistakes)<br />
2. Fully Let Go of everything holding me back (as I've said, I am working on it...I will really try my best)<br />
3. Updated my blogs enough<br />
4. Read or write as much as before (and this saddens me)<br />
5. Improved on my packing or shopping skills (I wonder whether I need to? LOL)<br />
6. Bungee jump or go camping in the wilderness (Not really me, so I can pass)<br />
7. Travel the world (I will get to there someday)<br />
8. Spend enough time with my loved ones (yes, this is something I must work on more)<br />
9. Backed down on my stand and my beliefs (can't decide if this is a good or bad thing yet)<br />
10. Lost my own Identity (yes, I always remind myself)<br />
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I have laughed, cried, fell, got up and hurt badly in the course of a year, but it was all part and parcel of life.<br />
Old wounds have resurfaced, but I am not letting them take me down. I just need to deal with them.<br />
It is not easy, but life is a journey in itself and I am still learning to take in things one day at a time.<br />
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The world is full of opportunities, and all we need to have is FAITH.<br />
I have so much to say that I can't finish them all in one post, but here's to a rather roller coaster ride of a year in 2013...it has been GOOD, but looking forward to MORE in 2014~<br />
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Goodbye 2013, I have learnt from you....and thank you<br />
Hello 2014....Welcome and looking forward to unwrapping you part by part~ :-)<br />
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<br />Christina Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11812903022397709758noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2003989914151165948.post-59081725802116129992013-12-27T01:20:00.000-08:002013-12-27T01:20:14.329-08:00Christmas isn't Christmas<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Christmas isn't Christmas </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Till it happens in your heart.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Somewhere deep inside you </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Is where Christmas really starts.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">So give your heart to Jesus, </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">You'll discover when you do</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">That it's Christmas, </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Really Christmas for you</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Jesus brings warmth like a winter fire,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">A light like a candle's glow.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">He's waiting now to come inside</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">As He did so long ago.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Jesus brings gifts of truth and life</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">And makes them bloom and grow.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">So welcome Him with a song of joy</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">And when He comes you'll know.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">That Christmas isn't Christmas </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Till it happens in your heart.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Somewhere deep inside you</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Is where Christmas really starts.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">So give your heart to Jesus, </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">You'll discover when you do</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">That it's Christmas, </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Really Christmas for you.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Christmas really Christmas,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Christmas really Christmas for you.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"><b><i>(One of the MOST BEAUTIFUL CHRISTMAS songs)</i></b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span>Christina Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11812903022397709758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2003989914151165948.post-85766523469913328972013-12-27T01:17:00.000-08:002013-12-27T01:17:45.235-08:00Discovering Christmas every year<b><i>Christmas isn't Christmas (Till it happens in your heart)</i></b> is one of the most beautiful spiritual Christmas which brings a deeper meaning to this wonderful festive season adorned with images of falling snow, boughs of holly, candy canes, Christmas trees, stacks of presents, giant stockings and all the glittering lights.<br />
Often we have been so occupied by the preparations for the festive occasion - shopping, cooking, planning for the gathering/vacation, decorating the house, sending out invitations and selecting nothing but the best attires for church mass/services that we have probably overlooked the most important preparation of all; the spiritual part, which is also what Christmas really is all about.<br />
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It is hard not to get carried away with the flamboyant messages sent by the commercial department and the media which makes Christmas such an exciting time of the year, thus attracting even the non-Christians/believers to join in the festive atmosphere as gift exchanges at work or among friends/co-workers/families slowly made its way into majority of the world population. Garlands of tinsels and lights, colorful streamers with sparkly elements and holly crepes are hung across the streets, shopping malls and houses, lending that touch of the Christmas ambiance all over the place.<br />
Then there is the presents hunting where everyone is busy planning and shopping for that perfect gift for their loved ones, to be put under the Christmas tree or to be handed over to their friends during a Christmas party. Everyone is determined to make this the most joyous occasion ever; and to look their best and of course, the fact that it is towards the year end which coincides with the holidays season does contribute to all the high spirits in the air during this time of the year.<br />
It no longer matters that Christmas is truly a religious festival as all everyone wants to do is to have a reason to celebrate; and the season of giving turned to be the right time to call for a celebration.<br />
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Being a born Catholic, Christmas has and always will be a religious festival to me as we celebrate the religious meaning of this season above all the gifts giving, parties and gatherings. While we do enjoy the excitement of decorating our humble homes and wrapping those gifts for our loved ones, we do these all while remembering the reason for Christmas. Well, at least, I do.<br />
December is always the favorite time of the year for me (followed by January), and of course, it being the year end and holiday season was definitely good reason enough to enjoy this last month of the calendar year.<br />
Besides all that, I seek the comfort and blessings of Christmas during this season, and begin my journey of spiritual and mental preparation for the magical occasion.<br />
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Advent marks the period before Christmas which is where we prepare ourselves for the nativity (coming) of Jesus Christ. To me, it is a time of reflection, prayers and seeking the understanding within ourselves and the religion prior to the grand celebration or welcoming our Lord.<br />
It doesn't make anyone a saint nor being extremely holy in that context when we prepare ourselves for Christmas, but it is an important stage for us to truly be involved in the celebration through the right frame of mind.<br />
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As a child, I have known that Christmas is the birth of Jesus Christ, the son of God. We celebrate that He is born to us, and He is known as Our Saviour, who came to save and free us from sins. Then we celebrate with our families; attending midnight mass at the local parish (church), enjoying family meals and opening our Christmas presents. We sing Christmas carols, and my dad and grandmother would tell me that we must thank God for giving us His Only Son, Jesus Christ. Baby Jesus is born on Christmas Day, and He is the Son of God.<br />
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While this is truly the main notion of Christmas as a celebration, as I grow older, I started seeing Christmas a little differently year by year. Oh yes, I realized that I started to want to know more about Christmas beneath all that pretty decorations and messages on the surface for I want to understand and be truly involved in celebrating the joy of Christmas. It is after all, the birth of Our Lord and it is already a joyous and jubilant season to begin with.<br />
I began to understand through the lyrics of the Christmas songs, the readings from the Bible and from the priests where I attend masses and I start to connect the points again and again, in a different manner every single year.<br />
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It turned out that Christmas was different in my own eyes each year, as I appreciate the gifts from above and all the things that were happening around me; I perceived as blessings. It is unique, really, though not fully explainable in words, but there is just something magical about the season.<br />
It is not about all that fancy stuffs we have around the trees, nor on our doors/houses, nor our presents lists, but much more deeper fulfillment from within the heart.<br />
I felt as though Jesus lives in me; and I could hear myself singing of his glory with a louder echoing sound back to my own ears. I felt humbled before the Son of God, who had died for us, and was our King, but yet close enough to be in our hearts.<br />
There should not be fear, but rather, love to invite Him into our hearts.<br />
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<b><u>This Year's Christmas - Highlight (A Special Moment)</u></b><br />
The highlight of this year's Christmas was the magical sight orchestrated by the local church which I attended the midnight mass with my family. Shortly after the grand entrance and as we were singing our Glory to God, the altar server boys rang the short handled bells in their hands as we were standing.<br />
The priests came forward (as in the welcoming the Blessed Sacrament) and they were accepting a small figure from a couple who came up to the bottom of the altar.<br />
As the priest held the clay figure up high, everyone could see that it was the figure of the Baby Jesus.<br />
What happened next somehow pulled a magical string in my heart, as I watched in awe and a stirring emotion as the priests, still holding the baby high and walked towards the cradle by the stable set up by the side of the altar. As they placed baby Jesus at his crib, the stable was instantly lighted up and the priests knelt/bowed before the baby Jesus.<br />
I could not help the tiny tears forming at the corner of my eyes, as I felt warmth and a stirring feeling within my heart as I witnessed the whole episode and needless to say, I was singing to the hymn with full adoration.<br />
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It was truly one of the most beautiful moments I have ever seen, and the feeling, oh, the feeling was just inexplicable but I would say I was touched by the Holy Spirit just then?<br />
It was a good feeling; not a bad one, definitely, and one that makes me go warm and comforted - as though I felt safe and loved. It is not a feeling easily told with words, and perhaps the best word to describe it is - Magical?<br />
It struck me that the Son of God did not come to us as a King, cloaked in his finest with loud trumpets blowing and media waiting for his arrival. Rather, he was humbly born in a stable and in hiding with his father and mother, and surrounded by hay. Not the best conditions to be born, and given the circumstances of his time, it would appear to be worse than what was depicted today. There could be animals surrounding him, constantly coming in to take a peek at the newborn, or there could be even animal wastes where he laid.<br />
A picture that many of us would not think of to place our newborns, but this was the Son of God and God sent us this message through His birth that He was like us, born as man.<br />
Our King humbled himself and perhaps even lower than most of us privileged beings in this modern day, and He came to take away our sins and sufferings. He suffered to make our lives better.<br />
He was indeed, a King in all our hearts.<br />
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I love the bits and pieces of Christmas; from the giving of gifts to the family reunion and the festive food. Giving of gifts did not signify extravagant or expensive items, but it should rather come from the heart.<br />
<b><i>A gift that comes from the heart can be felt with the heart in return ~ Me</i></b><br />
There are many ways you could give a gift to someone; for instance, even a simple hug or smile or even a little penny could just do the trick. Just remind yourself that Christmas's biggest gift was from up above, and it doesn't come with riches and luxury, but rather, baby Jesus was born in a humble stable which was probably not the most desirable place with the shabby conditions back then during that era. Given that image, He was still our Best GIFT ever for it was a gift of salvation and LOVE.<br />
Giving is not just about physical gifts; for that is not Christmas is truly about.<br />
<b><i>Gifts from within the heart are far worth more than gifts off the shelves. </i></b><br />
Forgiving others, is another message we get from Christmas for it is all about giving ourselves a break and giving others a second chance. It is not an easy thing to do (I am still learning to), but it will happen if we pray and ask God for guidance, and someday, we could find peace in forgiveness.<br />
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Christmas truly isn't Christmas until it happens in your heart, and you feel it in your heart.<br />
It did, in my heart, this year, as I see yet another beautiful side of Christmas. I may have already known all the facts and history of Christmas but that does not mean, I will not experience Christmas from a different perspective each year.<br />
A simple fact of celebrating the birth of Jesus could turn to be a different discovery for me each and every year, and I am glad that I could feel Christmas in my heart.<br />
Christmas is truly different when felt with the heart.....it is no longer the dazzling lights or tinkling tinsels....but the magical tears and warmth in the heart.<br />
Is Christmas truly Christmas for you?<br />
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I pray you too, start feeling Christmas and discover Christmas like I do, every year....<br />
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Wishing you and a your family a warm, blessed and magical Christmas!~<br />
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<br />Christina Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11812903022397709758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2003989914151165948.post-35899419657589408702013-12-13T00:23:00.002-08:002013-12-13T00:23:32.717-08:00Last Christmas<a href="http://picturepush.com/public/13917834"><img alt="Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing" border="0" src="http://www1.picturepush.com/photo/a/13917834/640/13917834.jpg" /></a><br />
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As we are only a fortnight away from Christmas, I was reminded of a little treat I had during my last Christmas and also how I enjoyed my celebration during the festive season with my loved ones last year.<br />
(I was unable to post this on my blog last year as it was still heavily infected at that time)<br />
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I love Christmas, which is no secret that I have shared repeatedly on my blog. Who doesn't anyway? While Christmas was of religious beginnings as it celebrates the birth of our saviour; our Lord Jesus Christ, the celebrations have since extended to even the non-believers due to the jovial nature and extent of the decorations and spirits which just set everyone off in the celebratory mood. It is interesting to see how non-believers are taking the celebrations to such serious lengths that I wonder if they are aware they are celebrating the birth of Jesus and that it would seem like they are embracing our beliefs at the same time. There is no problem at all, as it is always at everyone's liberty to adopt their own beliefs in religion and after all, celebration is meant to lift spirits in the high. Besides, the more the merrier.<br />
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Back to my Christmas, I love reminiscing on the celebration the year ahead and then look forward to the upcoming plan for this year's Christmas. I love the memories, and also the sentiments attached to that particular point of time.<br />
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I remembered I was happy to welcome my hubby back from his business trip from the States after being away for almost a month. It was indeed a lovely pre-Christmas gift, and to top that, my brother presented us with two complimentary tickets to watch a musical in Sunway Lagoon. I did need that at that time, as I remembered how I was burdened with the stress from work. It had also been a long time since I have been to any such event, and boy, do I love musicals, especially when it had to do with one of my favorite childhood fairytale story - Beauty and the Beast.<br />
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Three days before Christmas, and I looked forward to an early treat and a romantic evening with my hubby (although we have our evening dates all the time). Still, I always liked to make things special and to be in that lovely mood for occasions like these. Perhaps I just love the feeling that just makes me feel good and given my mental state from work, it was just right<br />
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It was not the best musical I have watched yet, but it was good enough as I enjoyed the time and the evening with music and animated dances.<br />
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(I have not been surprised with anymore ticket treats this year :-P )<br />
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Christmas is always such a magical season and filled with hope and miracles.<br />
I love the colors of Christmas and am looking forward, while preparing myself spiritually for the festivities.<br />
It is after all, a religious festival which holds a dear meaning to all Christians, Catholics and believers for our Lord is born.<br />
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The magic of Christmas lies not in the colorful wreaths, boughs of hollies, snow, the tinsels, mistletoes, stockings or even the presents under the Christmas tree, but rather in the whole meaning of the birth of the Son of God.<br />
It is a time of joy and forgiveness, as loved ones reunite with each other to rekindle that spark of bond when they are all busy with their lives. As with many festivals, Christmas is a season for giving and forgiving (pun intended) which is never an easy feat for many.<br />
It is a time to remember the ties and the love shown to us by God, and also by our loved ones.<br />
It is not just purely for celebration but rather for many to understand the true meaning of love, kindness, peace and relationships.<br />
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Miracles will then just happen naturally; not from the skies but sometimes, it comes from our hearts and that magic in our hands as we hold strong to our faith and beliefs.<br />
Let us work that magic to spread peace, love and joy....as we prepare ourselves for a merry little Christmas in two weeks....<br />
<br />Christina Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11812903022397709758noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2003989914151165948.post-36258314462487934502013-12-12T21:58:00.001-08:002013-12-12T21:58:23.113-08:00Great Expectations<b><i>"With great power comes great responsibility"</i></b><br />
The phrase was constantly quoted and famously used to address many different situations; but more commonly in careers and personal development.<br />
<br />
For many, a promotion at work or advancement in career means an incremental point in one's authority, loosely translated as the increase in power. This will lead to the many ambitious takes in strengthening one's position and by assuming their responsibilities; perhaps in the process, rushing with their attempts to put on many hats simultaneously. It is not surprising what a promotion could do to boost one's ego and pride as they guard that achievement to their heart and soul; looking forward to a better future as they pile on their goals to achieve more. They are proud, with that little milestone of success in their career path and even in life and it sets that positivity and encouragement to move one to do more to achieve further successes.<br />
It is a norm; particularly among high achievers and the more they have, the more they want. They will stop at nothing to work hard towards their goal to achieve the success they have defined or mapped all in their minds. It is nothing negative; as long as in the process, one does not turn destructive or lose themselves in striving towards their aim.<br />
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For myself, I am too like that, as I love successes (well, who doesn't?) and I have set myself many goals ever since I was a little girl; pushing myself forward with every step to outdo myself. While many think that I can be hard on myself, and that my parents were probably behind the pressure I put on myself, it is not the case as I am blessed with great and understanding parents who never told me what I should or not do. It was within my liberty and I was given my own space for development and to pursue my own dreams. I was never forced into any stereotyped career choices because 'my parents told me to' or because 'it was good to me'.<br />
For that, I am truly thankful for their support and encouragement for they told me that I could be whoever I want to be; as long as it makes me happy. In fact, when I was working hard towards my goals, my parents would even advise me to take a break and not to be too hard on myself. It was just me; I always wanted to push myself a little further and I wanted more successes for my own sake.<br />
Perhaps it was due to this nature that I had often set high expectations for myself, and also in many things that I do or encounter along my life journey.<br />
<br />
I had looked forward to many things in life; that there were times it seemed like I was being rather idealistic. But that would be a fast judgment to pass on me; as I can be realistic when it comes to life, though I would not deny myself harboring many great expectations in my life encounters. Perhaps I have had great opportunities working and meeting many great people and things in my life, that I could set their standards as benchmarks. Yet at the same time, I had reminded myself of the fairness and diversity in the people around the world and that no two people are the same. I have encountered enlightenment from these great inspirations but I have also been through major disappointments which I took as part of my life lessons.<br />
<br />
I had made a decision when I was presented with a great opportunity and it seemed surreal of a materialization. Perhaps it was my own great expectations that it later turned out to be a great letdown as well, as I was led through a valley of ignorance and empty promises by people who called themselves leaders. I could not fathom how leadership could sank to such standards, and it beats me to how they made it to their position in the first place. You see, to me, a leader is not just a word or a standard term used to refer to people holding authority to me. I have my own definition of leadership; which does not stray that far away from the dictionary's definition. The general definition holds in that the leader should be leading and the guide but sadly, I have met people who thinks that being a leader means they are not to do anything at all but leave it all to others for it was far beneath their standards.<br />
Perhaps they are not wrong; they were probably misled by their earlier predecessors themselves to have formed this idea of leadership.<br />
<br />
I have been told that great expectations would usually lead to letdowns, and that once in a while, I should not set such high expectations. Maybe it is not fair to set high expectations to rate others, but for myself, I do want to aim and set to achieve that end goal I have in my mind; of course, in a realistic manner.<br />
Things have fell short of my expectations and while I am learning to cope and picking up a lesson or two along the way, I have also asked myself questions and also immersed in thoughts to make a decision.<br />
It may not turn out to meet my expectations, but I could definitely do something about rather than just resigning myself to an excuse that it is fated. We can control our destiny; although God does have His plans for us but our minds are there for a reason.<br />
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It is a trying time; and I believe that things all happen for a reason. While I am trying to build my perspectives around myself and deciphering my own decisions; wondering whether I have made the right or wrong decision and taking in the perspectives, I do not blame anyone or even myself when things do not go my way. Perhaps it was maturity. but when things go wrong, that is where we learn what is right.<br />
Setting expectations is not a bad thing; in fact, it made me look at the world in different perspectives for there are many reasons worth exploring and life has so much more to offer.<br />
A disappointment is only for a moment, but if I were to stay in that condition, I would have a disappointment out of myself, don't you think?<br />
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I will learn, pick it up and walk again, and forming more great expectations along the way....<br />
<br />
My say?<br />
<b><i>With great expectations, come more great accomplishments ~ Christy</i></b><br />
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<br />Christina Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11812903022397709758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2003989914151165948.post-18723843336020240012013-12-12T20:51:00.001-08:002013-12-12T20:51:43.948-08:00A Tale of Two CitiesI am a hybrid.<br />
Yes, a hybrid who belongs to two different places or origins; one who could survive in both environments.<br />
<br />
It was a unique term concocted by myself and a friend who was in the same predicament.<br />
In fact, it was far worse for his situation where he had been moving from one home to another over the years since he was born and he had grown so accustomed to his nomad life that he no longer felt it was out of the ordinary. Only problem, he could not define or pinpoint that exact place he would call his home; or the place of his origins, as he had told me in one of our conversations. Of course, many would laugh at this and would hardly call this a predicament for the place of birth would be naturally referred to one's home. However, is that truly the accurate perception of home? What if the birth place was just where the labor took place while the mother happened to be in that place at that time of delivery? The child would grow up elsewhere, does the birth place still constitute the root of one's origins?<br />
It all depends on individual perception as everyone tends to have their own stand on definition, and there is no right or wrong, for I remembered a saying that goes, <b><i>"A home is the place close to the heart"</i></b><br />
Therefore, any place which one regards fondly of could be where they called home. It is a place they longed to be and return to; a place filled with nostalgia and special sentiments that only the person would know of.<br />
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For myself, being termed as a hybrid was also because of a confusion spurned by people around me; especially those who had just gotten to know me. They could never remember where I truly belong, and just usually went with their own assumptions, which frankly, I do not attempt to correct nor even feel the least offended of being misunderstood. In fact, there is no misunderstanding or mistake for even I myself could not distinguish my homes from one another. You see, I was born in one state, raised in another, then returned to work and work brought me back and forth between these two states. I have families in both states; and frankly, both are equally as dear to my hearts and I do not ever want to decide on just calling one home. I am proud of having both homes; and that unique sense of familiarity. Furthermore, it was not only these two states which ran in my bloodstream as there is another state which held a slight spot, but I would hardly call it home as I had never been raised nor born in that state.<br />
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Being a hybrid is not a derogatory matter; rather it is a label I carry proudly for being able to call two homes to my name. I am definitely of a city breed as both states are cities; and I have been living in both cities for years now. Traveling back and forth between these states have slowly crept into my lifestyle and I have grown so used to it. It is funny how I tend to miss one state when I am in the other; though I long to stay in the state (or both states). Perhaps this is a case of mixed identities?<br />
While one is a complex metropolitan city, the other is a fast growing city in its developments and to me, that is having the best of both worlds and that was probably the main reason I would never feel out of place in either state. (Though of course, in terms of the shopping malls, the metropolitan city definitely has the upper hand).<br />
<br />
I have gotten used to the smaller city state; with the smaller geographical area and also the convenience of driving around. The smaller yet closer knit community was another plus point, and perhaps there was a better level of safety in this state as well which makes me feel less worried (though not fully off guard). Don't get me wrong, having grown up in a complex city, safety was never a thing to be regarded lightly and it always pays to be paranoid as the saying "Better be safe than sorry" is all that we have been taught in a city where crime rates are constantly on the rise daily. Working in the state was perhaps less hectic, due to the working attitude and warmth of the locals; not to mention the lesser traffic flow/congestion during the peak hours. Commuting around the state may not be convenient with public transport, and one may need to own their own vehicle but still, traffic was never a major issue (though there was a spike in the traffic recently, and especially during the holidays due to the popularity of the state as a major tourism state in the world - not only Malaysia and Asia).<br />
<br />
Therefore, the traffic was the first thing which I jumped at on my recent return to my metropolitan city home for my latest job. While I was happy to be able to return to my loved ones, I quickly realized that my lifestyle and daily routine was about to take on a change. Long hours at work were inevitable, and I was used to it so it was not really an issue. My day starts early and ends late, and most of the time I am dead tired by the time I reached home. The main issue lies in the traffic. One would think that leaving the office long after office hours would mean lesser traffic but no, I remembered how I was once stuck in traffic jam on my way home even though it was already midnight. It was frustrating, especially when I only had a few hours left to sleep before I had to wake up again for work and while I am usually a patient person, that was perhaps just intolerable and unacceptable. Well, I can't complain much, since I am after all, based in a city with ever growing population. It was always about the traffic, then the other major issue was the safety. I read with horror at the sickening crimes taking place almost every other day that makes me sick to the guts. I wonder whether there is still humanity left in the world sometimes. I do have the privilege to travel back to the other home on weekends, and it was like a change from the hustle bustle of the highly complex city. Not that the other city is not bustling, but perhaps it was more homely, due to its smaller geographical area.<br />
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Despite the similarities yet stark differences shared by both cities, I still find them dear to my heart as I call them my homes and I smile in agreement when people tell me how blessed I am to be able to call two homes to my name.<br />
I couldn't agree more, after all, that makes it all the more unique, don't you think?<br />
<br />
I am a Hybrid....and I am proud of it :-)<br />
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<br />Christina Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11812903022397709758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2003989914151165948.post-78467313279391697782013-11-20T15:57:00.000-08:002013-11-20T16:02:41.867-08:00Like the Old TimesSo I did it; last night, I took a book and read. I just sat in my bed and turned the pages; taking in the story by the chapter and I was just so transfixed on the words that it felt like I was in the characters' world and not my own. I did not look up nor did I glance at my phone. I laughed at the crude lines in the story, and it was a good laugh as I delight in those light-hearted moments. Then I cried; oh yes, my tears fell when the protagonist was broken hearted and my heart went out to her. My heart swooned then it felt like it sank to the bottom at the lowest point of the protagonist's emotion. My heart went in a cycle of ups and downs as it trailed the storyline; probably better than any cardiovascular exercise. But in all, I just went on reading and reading; and it was not long before I realized, I had done the unspeakable - I had finished the entire book in an hour and a half or probably two! <br />
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It's not like I've never done it before, oh yes, I am a master in my reading speed; never mind the thickness of the book. I just get immersed so much that I no longer feel the world around me but the world where I am falling into in the leaves of the pages. I used to read books so quickly, that I run out of reading materials and had to re-read them again. (My dad told me he'd run out of money to keep getting me new books, with reading speed like mine - obviously, that was a joke). <br />
<br />
So yeah, I have done it again, but it was such a long time ago that I can't even recall when was the last time I finished reading a book that soon. I have read many great books, definitely, and they do keep me awake with the pages turning and turning but, it has been such a long time that I have let myself get carried away by reading. It is not about the book alone; but rather, the comfort of reading which enveloped me as I was curled up on my bed that it just kept me going until the end of the book in what started off as an initial brief bedtime reading before I drift to sleep. <br />
You see, I was down with a cold and it was bad; been bugging me for the past three days after I got back from my short trip (probably infected by my traveling company). I felt tired half the time, and I am sure you know about the cold symptoms and them cold medicine which just makes me feel so drowsy that I just want to hit the softness of the feathered pillows at every chance I get. As it so happens, I woke up after a short nap and after taking my dinner and medication, I picked up my book (it's an old book which I intend to re-read) and started reading. I read, read, and I read.... <br />
It felt like the old times, really, when I was just a little girl; you could always (almost all the time) find my nose buried in a book. I was never without a book; and it is usually a pretty thick one too. I just love books that much. In fact, nothing excites me more than given the time/free pass to read my books and I could finish a book easily in an hour or two. Of course, as I grew older, the time span to finish a book somehow just grew exponentially due to other commitments such as assignments/projects due for submission, work, and social life. In fact, as I am progressing more into my career, I could hardly find time to pick up a book, let alone read (I don't even have much time to sleep actually) and that has even begun to bother me, but that will be another topic. So there, I can't believe I still had it in me that I could still read like I was only three or five...and it delights me so much that I smiled. Not just a tiny smile that formed, but a satisfied wide grin and I silently pat myself on the head. It feels good, like time just stood still in my reading world, and I am so amazed that the smile just came from the heart. It felt like an achievement....like the old times....perhaps the age didn't matter, after all? <br />
<br />
Alright, now that's a bit too much to hope for....back to reality... <br />
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<br />Christina Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11812903022397709758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2003989914151165948.post-60209737749323006162013-11-12T15:51:00.000-08:002013-11-12T15:51:00.848-08:00Jet Set ReadyPassport - Checked <br />
E-tickets? Checked <br />
Sunblock - Lots of it <br />
Sunglasses - Checked <br />
Camera - Checked <br />
Hat/Cap - Checked <br />
Bag - Checked <br />
Medicine - Checked <br />
Chargers/Adapter - Checked <br />
Clothes (light clothing) - Checked <br />
Book for reading - Checked <br />
Umbrella - To pack in <br />
Comfortable shoes and slippers - To pack soon <br />
<br />
Looks like I am ready to go! :-) <br />
Can you guess where I will be heading to? <br />
I am looking forward to this much-needed though short break! <br />
<br />Christina Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11812903022397709758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2003989914151165948.post-66939325681277922722013-10-28T06:38:00.001-07:002013-10-28T06:38:18.438-07:00Defying the Laws of HumanityIt is that time when questions are starting to head directly at that point above the bridge of your nose when you have passed that particular mark of entering the world of marriage.<br />
Typically the grace period is granted by merciful in laws and elders for a few months and maybe a year (if you are really really fortunate) where the couple is left alone understandably to enjoy the honeymoon mood and the intimacy of the early years of their marriage.<br />
Not for long, as the curiosity and the overly concerned people surrounding the couple's lives form this invisible circle around them; throwing question one after another at the two people and the big question, "When are you planning to conceive?"<br />
<br />
No offense, but what, is this any business of anyone except the couple, really?<br />
<br />
Perhaps there is a hint of exasperation and annoyance in my above statement as I am currently a victim of harassment on the topic of childbearing.<br />
Talks of prime childbearing age, and how children would be a delightful addition to our lives, not to mention the growing up of the child versus our aging are just things that I have grown so familiar to as it was constantly preached to me by various non-medical experts on the matter; or 'concerned' parties as you may say. I am not swearing any of them off, nor am I deliberately writing a post to criticize people for advising me to have a child as this is not an unusual situation and I am definitely not the only one in the world who has faced this situation before. I have indeed heard of worse pestering by the society, family and relatives on this subject of productivity and heaven forbid if they have been married for quite a number of years; i.e: 3 years and above.<br />
It is like this taboo, or an unspoken rule that a couple is to obey to conceive and start a family within one or two years of marriage to be considered as normal or even acceptable by the standards of the society. Otherwise, they will be shunned or even perceived as medically unfit due to their non parental status while the rest of the world are already busy showing off their children.<br />
While I may sound frustrated with these endless questions (and I know they will just keep on coming, people just don't get it - it's easier for me to take up nuclear or rocket science, honestly), I have started looking into this topic from various perspectives; from the aspects of childbearing to the communication and expectations of the society. It is a myriad of questions and answers; and one like most things in the world - where there is no definite wrong or right. It is more of a retrospective outlook from my own eyes to zoom into the whole topic from the common (yet uncommon) angle. <br />
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It is astonishing for myself to come to the realization that I have written about this topic more than once - I am not sure whether it has really bothered me more than I really thought it would but I would say that it has opened up a a few different perspectives this round.<br />
For instance, what defines the childbearing age? Is it purely by the demands of the biological clock or the pressure from the society? (Of course the biological clock is also subject to the medical advisory of the best recommended age for conception due to health reasons).<br />
Based on the medical experts' recommendations, the ideal childbearing age would be between 18-35 for women where this is the period of time when women are said to be at the prime of their health to bear a child. That did not mean that women above 35 should not have children; but based on studies and data collection, it appears that women who are pregnant or conceives after the range of the recommended ages are more likely to face the risks of pregnancy or birth implications.<br />
Logically, this would be one of the more acceptable reasoning behind those anxiety surrounding parents when it comes to questioning the family planning the couple probably had.<br />
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Tagging along the above, the prime age for the childbearing does not only relate to the smooth delivery or birth process but also the ages when the parents are deemed fit to care for and to share in the growing up process of the child.<br />
We are often encouraged to marry at a younger age and have kids as soon as possible so that when we are not too old when our kids are growing up. We would also be around when our kids are getting married or start their own families in the future. It is like this telescopic view into the future to ensure that continuity of life and that there is no disconnection in between. True enough, the future generation would love to have their parents around and I am sure we would love to live to see our next generation.<br />
Another rationale behind the need to have children at that prime age so that the age gap between the parent and the child would not differ on a large scale.<br />
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Fair enough, the above are probably the main reasons we are surrounded by the endless chatters and concerns showered by all the loved ones around us. Age, ability to care for and the livelihood of the family to stay together are just the main reasons to name a few.<br />
<br />
Putting aside the concerns on the age and medical reasons, how about the psychological aspect of childbearing and family planning? As in mental preparation? Is the couple ready mentally and physically to have a child?<br />
Most would answer, "Why not? Everyone does it!" as opposed to, "Maybe not, I still need some time"<br />
The thing is, having a child is not as simple as just going through an intercourse to produce a baby and then duty done, to shut those wagging tongues around them.<br />
Having a kid is a responsibility; it should be viewed as one important task on hand to care for, nurture and educate a future contributor to the nation.<br />
Due to the biological factors, sometimes couples are just hurrying or even racing against the ticking clock and to avoid the incessant nagging to have a child. Perhaps it was for the sake of getting it over with? They may not even be ready to face the possibility of welcoming a new member into the family; or the thoughts of what awaits them upon the arrival of the child. Everything would just go with the flow; baby born, someone takes care of the child, husband and wife go back to work, they see and snap photos of the child on weekends to be posted on social networking sites and then child grows up, etc. Simple, right? How difficult can that be?<br />
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They could still go on vacations with each other and maybe with the child or they would even love to enjoy activities which help them to relax and unwind after their stressful time at work. Come business trip, they hand the child over to their parents (if they are around) or somehow find a babysitter or daycare to help them care for the child in their absence.<br />
It all looked pretty normal and socially acceptable to them; simply because, that is how everyone has been doing it all this time.<br />
I am not here to say whether it is wrong or right, for each situation calls for a unique perspective and again, I am not about to judge others' on their lifestyles.<br />
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To me, I just wonder, as I slip myself into the child's shoes, just how much do I get to see my parents each day? How much do they really care about me? Is their work or money more important than me?<br />
I don't think my parents love me that much, if work clearly takes up so much of their time.<br />
Not every child may think like this, and do not ever expect the child to understand that the reason you are working so hard to earn money is to provide for a better living . They will not understand at that age.<br />
I was one of those fortunate kids who had a mother who cared for me, and I had my mum to tend to me upon my return from school each day. She was no working mum, but she was not inferior to other mothers in any way. In fact, I felt my mum worked harder than the mums who held office jobs.<br />
<br />Caring for a child is a responsibility that ought to be taken up by the people who have decided to brought the child into the world. It is not a task to complete but rather that part of life to live and breathe in. Mental preparation is important to truly welcome that new addition to your lives (not just family) and that the child will be a part of you from then on.<br />
It is an important thing to remember and yet so easily overlooked.<br />
Also, once you have entered into that mental preparation stage, do not forget about the finances. Nothing is free in this world anyway.<br />
<br />
I look around me these days and I noticed that almost everyone around me is having a baby; a newborn, celebrating their first birthday/100 days, first walk/tooth, first word, and the list just goes on and on. Photos on social media sites; and don't mind me saying, it is like a competition out there or just a major invisible shout out, "Hey, LOOK at my baby!!!"<br />
This whole phenomenon screams immense peer pressure, but somehow my hubby and I remain unnerved by it while we are continuously badgered with the questions, "When's your turn?" "Are you planning for one soon?"<br />
It did not help that we explained our crazy and busy work/daily routines where we barely had times for ourselves, let alone each other and then on how we have not really planned or thought about it.<br />
Furthermore, we wanted to just let it be; come what may.<br />
Oh no, that was not acceptable as we were just greeted with frowns and even words like, "Crazy"<br />
<br />
It is just unfathomable that we would like to have kids the natural way and everyone thought we are just holding it back or doing something to prevent that from happening. I guess it is just absurd and I did not even want to waste explaining as people who know me would know me best and those who would want to judge me, well, that's entirely their mind and I cannot stop that, as long as I did nothing against my conscience and my religion.<br />
(My religion does not encourage any artificial planning or birth control)<br />
<br />
I do not need to explain to anyone regarding my childbearing process as it is most important to reach the mutual understanding with my husband. While it is true that having a child is a wonderful thing, it is not entirely up to us mortals to decide on that as I leave things to Him who dwells above.<br />
I have had friends who had gone through the same traumatizing experience of being hammered mercilessly with questions and remarks on fertility that they were left so embarrassed and humiliated. It is just so insensitive of some people (never mind relatives or friends) who just went a little overboard with their concerns.<br />
<br />
The thought of letting it be occurred to me, and together with my husband, we are both fine with the idea of either having or without children. It is just something we just want it to come naturally and not to be forced or succumbed to due to pressure.<br />
Of course, due to my ambitious and achievement focused nature, there were times when I just felt I was not ready for children and sometimes I do wonder too, will I ever be ready? Or maybe I just do not want children?<br />
It does sounds wrong, doesn't it? As the society says, every woman who gets married must bear a child or they are viewed as social outcasts. Never mind the modern age we are living in, it is a wonder and perhaps a blessing that women who do not bear children are no longer divorced or neglected in place of a new wife/concubine who would be brought into the family for the sake of childbearing purpose.<br />
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At the same time, I could not help but wonder, perhaps the biggest reason for all the hoo ha about childbearing is not about just having kids as part of the fulfilment of the marriage covenant, but the most important of all, is the continuity of the human race?<br />
It is perhaps the most obvious of all; how else do we ensure that there will still be men and women in the future and that there is a next generation?<br />
Childbearing is indeed important to ensure the continuity of the human race and not having children seems to be an act of defying this ground rule of humanity and productivity and it is no wonder it is constantly being frowned upon.<br />
After all, we were once children before this? Had my parents not want children at that time, would there be me today?<br />
It is a thought to ponder upon, but again, not to be rushed or decided in a haste...but for the sake of humanity?<br />Now, is that a form of pressure or mental preparation? Go figure....Christina Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11812903022397709758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2003989914151165948.post-57741466589017246432012-07-10T20:16:00.000-07:002012-07-10T20:20:00.903-07:00I Want to Win an Awesome Tropical Island Holiday with Cikipedia!<span style="color: #555555; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px;"> </span><a href="http://cikipedia.com/cikipedias-healthy-getaway-weekend-pangkor-laut-resort-3days-2nights-holiday" style="border: 0px; color: #030387; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">I’m participating in Cikipedia’s Healthy Getaway Weekend!</a>
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My Daily or Weekly Workout Routine:<br />
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<i><b>I workout every part of my body:</b></i><br />
<i><b>1. Brain/Head - What to blog?</b></i><br />
<i><b>2. Face/Stomach - Laugh at funny posts to relax muscles </b></i><br />
<i><b>3. Shoulder/Hands - Typing/stretching every few 30 minutes</b></i><br />
<i><b>4. Lower Body/Cardiovascular- Retail therapy around the entire mall (think, decide and then cringe with regret over impulse buys)</b></i><br />
<i><b>5. Emotion - Financial planning and saving for a vacation!</b></i><br />
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Yeah, I consider that workout and seriously it takes a lot more muscle in the body than one can imagine and I am sure all ladies agree that they burn more calories than running to the gym:-P<br />
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It's a fun contest, and made me realize I ought to consider more to my workout routine; maybe like picking up Yoga at a luxurious resort..hehe!
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Anyway, trying my luck here, thanks to Cikipedia and YTL for this enticing contest offer :-)<br />
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<br />Christina Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11812903022397709758noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2003989914151165948.post-56382414396581641412012-05-31T03:43:00.000-07:002012-05-31T03:43:59.366-07:00Barley - My favorite and a saverFor some reason, I was feeling a little light-headed again on Tuesday, and the weird thing is, I don't really feel that I am sick (not to that extent) and I suspect it was more of fatigue.<br />
However, I am not ready to take any more chances considering my last illness cost me three weeks of freedom and therefore, I decided to drown litres of water to cool my body down (the heatwave was really getting to most of us too!)<br />
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Then I made myself some barley...yeah, I can cook my own barley drink these days, so I am not that spoilt!<br />
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Looks good, although I left it to cook a little longer than I should, but I was busy fixing my phone :-P<br />
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<a href="http://picturepush.com/public/8378369"><img alt="Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing" border="0" src="http://www1.picturepush.com/photo/a/8378369/640/8378369.jpg" /></a><br />
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This drink is one of my personal favorites to drink on any day, but more so whenever I am feeling unwell or excess heat in the body (fever or sore throat) as this is one of my best bet for a natural life-saver and health booster.<br />
The best part is it is packed with fibre to keep me going when I had no appetite!<br />
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<a href="http://picturepush.com/public/8378374"><img alt="Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing" border="0" src="http://www1.picturepush.com/photo/a/8378374/640/8378374.jpg" /></a><br />
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I love chewing on the barley grains although lots of people would usually discard them after cooking as most of them do not like the grains but I am totally the opposite; as I am so into them.<br />
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I did feel better after a round of barley drink the next day, and a good thing.<br />
Good ol' barley is always the best remedy at the early stages and even when I am already sick; good to cool down fever and reduce the inflammation of a sore throat.<br />
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I am proud of myself*Christina Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11812903022397709758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2003989914151165948.post-33194687072324415412012-05-31T03:30:00.001-07:002012-05-31T03:30:53.194-07:00Expectations from marriageTwo years ago, I was floating on cloud nine when my guy proposed to me while on one of the most beautiful vacation overseas and then after dancing around in my dreams for a little bit, it was time to launch into planning mode to throw everything that I ever wanted/dreamt of as a little girl to realize that perfect wedding.<div>
The whole process took an entire year; and that was one year ago, I still couldn't believe that it is now behind me and today, I carry the title of a Mrs. and I am officially married to someone.</div>
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I have a husband now and even my posts on my blog are about 'us' instead of all me nowadays.</div>
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It's funny how things have taken a turn for a change; but of course, I see it as a good change and also, part of growing up. Entering a new phase of life means taking on new responsibilities and perspectives on life.</div>
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What used to be me and me alone now becomes 'us'.</div>
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To be honest, I have wrote about a lot of things about 'what happens after I do', settling into my married life and also my personal thoughts on being married and there are just so much more to write about that I have running through my mind since October last year. However, while we are enjoying our journey of being married, we also start to face certain expectations.</div>
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We have known each other for some time and therefore, we have skipped that part of settling and fitting in each other's life as we have gone through most of those in discussion and in dealing with each other during our courting period.</div>
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Therefore, I am not talking about expectations of each other; but rather I was surprised that there were other expectations coming from other sources; for instance our parents, families, relatives and even friends.</div>
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Don't get me wrong, I am not saying it in a negative way, but it just surprised me although I have been told by my friends and family earlier yet it still kind of struck me as funny yet amusing when I realized it.</div>
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If you are guessing about pregnancy, yes, you got it right.</div>
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I know it is a norm to be expecting the newly weds to have children; but I just didn't expect it to come instantly.</div>
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I was pursued with questions of "When are you planning to have a baby?", "Are you pregnant yet?", "Are you guys planning to have kids anytime soon/at all?", "Are you guys on family planning mode?" and a lot more of such nature even in the first month of my marriage!</div>
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I just find it a little all too rushed and the best part is, we are not even the ones who are in panic mode.</div>
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Some are telling us (the older aunties and uncles) that we ought to plan for one as soon as possible while young or else we could be old when the children grow up.</div>
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It is ironic that these people could be more anxious compared to us; people who have the potential to become parents, although I am assured of their concern and kindness. I do know that everyone means well.</div>
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Family planning is something that everyone is concerned about; I am sure after one enters the phase of marriage and while we can be hearing questions and friendly advices on the right way to plan for a baby and other worldly experiences from our elders, there are also times when the couple themselves need to decide for themselves whether to bring a new life into the world on their own will and not succumb to pressure.</div>
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I was told that this is only the tip of the iceberg and after that, more and more questions will come knocking on my door.</div>
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I have recently heard of friends who have gotten pregnant; actually, there are tons of them that it almost seemed like everyone around me is pregnant or were pregnant. I have even heard of two miscarriages from two of my close friends and my heart cries silently for my friends' pain over the loss.</div>
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I know that most people are enthusiastic about having a baby, and some of my friends even told me that the pregnancy came unexpectedly.</div>
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As for me, I am not sure when I will be joining the circle of expecting mothers or enter the realm of motherhood as it is not just up to us to make this decision but also something which lies in the power from above; to whom I am leaving our fate to.</div>
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This is usually the answer I give to concerned people who asked me about whether I am pregnant or not, after being married for a few months now; or half a year. </div>
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To us, having a baby may sound like an easy thing but there are just so many things to look forward to besides having that new member in the family. Financial stability, mental and physical maturity, our readiness to take on a new role, and also many other things. It is not just about following the majority or giving into peer pressure to have a child at the 'right' time/age.</div>
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The human issues versus our divine destiny is just usually the answer I give to concerned and anxious people around us; God will let us know when the right time is?:-)</div>
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Perhaps the time will come when I write in my blog about the joys of becoming a mother and how it is like to be expecting, or maybe the blog will fully revolve around the new member.</div>
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The time will come, I am sure, for all of us and if it is not meant to be, well, that is also something we should be prepared for.</div>
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When the day comes, I will definitely write more in my blog...and that time, don't ask me the next question, "When is the next one coming along?" </div>
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<br /></div>Christina Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11812903022397709758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2003989914151165948.post-51165426476275431342012-05-29T02:17:00.001-07:002012-05-29T02:17:49.901-07:00The day I was called by a headhunterHeadhunter is a term that I have heard for a while, and I was often amazed (and) impressed with the stories of people who have been contacted/located by them.<br />
(In case you are not familiar with the term, do not be horrified by the thought that the hunt is for one's physical head as this is just a literal way of saying that one is hunted by their reputation. A rather profound and widely acknowledged term used by recruitment agencies on the hunt for potential candidates for their position listing by their clients).<br />
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I have heard of them recruitment agencies and how they work, and the way they earn from their clients and also job seekers when their services are engaged are somewhat similar to that of a real estate property agent. Well, sort of. From what I have heard, they will need to extract at certain % from the company seeking for candidates to assume their vacant positions; if they engage the services of a particular recruitment agency, that is and once the candidate is hired. I am not really sure if the candidate should also contribute as they were sought by the agency, but I do know that they will have to if they registered with the recruitment agency to look up a job and their job was found by the same agency.<br />
Sounds complicated? Maybe, or maybe not, as I did not really pay much attention to this anyway....Before it just chanced upon me.<br />
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I remembered my dad telling me that only people of respectable reputation are sought after by the recruitment agencies, or let me just refer to them as headhunters and it makes perfect sense for with their remarkable performance history and track record, they no longer need to seek jobs but rather, jobs come knocking on their doors even when they are attached to another company. Sounds too good to be true, right?<br />
I found myself amazed with a big 'Wow' when I heard of stories of managers or big shots of respectable companies being sought after by their competing companies and being offered a much rewarding, not to mention attractive paycheck and wondered, will the day ever come for myself too?<br />
Maybe it will, sometime in the future, but not at the moment as I thought I was just working my way and learning things the hard way.<br />
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I was surprised when I first received an email followed by a phone call from this lady in Singapore who informed me that she was from a recruitment agency and that she was interested in me to match a position in a multinational corporation. Guess what, the first thought that came to my mind was, was this some kind of joke or a fraud?<br />
Well, we talked and it then occurred to me that it was for real. I was being contacted by a headhunter; yes, that word sank in after some time!<br />
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It was apparent to me, and not just that, I received another call; no, not another headhunter but a HR manager of another prominent MNC who was interested in discussing with me about an available position in the company. Anyway, the latter did not fit my profile or I did not fit them perhaps; my background did but my experience did not supplement enough to suit me for the job required which left me with the earlier offer.<br />
Initially things seemed to be going quite well, and recently, she offered me another higher-level position which sounded really exciting and discussions are ongoing.<br />
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Alright, I am not writing about this to brag about being head-hunted; but rather, sharing my personal thoughts and feelings on the whole experience.<br />
Well, to be honest, I am not quite sure how I felt about the overall elxperience as I was a little overwhelmed by it all that I still felt like it was surreal. I was not quite sure whether I should be delighted, jumping with joy, proud, honored or even just simply give myself a pat on my back for being considered by these companies for important job roles.<br />
Perhaps I should, considering that this is some sort of a little achievement, or an honor, as my dad would say to have captured the attention of the key industry players of my tiny existence in the big world.<br />
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Nothing is for sure yet, and I have learnt from experiences that high expectations could sometimes (or maybe most of the time) lead to major disappointments. It's not that I don't think positively nor am I confident of my own capabilities, but I never do believe in counting the chicken eggs before they are hatched for I always felt that it would somehow just jinx the whole thing. I prefer to leave everything to God, for I know that He had arranged all these for me, and He is always there for me when I am down and needed guidance.<br />
Some may say that I should be proud that I am doing a good job, but honestly, I am not trying to act humble but I do owe it all to God for He determines what I should do and where I ought to go.<br />
Perhaps this is a little test from him, or a little carrot from him; but I thank Him all the way for showing me a little light in times of darkness.<br />
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Whatever the results shall be, it is still to me an achievement that I know I should be proud of for I am considered worthy to even be contacted by these companies. I still have a long way to go, and I am not going to be all conceited and think that I am way up there when I am still all the way down here.<br />
It is a great opportunity of course, and one that I am silently rejoicing and telling myself that I need to work harder.<br />
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I shall not revel in the expectations but rather find more ways to improve myself to stay competitive at all times, and that means more and more hard work.<br />
Whatever that comes, I will accept it as I leave everything to God.<br />
Come what may...and at the same time, I shall continue to work....and work :-)Christina Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11812903022397709758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2003989914151165948.post-18293293685579710912012-05-03T06:20:00.001-07:002012-05-03T06:20:30.212-07:00What defines a soulmate...I define a soulmate as someone who knows me through and through; be it my outer and inner self, my physical and mental, and is one who could just know what I think or about to say before I even have to open my mouth. It is definitely someone whom I could trust, and know that I could depend on when I am in need. There is no longer a need for words or any act and the person is just almost another of me, but in thoughts and in unity with my soul.<br />
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Sounds complicated?<br />
Not so, but it definitely requires somewhat of such complexity to be called a soulmate; or someone who eerily knows you so well next to yourself.<br />
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The journey to find someone of such qualities is definitely not one to be easily predicted and sometimes, there is no need to really embark on a search for that person right beside you could be easily your soulmate. Maybe it is the long time spent with each other, or it is the depth of understanding that can really define a soulmate, or so some may think.<br />
It may be funny that there are those that you have just met for a short while, yet you could just feel it in your bones that he/she is definitely the one you are about to trust or can truly depend on.<br />
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There are many who thought they have found their soulmate when they married that person they love or thought they know very well, only to find that he/she was not the person they are looking for nor do they understand them well enough to work together in a crisis. Some even found in another whom they could talk to when they needed someone instead of their own spouse; who should rightfully be the soulmate.<br />
It is really one's own definition really; but of course, spouse, being that one person who is in close affinity to us after our own parents in terms of love, trust and thoughts, is usually the first person who comes to the mind when one speaks of a soulmate. However, what if, your soulmate is someone who is not your spouse? Or what if it is your best friend?<br />
What is the problem with that? There is no clear rule that says that your best friend cannot be your soulmate, nor does it says that your soulmate must be someone you are in love with or married to.<br />
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It is an interesting journey of discovery, and some may go through their whole life without truly finding their soulmate while some enjoy that privilege of being surrounded by people whom they could call soulmate and have a hard time to define that one person whom they could really trust.<br />
There are certain points when there are certain individuals, I am sure that we would have encountered in our life that we thought with certainty that is the soulmate only to be disappointed when things don't turn out that way.<br />
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Perhaps I have found my soulmate, or perhaps I have not? I am thankful that I am surrounded by many people whom I could call understanding friends and whom I know would not leave my hand dangling there in the air when I needed another hand to pull me up.<br />
I will continue to enjoy this journey called life, although it will not be all pleasant and along the way, encounter my very own journey of self-discovery (which I believe I am on at the very moment and find that soulmate who holds my mind and invisible hand as I walk along the way.<br />
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A soulmate will never let you down, nor judge you when you are in need, but instead stand there in the shadows waiting for you to come around.<br />
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<br />Christina Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11812903022397709758noreply@blogger.com0