Great Expectations

"With great power comes great responsibility"
The phrase was constantly quoted and famously used to address many different situations; but more commonly in careers and personal development.

For many, a promotion at work or advancement in career means an incremental point in one's authority, loosely translated as the increase in power. This will lead to the many ambitious takes in strengthening one's position and by assuming their responsibilities; perhaps in the process, rushing with their attempts to put on many hats simultaneously. It is not surprising what a promotion could do to boost one's ego and pride as they guard that achievement to their heart and soul; looking forward to a better future as they pile on their goals to achieve more. They are proud, with that little milestone of success in their career path and even in life and it sets that positivity and encouragement to move one to do more to achieve further successes.
It is a norm; particularly among high achievers and the more they have, the more they want. They will stop at nothing to work hard towards their goal to achieve the success they have defined or mapped all in their minds. It is nothing negative; as long as in the process, one does not turn destructive or lose themselves in striving towards their aim.

For myself, I am too like that, as I love successes (well, who doesn't?) and I have set myself many goals ever since I was a little girl; pushing myself forward with every step to outdo myself. While many think that I can be hard on myself, and that my parents were probably behind the pressure I put on myself, it is not the case as I am blessed with great and understanding parents who never told me what I should or not do. It was within my liberty and I was given my own space for development and to pursue my own dreams. I was never forced into any stereotyped career choices because 'my parents told me to' or because 'it was good to me'.
For that, I am truly thankful for their support and encouragement for they told me that I could be whoever I want to be; as long as it makes me happy. In fact, when I was working hard towards my goals, my parents would even advise me to take a break and not to be too hard on myself. It was just me; I always wanted to push myself a little further and I wanted more successes for my own sake.
Perhaps it was due to this nature that I had often set high expectations for myself, and also in many things that I do or encounter along my life journey.

I had looked forward to many things in life; that there were times it seemed like I was being rather idealistic. But that would be a fast judgment to pass on me; as I can be realistic when it comes to life, though I would not deny myself harboring many great expectations in my life encounters. Perhaps I have had great opportunities working and meeting many great people and things in my life, that I could set their standards as benchmarks. Yet at the same time, I had reminded myself of the fairness and diversity in the people around the world and that no two people are the same. I have encountered enlightenment from these great inspirations but I have also been through major disappointments which I took as part of my life lessons.

I had made a decision when I was presented with a great opportunity and it seemed surreal of a materialization. Perhaps it was my own great expectations that it later turned out to be a great letdown as well, as I was led through a valley of ignorance and empty promises by people who called themselves leaders. I could not fathom how leadership could sank to such standards, and it beats me to how they made it to their position in the first place. You see, to me, a leader is not just a word or a standard term used to refer to people holding authority to me. I have my own definition of leadership; which does not stray that far away from the dictionary's definition. The general definition holds in that the leader should be leading and the guide but sadly, I have met people who thinks that being a leader means they are not to do anything at all but leave it all to others for it was far beneath their standards.
Perhaps they are not wrong; they were probably misled by their earlier predecessors themselves to have formed this idea of leadership.

I have been told that great expectations would usually lead to letdowns, and that once in a while, I should not set such high expectations. Maybe it is not fair to set high expectations to rate others, but for myself, I do want to aim and set to achieve that end goal I have in my mind; of course, in a realistic manner.
Things have fell short of my expectations and while I am learning to cope and picking up a lesson or two along the way, I have also asked myself questions and also immersed in thoughts to make a decision.
It may not turn out to meet my expectations, but I could definitely do something about rather than just resigning myself to an excuse that it is fated. We can control our destiny; although God does have His plans for us but our minds are there for a reason.

It is a trying time; and I believe that things all happen for a reason. While I am trying to build my perspectives around myself and deciphering my own decisions; wondering whether I have made the right or wrong decision and taking in the perspectives, I do not blame anyone or even myself when things do not go my way. Perhaps it was maturity. but when things go wrong, that is where we learn what is right.
Setting expectations is not a bad thing; in fact, it made me look at the world in different perspectives for there are many reasons worth exploring and life has so much more to offer.
A disappointment is only for a moment, but if I were to stay in that condition, I would have a disappointment out of myself, don't you think?

I will learn, pick it up and walk again, and forming more great expectations along the way....

My say?
With great expectations, come more great accomplishments ~ Christy

Expectations from marriage

Two years ago, I was floating on cloud nine when my guy proposed to me while on one of the most beautiful vacation overseas and then after dancing around in my dreams for a little bit, it was time to launch into planning mode to throw everything that I ever wanted/dreamt of as a little girl to realize that perfect wedding.

The whole process took an entire year; and that was one year ago, I still couldn't believe that it is now behind me and today, I carry the title of a Mrs. and I am officially married to someone.

I have a husband now and even my posts on my blog are about 'us' instead of all me nowadays.

It's funny how things have taken a turn for a change; but of course, I see it as a good change and also, part of growing up. Entering a new phase of life means taking on new responsibilities and perspectives on life.

What used to be me and me alone now becomes 'us'.

To be honest, I have wrote about a lot of things about 'what happens after I do', settling into my married life and also my personal thoughts on being married and there are just so much more to write about that I have running through my mind since October last year. However, while we are enjoying our journey of being married, we also start to face certain expectations.

We have known each other for some time and therefore, we have skipped that part of settling and fitting in each other's life as we have gone through most of those in discussion and in dealing with each other during our courting period.

Therefore, I am not talking about expectations of each other; but rather I was surprised that there were other expectations coming from other sources; for instance our parents, families, relatives and even friends.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying it in a negative way, but it just surprised me although I have been told by my friends and family earlier yet it still kind of struck me as funny yet amusing when I realized it.

If you are guessing about pregnancy, yes, you got it right.

I know it is a norm to be expecting the newly weds to have children; but I just didn't expect it to come instantly.

I was pursued with questions of "When are you planning to have a baby?", "Are you pregnant yet?", "Are you guys planning to have kids anytime soon/at all?", "Are you guys on family planning mode?" and a lot more of such nature even in the first month of my marriage!

I just find it a little all too rushed and the best part is, we are not even the ones who are in panic mode.

Some are telling us (the older aunties and uncles) that we ought to plan for one as soon as possible while young or else we could be old when the children grow up.

It is ironic that these people could be more anxious compared to us; people who have the potential to become parents, although I am assured of their concern and kindness. I do know that everyone means well.

Family planning is something that everyone is concerned about; I am sure after one enters the phase of marriage and while we can be hearing questions and friendly advices on the right way to plan for a baby and other worldly experiences from our elders, there are also times when the couple themselves need to decide for themselves whether to bring a new life into the world on their own will and not succumb to pressure.

I was told that this is only the tip of the iceberg and after that, more and more questions will come knocking on my door.

I have recently heard of friends who have gotten pregnant; actually, there are tons of them that it almost seemed like everyone around me is pregnant or were pregnant. I have even heard of two miscarriages from two of my close friends and my heart cries silently for my friends' pain over the loss.

I know that most people are enthusiastic about having a baby, and some of my friends even told me that the pregnancy came unexpectedly.

As for me, I am not sure when I will be joining the circle of expecting mothers or enter the realm of motherhood as it is not just up to us to make this decision but also something which lies in the power from above; to whom I am leaving our fate to.

This is usually the answer I give to concerned people who asked me about whether I am pregnant or not, after being married for a few months now; or half a year. 

To us, having a baby may sound like an easy thing but there are just so many things to look forward to besides having that new member in the family. Financial stability, mental and physical maturity, our readiness to take on a new role, and also many other things. It is not just about following the majority or giving into peer pressure to have a child at the 'right' time/age.

The human issues versus our divine destiny is just usually the answer I give to concerned and anxious people around us; God will let us know when the right time is?:-)

Perhaps the time will come when I write in my blog about the joys of becoming a mother and how it is like to be expecting, or maybe the blog will fully revolve around the new member.

The time will come, I am sure, for all of us and if it is not meant to be, well, that is also something we should be prepared for.

When the day comes, I will definitely write more in my blog...and that time, don't ask me the next question, "When is the next one coming along?"