Tuesday, July 10, 2012

I Want to Win an Awesome Tropical Island Holiday with Cikipedia!

 I’m participating in Cikipedia’s Healthy Getaway Weekend!

My Daily or Weekly Workout Routine:

I workout every part of my body:
1. Brain/Head - What to blog?
2. Face/Stomach - Laugh at funny posts to relax muscles 
3. Shoulder/Hands - Typing/stretching every few 30 minutes
4.  Lower Body/Cardiovascular- Retail therapy around the entire mall (think, decide and then cringe with regret over impulse buys)
5. Emotion - Financial planning and saving for a vacation!

Yeah, I consider that workout and seriously it takes a lot more muscle in the body than one can imagine and I am sure all ladies agree that they burn more calories than running to the gym:-P

It's a fun contest, and made me realize I ought to consider more to my workout routine; maybe like picking up Yoga at a luxurious resort..hehe!

Anyway, trying my luck here, thanks to Cikipedia and YTL for this enticing contest offer :-)

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Barley - My favorite and a saver

For some reason, I was feeling a little light-headed again on Tuesday, and the weird thing is, I don't really feel that I am sick (not to that extent) and I suspect it was more of fatigue.
However, I am not ready to take any more chances considering my last illness cost me three weeks of freedom and therefore, I decided to drown litres of water to cool my body down (the heatwave was really getting to most of us too!)

Then I made myself some barley...yeah, I can cook my own barley drink these days, so I am not that spoilt!

Looks good, although I left it to cook a little longer than I should, but I was busy fixing my phone :-P

Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing

This drink is one of my personal favorites to drink on any day, but more so whenever I am feeling unwell or excess heat in the body (fever or sore throat) as this is one of my best bet for a natural life-saver and health booster.
The best part is it is packed with fibre to keep me going when I had no appetite!

Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing

I love chewing on the barley grains although lots of people would usually discard them after cooking as most of them do not like the grains but I am totally the opposite; as I am so into them.

I did feel better after a round of barley drink the next day, and a good thing.
Good ol' barley is always the best remedy at the early stages and even when I am already sick; good to cool down fever and reduce the inflammation of a sore throat.

I am proud of myself*

Expectations from marriage

Two years ago, I was floating on cloud nine when my guy proposed to me while on one of the most beautiful vacation overseas and then after dancing around in my dreams for a little bit, it was time to launch into planning mode to throw everything that I ever wanted/dreamt of as a little girl to realize that perfect wedding.
The whole process took an entire year; and that was one year ago, I still couldn't believe that it is now behind me and today, I carry the title of a Mrs. and I am officially married to someone.
I have a husband now and even my posts on my blog are about 'us' instead of all me nowadays.

It's funny how things have taken a turn for a change; but of course, I see it as a good change and also, part of growing up. Entering a new phase of life means taking on new responsibilities and perspectives on life.
What used to be me and me alone now becomes 'us'.

To be honest, I have wrote about a lot of things about 'what happens after I do', settling into my married life and also my personal thoughts on being married and there are just so much more to write about that I have running through my mind since October last year. However, while we are enjoying our journey of being married, we also start to face certain expectations.
We have known each other for some time and therefore, we have skipped that part of settling and fitting in each other's life as we have gone through most of those in discussion and in dealing with each other during our courting period.
Therefore, I am not talking about expectations of each other; but rather I was surprised that there were other expectations coming from other sources; for instance our parents, families, relatives and even friends.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying it in a negative way, but it just surprised me although I have been told by my friends and family earlier yet it still kind of struck me as funny yet amusing when I realized it.
If you are guessing about pregnancy, yes, you got it right.

I know it is a norm to be expecting the newly weds to have children; but I just didn't expect it to come instantly.
I was pursued with questions of "When are you planning to have a baby?", "Are you pregnant yet?", "Are you guys planning to have kids anytime soon/at all?", "Are you guys on family planning mode?" and a lot more of such nature even in the first month of my marriage!

I just find it a little all too rushed and the best part is, we are not even the ones who are in panic mode.
Some are telling us (the older aunties and uncles) that we ought to plan for one as soon as possible while young or else we could be old when the children grow up.
It is ironic that these people could be more anxious compared to us; people who have the potential to become parents, although I am assured of their concern and kindness. I do know that everyone means well.

Family planning is something that everyone is concerned about; I am sure after one enters the phase of marriage and while we can be hearing questions and friendly advices on the right way to plan for a baby and other worldly experiences from our elders, there are also times when the couple themselves need to decide for themselves whether to bring a new life into the world on their own will and not succumb to pressure.
I was told that this is only the tip of the iceberg and after that, more and more questions will come knocking on my door.

I have recently heard of friends who have gotten pregnant; actually, there are tons of them that it almost seemed like everyone around me is pregnant or were pregnant. I have even heard of two miscarriages from two of my close friends and my heart cries silently for my friends' pain over the loss.
I know that most people are enthusiastic about having a baby, and some of my friends even told me that the pregnancy came unexpectedly.

As for me, I am not sure when I will be joining the circle of expecting mothers or enter the realm of motherhood as it is not just up to us to make this decision but also something which lies in the power from above; to whom I am leaving our fate to.
This is usually the answer I give to concerned people who asked me about whether I am pregnant or not, after being married for a few months now; or half a year. 
To us, having a baby may sound like an easy thing but there are just so many things to look forward to besides having that new member in the family. Financial stability, mental and physical maturity, our readiness to take on a new role, and also many other things. It is not just about following the majority or giving into peer pressure to have a child at the 'right' time/age.
The human issues versus our divine destiny is just usually the answer I give to concerned and anxious people around us; God will let us know when the right time is?:-)

Perhaps the time will come when I write in my blog about the joys of becoming a mother and how it is like to be expecting, or maybe the blog will fully revolve around the new member.
The time will come, I am sure, for all of us and if it is not meant to be, well, that is also something we should be prepared for.

When the day comes, I will definitely write more in my blog...and that time, don't ask me the next question, "When is the next one coming along?" 

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

The day I was called by a headhunter

Headhunter is a term that I have heard for a while, and I was often amazed (and) impressed with the stories of people who have been contacted/located by them.
(In case you are not familiar with the term, do not be horrified by the thought that the hunt is for one's physical head as this is just a literal way of saying that one is hunted by their reputation. A rather profound and widely acknowledged term used by recruitment agencies on the hunt for potential candidates for their position listing by their clients).

I have heard of them recruitment agencies and how they work, and the way they earn from their clients and also job seekers when their services are engaged are somewhat similar to that of a real estate property agent. Well, sort of. From what I have heard, they will need to extract at certain % from the company seeking for candidates to assume their vacant positions; if they engage the services of a particular recruitment agency, that is and once the candidate is hired. I am not really sure if the candidate should also contribute as they were sought by the agency, but I do know that they will have to if they registered with the recruitment agency to look up a job and their job was found by the same agency.
Sounds complicated? Maybe, or maybe not, as I did not really pay much attention to this anyway....Before it just chanced upon me.

I remembered my dad telling me that only people of respectable reputation are sought after by the recruitment agencies, or let me just refer to them as headhunters and it makes perfect sense for with their remarkable performance history and track record, they no longer need to seek jobs but rather, jobs come knocking on their doors even when they are attached to another company. Sounds too good to be true, right?
I found myself amazed with a big 'Wow' when I heard of stories of managers or big shots of respectable companies being sought after by their competing companies and being offered a much rewarding, not to mention attractive paycheck and wondered, will the day ever come for myself too?
Maybe it will, sometime in the future, but not at the moment as I thought I was just working my way and learning things the hard way.

I was surprised when I first received an email followed by a phone call from this lady in Singapore who informed me that she was from a recruitment agency and that she was interested in me to match a position in a multinational corporation. Guess what, the first thought that came to my mind was, was this some kind of joke or a fraud?
Well, we talked and it then occurred to me that it was for real. I was being contacted by a headhunter; yes, that word sank in after some time!

It was apparent to me, and not just that, I received another call; no, not another headhunter but a HR manager of another prominent MNC who was interested in discussing with me about an available position in the company. Anyway, the latter did not fit my profile or I did not fit them perhaps; my background did but my experience did not supplement enough to suit me for the job required which left me with the earlier offer.
Initially things seemed to be going quite well, and recently, she offered me another higher-level position which sounded really exciting and discussions are ongoing.

Alright, I am not writing about this to brag about being head-hunted; but rather, sharing my personal thoughts and feelings on the whole experience.
Well, to be honest, I am not quite sure how I felt about the overall elxperience as I was a little overwhelmed by it all that I still felt like it was surreal. I was not quite sure whether I should be delighted, jumping with joy, proud, honored or even just simply give myself a pat on my back for being considered by these companies for important job roles.
Perhaps I should, considering that this is some sort of a little achievement, or an honor, as my dad would say to have captured the attention of the key industry players of my tiny existence in the big world.

Nothing is for sure yet, and I have learnt from experiences that high expectations could sometimes (or maybe  most of the time) lead to major disappointments. It's not that I don't think positively nor am I confident of my own capabilities, but I never do believe in counting the chicken eggs before they are hatched for I always felt that it would somehow just jinx the whole thing. I prefer to leave everything to God, for I know that He had arranged all these for me, and He is always there for me when I am down and needed guidance.
Some may say that I should be proud that I am doing a good job, but honestly, I am not trying to act humble but I do owe it all to God for He determines what I should do and where I ought to go.
Perhaps this is a little test from him, or a little carrot from him; but I thank Him all the way for showing me a little light in times of darkness.

Whatever the results shall be, it is still to me an achievement that I know I should be proud of for I am considered worthy to even be contacted by these companies. I still have a long way to go, and I am not going to be all conceited and think that I am way up there when I am still all the way down here.
It is a great opportunity of course, and one that I am silently rejoicing and telling myself that I need to work harder.

I shall not revel in the expectations but rather find more ways to improve myself to stay competitive at all times, and that means more and more hard work.
Whatever that comes, I will accept it as I leave everything to God.
Come what may...and at the same time, I shall continue to work....and work :-)

Thursday, May 3, 2012

What defines a soulmate...

I define a soulmate as someone who knows me through and through; be it my outer and inner self, my physical and mental, and is one who could just know what I think or about to say before I even have to open my mouth. It is definitely someone whom I could trust, and know that I could depend on when I am in need. There is no longer a need for words or any act and the person is just almost another of me, but in thoughts and in unity with my soul.

Sounds complicated?
Not so, but it definitely requires somewhat of such complexity to be called a soulmate; or someone who eerily knows you so well next to yourself.

The journey to find someone of such qualities is definitely not one to be easily predicted and sometimes, there is no need to really embark on a search for that person right beside you could be easily your soulmate. Maybe it is the long time spent with each other, or it is the depth of understanding that can really define a soulmate, or so some may think.
It may be funny that there are those that you have just met for a short while, yet you could just feel it in your bones that he/she is definitely the one you are about to trust or can truly depend on.

There are many who thought they have found their soulmate when they married that person they love or thought they know very well, only to find that he/she was not the person they are looking for nor do they understand them well enough to work together in a crisis. Some even found in another whom they could talk to when they needed someone instead of their own spouse; who should rightfully be the soulmate.
It is really one's own definition really; but of course, spouse, being that one person who is in close affinity to us after our own parents in terms of love, trust and thoughts, is usually the first person who comes to the mind when one speaks of a soulmate. However, what if, your soulmate is someone who is not your spouse? Or what if it is your best friend?
What is the problem with that? There is no clear rule that says that your best friend cannot be your soulmate, nor does it says that your soulmate must be someone you are in love with or married to.

It is an interesting journey of discovery, and some may go through their whole life without truly finding their soulmate while some enjoy that privilege of being surrounded by people whom they could call soulmate and have a hard time to define that one person whom they could really trust.
There are certain points when there are certain individuals, I am sure that we would have encountered in our life that we thought with certainty that is the soulmate only to be disappointed when things don't turn out that way.

Perhaps I have found my soulmate, or perhaps I have not? I am thankful that I am surrounded by many people whom I could call understanding friends and whom I know would not leave my hand dangling there in the air when I needed another hand to pull me up.
I will continue to enjoy this journey called life, although it will not be all pleasant and along the way, encounter my very own journey of self-discovery (which I believe I am on at the very moment and find that soulmate who holds my mind and invisible hand as I walk along the way.

A soulmate will never let you down, nor judge you when you are in need, but instead stand there in the shadows waiting for you to come around.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

What really changes after I Do?

Many have asked me the question "How's married life?" since I have walked down the aisle and professed my vows before God last year, tying the knot with someone whom I am to spend the rest of my lifetime with.
Someone whom I know call my hubby, the man who takes his place beside me as long as we both live.

It is a common question; and rather expected out of the mouths of friends and relatives of a newly wed couple as a way of greeting and striking a conversation with the couple. The response was rarely heeded; as though everyone knows the type of answer which will come out of their mouths which will be a polite and one of a positive note, like the following:
"Great, we are so in love with each other!"
"We are just having so much fun"
"We simply can't get away from each other, even if it is just for a few minutes"
"I can't tell you how much I am loving it"
and the list just goes on as each shares their own account of their thoughts on their new phase of life.

Of course, most will nod their heads in agreement for it is expected of a newly wed couple; as they enjoy that early days of knowing each other better and exploring beyond the normal everyday boundaries which were hidden beneath the seemingly perfect surface of their other half.
That is an exchange of the secret lives between the two people now sworn to spend their lifetime with each other, and everyone would be expecting that they will be enjoying the experience of discovering each other. After all, it is the honeymoon period, isn't it?

As for me, I do not deny the above responses which I would probably agree with, but whole-heartedly and at the same time, I would also like to say that for hubby and myself, we somehow felt that nothing really changed after saying "I Do".

Yes, we have entered into our new phase of our lives, by sharing our lives together as one; and no longer as two single individuals but yet, we seemed to just ease so comfortably into our roles as though we have been long married. Perhaps it was the long time we have known each other and took to learning and understanding each other or perhaps we just feel so close that we could just share on our own respective life stories and backgrounds ever since we knew each other.
The number of years we have had and the ups and downs we have encountered during our relationship attributed to the strong understanding we have of each other today.

Things were not easy when it first started and there were doubts and insecurities as question after question rises when we were deciding on the direction of our relationship, which first started as friendship. However, as we roughed it out and smoothed the differences through our experiences and learning from our mistakes, we soon started to enjoy being with each other and really understood what it is like to have someone in our lives.

We were both new in relationships; never having had a boyfriend/girlfriend before. Yes, we are both our firsts, which is really sweet and something which I wished I could have ever since I was younger. Back then, I often wondered who I am going to meet in the future, and what kind of person I will end up marrying or will I even get married someday. (Haha, I am that hilarious:)
You could say that I was an extremely cautious person when it comes to trusting people; and especially to enter into a relationship. Call me conservative or even dumb, but I thought of relationships as romantic and that it should be filled with love and trust and it must last until marriage. I was not looking for flings or dates for fun even at a young age; I knew I wanted someone whom I would marry someday. A guy once told me that I should try dating to know what kind of guy suits me; I know he's not wrong, but I also told him in return, I don't want to try, I know I will know when the right one comes along.

It sounded like a cliche line from one of those romantic movies, I know, and the funny thing is, I didn't really know when the right guy comes along! It shows that things are never what they seemed, but time proved everything.

Entering into marriage is a first step to know each other better, as many before us tells us. It is time to know about the deepest secrets, the good and the bad habits, the background and life journey about that very person you are about to spend your lifetime with.
For us, we have done ALL that when we took that journey through our years of relationship to finally confirm that we are ready to be married.

We did not do it the other way round but instead, we decided that we must know each other before we take that step.

So what really changes after we are married today? (since we claim to know each other so well before marriage)
I can say that we are familiar yet unfamiliar with each other's grounds, but we are using the familiarity and knowledge of each other to venture into the unknown. We work with each other, to understand each other better. While many may have encountered feud when discussing about finances and home maintenances, we have reached our own common understanding since we knew of each other's style by making the best of each's expertise in our respective fields.
For instance, I could do planning in fields such as home; shopping for the groceries and necessities or planning for parties and events with the family while hubby could make decisions on the travel, vehicles and major planning. It is something that we must be able to agree upon, and not doubt each other's decision. To reach this, it requires trust and respect for the equality which exists in the relationship.

To say that we are experts about each other is definitely still an understatement for even couples who are married for decades still claim they will never stop learning about each other.
However, I truly appreciate the longer days we spent in our relationship and going through the ups and downs to prepare us for our marriage and joining our lives as one as we understand the best and worst of each other.
We are now more knowing of each other, and sometimes we just know what each other thinks without even having to say another word.
We will continue to discover more of the ups and downs or marriage, but we are confident we will be able to handle them all as we have during our courtship.

As for blending in with our respective families, it was something we had done even during our courting period, as our parents are well versed with each other and with us. Living or dealing with either side of the parents is not an issue; and in fact, we now have 2 sets of parents that we equally love and care about.

I won't say that everything is going to be a breeze or a fairytale, for there are bound to be ups and downs, but I will hold his hand and together we will counter them all.
Nothing changes after marriage?
Yes, a lot has changed...we are making ourselves a better couple from our past and sharing our new life as ONE.
THAT, is the main change after marriage :-)

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Hoping for rain

Entering April usually means lots of rain and clouds, in line with the occurrence of the third month in the lunar calendar as well and the observation of Qing Ming.
However, this year, the haze looms above our heads and meeting our eyes but, no sign of rain.

I am missing the rain, and I am hoping for more rain to come our way and clear the skies!

Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing

There are cloudy weather, but then the clouds will just move away and then the sun or the haze comes back in.

The past few days saw a slightly clearer profile of the view as the midnight rain has cleared the skies, and the weather seems to have gotten better.
Hope that there will be more rain to cool us down...I just miss the rain so much....

Thursday, March 29, 2012

The weirdest dream

I have been meaning to post this yesterday but feeling a little under the weather does not boost one's mind for an immediate guaranteed smooth and coherent flow of writing, and since I am a perfectionist of all sorts though not a procrastinator by nature; I made the decision, against all that willpower to delay writing this post until I feel better.

Well, I am feeling better today; though it was a little weird considering the little sleep that I had last night and it was not even associated with this dream as I barely remembered ever getting any sleep at all.
However, I blamed it on cups of Chinese tea I drank during my dim sum breakfast with hubby before work yesterday which probably sent torrents of caffeine rushing into my brain and activating the cells like a switch; creating my hyperactive thoughts throughout the whole of the night when I am supposed to be sleeping, like the rest of the world.
Anyway, I really did feel better today; no fever, although the nose did seem a little more runny than usual which I attributed it to the recent resurfacing of the old time nemesis named the haze. I am trying to recollect the memories from this extremely weird dream I had the night before last; where I just kept having this bizarre feeling when I was in the dream and even after I woke up.
No joke, I did feel the need to emphasize and up the queer factor of the dream here. It is not exactly of a horror nature; although I am not sure to place my finger on that unbelievable part of a prized possession I saw in the dream.

I barely remember much; to be honest, and I think most dreams are made to be that way as seriously, how many can really remember every single detail of your dream? Maybe once in a while; but every single time recounting to that last color of a detail just creeps me out and if you are a stranger to me, I would call that fibs to your face.

My dream started on a happy note, remembering it vaguely from the sequence; but it came to a part when I felt my finger hurting a little and then I watched my wedding ring totally exposing itself into the air.

 Okay, this is the part where I have to be really descriptive as I watched; with horror and utter amazement when my ring kind of just swiveled in the air and was totally exposing the insides and even the elements of the ring was totally flattened; giving no indication of the prior shape whatsoever.

What astounded me was how easily a ring could be just ripped like it was just made of some really light material of metal; or aluminium possibly! I could not believe my eyes; be it in the state of consciousness or in the dream it is still totally out of the world, which of course can take place in the fantasies of the dreamland. However, I just remembered feeling helpless and wanting to scream or cry as the ring just unraveled itself like it was totally a crap material and soon the whole thing was in a flat form!

 I have had many crazy dreams but never before something like this; okay, maybe all dreams were meant to be unique anyway.
 I know wedding rings represent marriage, and if dreams do tell us something; then I hope that the Chinese belief that reality is the opposite of the dream will come true. (Yeah, I choose to believe either side of the East versus West longtime battle; whichever gives me a more positive outlook)

 I love to decipher dreams and given my immense interest in psychology, one can only wonder why I am not a psychologist by profession (hmm, maybe I should consider that!)

It does not really need any explanation to account for anything, but rather to fulfill that curiosity of mine.l I will share my interpretation soon; once they are all figured out.

If you do know of anything or even had similar dream of such nature, do let me know, maybe we can discuss; though not our private lives, which are usually the main component of the manifestations of such mind games during our sleep.

 Whatever it really says, I am not saying I am going to abide by it, as I always believe in using my own hands and gifts bestowed upon me by my Creator (God) to make things happen and good or bad, it is always what we make of it, don't you think?

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

A little under the weather

I felt really cold last night; despite being extremely busy with the activities that I fill my day with and I remembered feeling perfectly normal just like any other day.
However, the draft from the air-cond send shivers down my spine and then goosebumps started appearing on my hands and I even noticed my fingernails turning a little purplish, and I can tell you that only happens when I am in the office where the place is freezing cold with the A/C turned on the lowest temperature.
I turned off the A/C in the room and snuggled under my woollen blanket, and yet still feeling the chills which came from the windows on the other side of the bed.
My hubby could not feel it; and deduced that it was probably the rotating fan turning around in the ceiling although I felt that it was more towards the cloudy weather yesterday and that the temperature had probably declined.

Well, it didn't matter as I just kept feeling so cold and even today, I just made sure to keep myself warm with a wool knitwear; okay, not too thick or I feel weird given the sunny and tropical weather we have around here on certain days of the week. The weather has been a little crazy lately; what with the haze and the strong sun and then the clouds the next day and then dark clouds signaling the arrival of a storm but then they just got away with a short and sudden downpour which just vanished as quickly as it came.
Anyway, the weather surprises me and annoys me at the same time, and I just wished that it would either shine or rain; I mean, make up its mind as it tends to be really inconvenient for everyone on the road, or even at home as we bear with the high humidity in the air.

This morning, I still felt really fine albeit a little cold still, but it did not bother me until my appointment with my friend and she commented that I was a little warm as I was quite near here. It seemed that she could sense the warmth from my body, and then she touched my skin and she said it was just a little warmer than normal.
I was just telling her about how cold I was feeling the night before, and she just mentioned casually, "Maybe you are having a fever?"

Oh my, I can't believe that I never even thought of that possibility and hearing the words from her suddenly seemed to make sense although the word 'fever' was probably foreign due to its absence for some time; for how long, I can't even remember (it's supposed to be a good thing though) .
I am still striving to believe it, and now it seems like all the signs were evident for the last few days when I started having that disturbance with my nose; it seemed to be a little stuck and runny and I just dismissed it as effects from the lousy and hazy weather we get annually when there are forest fires nearby (did not help that the burning of paper paraphernalia in conjunction with the Chinese' yearly visiting tomb ritual going on at the same time).

Now, I am piecing parts of all the jigsaw puzzles; and even my body is reacting to confirm my, or rather, our suspicions. I am feeling a little tired, suddenly, although I did not do much today and nothing extensively physical, but I kept feeling a little heavy in my head and the bed seemed so welcoming to me; beckoning and opening its arms and there is nothing that I want to do but just enjoy the comforts of the slow pillow on my head along with the soft sheets behind my back while consoling my feet and hands at the same time.
Yes, the bed sounds more appealing right now compared to me tapping my fingers away to write this post...

I think I need to go lie down, just a little while...

Monday, March 26, 2012

A Walk Down Memory Lane

Taking a trip back to the old house; the house where I grew up with all the memories that formed the back part of my mind today was something which I had anticipated and had done so for a few times now ever since we moved to our new home. It was something that if one were to ask me many years ago whether it was even possible, I would definitely say no, because I felt like the house had belonged to us like forever. It is like we would almost die with the house itself and never leave it.

Sure, it is no Cinderella's castle, rather it was the humble abode of red roof tiles and a single-storey providing comforts of a home and acting as the strong shelter from the mighty storm and the darkness of night. It is the place where I spent two decades of my life in and grew up to be who I am today. There is just so much of me, not to mention of 'us' (my family) in this humble little house, now looking shabby, old and probably decaying from its former glory in the heydays. When I heard that the family is going back to the old house to pack and clean up the house to make way for our new inhabitants, I was looking forward to join in as there were some of my stuffs left behind in my old room as well. I can't even remember the last time I was there; although my best bet would be that it was more than a year ago since I had actually done anything when I was at the house. I did go back to the house last year, but I don't think I did much packing as I was just preoccupied with the planning of my own wedding for the whole of the year. I felt undecided on whether I wanted to go back to the house to pack sometimes; and I often ask myself the reason.
Was it because I did not want to deal with the cumbersome task of packing and tidying?
Or was it that I just did not believe that all those things, which amount to a lot, cannot be cleared in such a short time?
Maybe I just did not want to be reminded of the past, or look at the things which bring me back to the old days when I was just a child?

Perhaps all the above were the reasons and maybe I just refused to let the past just disappear like it was nothing into thin air; and packing up all the things means packing the memories and pieces of my life (and our lives) into the boxes and that would probably mean the end of the past. Of course, it sounds a little silly to me when I thought of it; the past don't simply go away just like that, when I pack them into the boxes as they will always be a part of me; no matter where I go or what I would become someday. It is the past which moulded who I am today, and that fact can never change, no matter what happens.

The feeling is indescribable as the house came into sight as our car drove into the road, and it is definitely even more touching as I entered the grounds of the old house and where I used to patter my little feet on. I remembered running around with my brother, and even enjoying cleaning up the verandah and the little garden for the festive seasons; especially during the Lunar Chinese New Year where we would help Mum with the plants. Oh, the creativity juices kicked in when we recycled some old red ribbons to tie around the thin branches of the plants in their pots, or even hanging old red packets (angpows) to signal the new Spring.
It was just the things we used to do in the garden; besides learning how to ride the bicycle for the first time and sitting there to enjoy the first few drops of rain when it had just started, just to name a few.

The old living room reminds me of the many times we sat together watching the old black box television and how delighted we were when we changed it to a new and bigger TV, and though it is definitely out of style today, back then, it was like a huge thing to have a new television in our house. We were taught to live a frugal life and saved on almost everything we could; so one can only imagine our happiness when we get something new in the house. Of course, I never did blame my parents for they have done nothing but the best to make our lives more than adequate and for that, I thank their hard work and efforts.
Dining hall with the turntable top was once filled with dishes rotating around the table as we reach out to take a scoop of each dish; while maintaining a live conversation with everyone at the table. Well, it was not like we have a big family and we always sat down together to have dinner together; or any meal, for that matter simply because my dad mentioned that 'A Family that eats together stays together', and it became such an important thing that we must have our meals altogether at the same time.

The shabby kitchen was once the place where the aroma of mum frying and doing her cooking fills the entire house before daddy gets home from work. On weekends, there is that joy of anticipating cold desserts from mum as she makes us grass jelly drinks, barley, chrysanthemum tea, herbal tea and even dessert soups like ginkgo nuts with barley, red bean soup, steamed egg pudding, etc. The main bathroom where many relaxing and comforting pelts of water trickle down our bodies, cleaning the day's accumulated stress and dirt from the day and in the midst of the sounds ready for a singing audition. Everything just looks the same to me; and I am amazed that even the paint and the tiles are all still attached.

The most nostalgic part was definitely walking into my own room; where I spent most of the time and days of my youth and penning my thoughts. Many great writings and stories were conceived in this room; not to mention the thoughts and inspiring ideas which sprung to mind when I was just sitting here inside my room. My books, bags, shoes, dresses and ALL my clothes (yes, I mean all) resided in the same space with me; and my room was not a huge one to begin with so one can only imagine how I had to organize my stuffs and also wedge myself in, through and out of the room. I guess I was partially there when I was finally in university; where about a percent or ten percent of my clothes went with me to find their place in the hostel's cupboard, but trust me, that did not solve my problem totally of inadequate space but I have lived with it, and it is funny, but it became a norm for me that I was just surrounded by so much stuffs. Books lined my study desk and even behind my dressing table; and I had lots more in boxes and not all of them were in my room (although I tried) as they were in the book racks out in the living/dining hall, but you get the idea, I am happy with the way things were. I grew up with lots of books of my own, and also those from friends and the libraries and all of them were read/completed inside this room. The room was also my messy wardrobe when I had to pick the outfit to wear to church or to go out with friends, attend an event or wedding dinner, and the list just goes on.

As I stood there, looking at the remnants lying here and there around the whole house, I was transported back in time to see how things used to be in the house and our hustle bustle as we got ready for school and work in the morning. Things start early inside this house; from waking up in the early wee hours of the morning on weekdays and then die down a little as most of us are out for work and school for a few hours and then we come back in the afternoon (if we are attending morning session of school), and things are still a little quiet but when evening falls and the family car pulls into the garage at about 6pm, things get busy as the TV is turned on, shower tap and kitchen sink run, and the sounds of the gas stove burning, sending the aromatic cooking scent throughout the whole house. It was just the typical scenario which repeats itself, day after day for almost two decades.

Looking back, we used to think that our house was not really as great or nice as others we have seen but I guess that is something we put behind us today. True, the house may not be as grand as a palace or as beautiful as those renovated/fully refurbished houses, but the house is what we call home.

It is here that memories were created, identities were moulded and ambitions were conjured.
That is something which cannot change, and to me, the house will always be a part of my past...and of me, and will continue to follow me wherever I go, reminding me of the good old days and when a snippet of memory comes flashing into my mind again, I will be taking that same walk, down the beautiful memory lane once again..and again...
It will never go away...and I don't ever want it to...

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

A Package

I love having things arrive for me from the post; as they bear mystery and the thrill of something sent from someone who thought of me.
Sure, it sounded like a self-obsession and I highly doubt that credit card companies or any services which I subscribe to do intend to show me that they care, besides for my spending.

Anyway, it has been a while since I have really received a package out of love or something which is related to something that I love; besides all the brochures from eager companies as mentioned above but ten days ago, this landed in the mailbox for us.
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing

It was just so exciting; as it was addressed to both of us, but I guess we already knew who it could be from.
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing

This is something precious and important to me; as it may not be from someone who sent it as a gift, but the contents of these really contains memories of love which means the world to me.
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing

That to me, is enough to define my package of love..or sweet memories....

A Journey of Emotions

There are so many things which kept me away from this blog, as I struggle to turn away from a lot of things which have been bugging me for a while.
Although I kept mentioning this, I just could not bring myself to share on the emotional turmoil which took place and left quite an impact in my life (and probably lives of those dear to me).

That one thing that probably kept me from writing it out is definitely the emotions.
It is easy for one to say that they are upset, angry, sad, and disappointed but to really experience it in person is a totally different thing and I, for one, can vouch for that.
Not that we are born without emotions; far from it, we are all trudging our feet through this journey called life and with that, the emotional burdens which tag along with us as we experience the ups and downs in life.
To say that what I have been through was probably just a speck of a moment of heat, but I call that an understatement as it truly takes years of witnessing those events unfolding before me which formed my perception (not to mention emotional package).

I think the story is just too long; and probably may even need several posts if I were to put them here but I ask myself, is it even necessary to do that as I am not one who is always ready to spill on things from the bottom of my own heart. However, there is another thing about me where strong and heartfelt thoughts and emotions could fuel me to just write. Yes, I always find writing as a way for me to evolve and discover myself as word after word were born from the back of my mind.

If you are not into emotions, I would not really advise for you to continue reading this as it is more of my own way of spilling about things which I felt strongly about and is just getting me frustrated. There are many more things; bombshells which I am not even sure whether I would drop along the way and hence, this outburst of a post may just be too overwhelming or dramatic for some.

Where do I start? I am not sure whether there is really one particular topic that I could really begin with but I decided, hey, just focus on my own feelings and arrangement of thoughts and that should be it. I mean, this is my personal space and I get to do it any way I want; something which I would like to gain control of.

The journey was probably supposed to be one of happiness, bliss and joyful as I was about to step into a new realm of my own life; to be with my soulmate. In case you are wondering whether my newly begun marriage is on the rocks, no, this is not at all associated with it; it is just a reference point for the consequent events to be mentioned. If anything at all, my marriage was still beautiful and a blissful one that I cherish along with my loving husband and I intend to keep it that way.

I don't know whether there is something known as bad blood; but I am starting to believe that there is. There are just people whom I wished I was never born to be related to, and yes, surely I don't mean that? Well take it the way that it was meant to be; I certainly mean that previous statement. Why, oh yeah, funny one should ask as that was definitely an interesting question.
I appear as a cheerful, jovial and even extremely positive person, but yet, taking this words from me does not seem to match that mental image of me, and I don't blame you, even I am having a hard time believing that it was myself penning down those words.

It probably sounds harsh; but it's not, and if I could write a book, I would as it definitely need books to describe the whole history which churned today's events.
Anyway, back to those people whom I was supposedly related to, I felt that it was like a road to more and more nightmares and I may have grew up with them around me; a fact that I truly can't change but the tolerance slowly diminished over the years, never mind the respect.
I believe that respect is always earned, and not given, and I am proud of the proper education and upbringing by my wonderful parents who had done a great job and I have always respected anyone who is older than me. It does not matter whether they are really that much older, but as long as they are just older, I felt obliged to be respectful. A rather good trait, I must say.

There are times when I find that I cannot bring myself to respect certain people whom, I can see are just out there to stir problems and cause emotional and physical havoc, even to their own loved ones. I simply find the selfishness had crept into their hearts and that they no longer cared about others; although they used to share the same bloodline.
It is hard to fathom what goes through minds of idiotic characters like these; as their excellent pretense and acting skills just serves as their shield, making them so believable as what they make others believe that was their nature just puts Oscar award winners to shame.
It disgust me to even want to believe that I am actually related to these people.

I have a wonderful family; and I thank God for that, and I truly wished that I could say the same for my extended family. Even my in-laws were pretty awesome people whom I constantly thank God for their presence, and I am sure my parents too. While lots of brides-to-be shudder at the thought of their new in-laws, I did not sweat over it all as it just felt like being at home when I was with them. They treated me like their own daughter.
Yes, I just felt that I had to clear that cloud of thoughts in case those reading this post thought I was talking about my own family or in-laws.
They are definitely not the ones I am referring to.

I had to be a little discreet out of respect for the people I love; although it is not hard to refer to the people whom are of concern and mentioned here. While people have loving aunts and generous uncles, I gag or may even choke if one were to describe mine the same way.
In reality, there is just so much pretense and evil under that masks they were wearing in public and growing up watching them switch from character to character makes me believe that indefinitely.

To be fair, not all of them are like that, as there is still some good blood left and God's mercy was certainly clear in some of the rare, though loving souls who truly cared.
However, I am also sad that most of them are like that. I have seen it all; from the pretense to the grudges and even throwing tantrums/fits in public, is just a few to name and that is not the overall drama for I fear if I were to mention them all, one could probably die of shock reading of such nature among humanity.

Fake crocodile tears during a funeral, awful backstabbing words behind one's back, lame excuses made to evade an important family event, creating a scene in the event which means the world to someone, are just a few to name those ugly scenarios and I have tried, really, tried to just ignore but when it comes to hurting the people I love and care about, it is just the final straw.
Anger is inevitable at times, but I chose to just bury it for the concern of the ones I love but despite the cool and ignorance I display, I still find it so hard to leave it at the back of my mind or even to think of forgiving them for those mean things they have done. I ask myself, and sometimes even God, how can one forgive and forget so easily?
Being brought up a Catholic thriving on the faith and practising that of the good values God wanted for us, I was taught to always be able to forgive others and also to seek peace, but now, HOW do you forgive someone, or ALL those (not only one) who hurt you again and again although you did nothing to hurt them and yet, be nothing but nice and patient to them simply because they are elders?

Patience is a virtue but when tested again and again can run thin and I did not want to be disrespectful. I even ask myself, as mentioned in the earlier part, was it because I did nothing to stop them or tell them off? Or was it that I have been too tolerant, or that my family has always been the ones who tolerate and back off that they take advantage of the fact that we can cushion their acts of stupidity?

I envy people with friendly and close relatives whom they treat like part of their own unit family, without any reservation; one of those is my hubby's and also a good friend. True, they told me that there are also the ugly parts to look at in the family, but I just wish at least I had some sun rays like that once in a while which turns into a rainbow rather than constantly wanting to hide from those unforeseen disasters.
The Chinese have a saying that says every family has a book/Bible which is hard to decipher, and I do understand the reality of it all.

I have decided to keep this buried and never be taken out again; although I do not want much to do with those people again. It is the only thing I can think of doing best, as seriously, not to paint a saintly picture of myself but I feel surprised that I was not really praying nor wishing or hoping for something bad to happen to them. I don't even think of lashing back at them or asking God to punish them. Yes, they may have hurt and pissed me off badly, but I just want to leave it at that. It's probably best for them too. The only best thing I want for myself and my family is to stay as distant as possible; and best not even connect to each other anymore.
Perhaps some may think I am overreacting, or that I am not looking at a bigger picture, but this time, I truly think that enough is enough as it is not something which starts from a single event but from an accumulative of things happening for decades which made me so decisive today.
Perhaps one day, I may change my perception or I may find a place in my heart to forgive them, but that day is not today, or tomorrow or the near future.

I have traveled from strong feelings of anger to hurt and disappointment, and now I just want inner peace. I dread anything that may warrant for a meeting or gathering with any of those people, but I pray to God for his guidance.
Most importantly is that our family is united and that they are there to support and help me.
I have also found some true nature in the people around me at the same time; besides that of within the extended circle of the family but also among friends and people who truly cared even when they are in no way related to me at all.

I am not complaining nor bitching about things in my life; as I consider myself fortunate enough to have a lot of things in life and for that I am truly thankful to God and to my family who have been there for me. Perhaps we cannot expect everything to be perfect at all times; no one can be truly perfect and what's best is we know we are doing good things that are of no harm to others and slowly, time can heal everything.
I am thankful for the love surrounding me; and the people who are with me all the way because no amount of money can replace them in any way.

Anger aside, another journey I am ready to embark on is the one of love and happiness; as I walk together, hand in hand, with my soul mate and life partner to discover the whole new world before us.

There will always be various journeys; and the one of emotions will always tag along with us, filling the bag along the way with our life experiences as we encounters the ups and downs in our lives and I can never avoid that.
After all, emotions are what make us human...

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Perfection is about Letting Go

“Perfection is not just about control. It's also about letting go.” Thomas Leroy in Black Swan

A quote I have heard in the movie Black Swan, and it just kept repeating itself in my mind. It is definitely not the first time I have heard of it, as besides the movie, I have been constantly told by my loved ones; namely my dad and my hubby.

I am a perfectionist; ever since I was a little girl though I did not really realize it back then. After all, how do you expect a kid to know about terms like this? All I know is I wanted things to go my way in every detail.

I have been an achiever since I was little, striving to be the top in class and in everything I do. I must ace that test, get full marks on my art project, and all my answers must be correct in my homework. One may think that I came from a highly pressured environment and how my parents insisted on the ultimate academic results.
Far from that, in fact, much to the disbelief of my friends and lot of people who asked me about it before, my parents never once exerted any form of pressure on my studies.
In fact, they even told me to relax a little and though I should study hard, the most important is to have the balance in my life as well. I should not be too focused on achieving the best results, as what matters is the effort I have put and as long as I have done my best, that is already an achievement to them.

I guess it was more of a streak I had in myself; I just wanted to excel in what I do.
However, I did not really view failure in the same friendly way and tend to question myself over what had gone wrong and just would not the issue slide. Instead I would brood over it, as I felt that I was to blame over everything.

I know that I should learn about the mistakes and move on; yeah, it's easier said than done as things may not seem as simple as that.
While many may say that it is important to let go of the past and look to the future (trust me, I hear that more often than I hear my own name), I just find it a little hard to deal with.

It's funny that sometimes even I can tell people to let go, but I myself find it so difficult to do the same thing and I don't even realize it. Even my hubby constantly tells me to relax and to just let things slide and not bother about it; saying that sometimes it is not all about right or wrong, it is more important to see the lesson hidden behind an incident.

When I watched the Black Swan movie, I was a little surprised by how tight of a person Nina Sayers appeared to be as she strives to land the role of the Swan Queen and how she slowly became obsessed and even started hallucinating. I don't know about you, I was a little scared by that idea and it then struck me, "Was I like her?"
Have I been focusing on my success too much, and getting everything perfect that I appear uptight just like Nina in front of my loved ones?
Most importantly, have I been obsessed??

It frightened me to even think I was anything like that, or even close to being someone like that. Maybe I was not that obsessed to her extent, but what if I slowly became like that?

Letting go sounds like an easy to do, and one can picture it so easily like letting go of the strings attached to a kite. However, is it really that easy, mentally and physically when it involves our prized possessions; including our pride?

I know it's not easy but there is always the first step to try, and I am trying and learning about loosening up a little and then hopefully I will eventually be able to slowly put things behind me and move on, like it never meant a thing to me anymore.
Well, it is in the context of letting go, like most monks, priests and holy men often preach; telling us that whatever we own in this world is merely materialism and are not supposed to rule over our lives. However, it is still a feat to achieve being able to let go of everything totally. After all, can we really not do without money, food, home?
Is that really letting go?

In conclusion, I feel that letting go is learning to relax a little, and also to sacrifice for our loved ones to understand what is for the best.
It is still okay to have a little perfection and wanting to be perfect at times, but it should be moderated and there are times when I just need to learn that loosening a little may not be such a bad thing for health.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Thoughts on my First CNY with a New family

Yes, it is my first year celebrating the festive Lunar New Year with my in-laws; after all those years having reunion dinner with my own family every single year.
Being married, means I am a part of my hubby's family and in Chinese traditions, I will need to celebrate most of the important festivals with my 'new' family (in-laws).
That doesn't mean that I am no longer part of my own family, but it just a form of assimilation into the families.

Reunion dinner on Chinese New Year's Eve and the First Day of the New Spring is the most important and therefore, daughter-in-laws are always expected to spend them at their husband's home, and with her in-laws instead of her own family after marriage, as according to the Chinese customs.
I was looking forward to celebrating my first Chinese New Year with my new family, although I was nervous and also homesick at the same time.
Nervous as I was not sure of my roles and responsibilities around the house; whether I would mess up during the preparation and helping around the kitchen as I am never one with household chores. I remembered my mum telling me that it is not the same when I am married, and that although I do not have to do much (or anything at all) at home, it does not mean I need not do anything as well in others' places (meaning, my in-laws' place).
Therefore, I was hoping to help out and tried to assist my mother-in-law as she was busy preparing for the reunion dinner.

I am not sure whether it was the small crowd we have this year for reunion, or was it my mother-in-law was just overly efficient, but all the same, I must say she is one awesome mother-in-law who was pretty much just like my own mum as she didn't let me help out. She told me that she had already done all the preparations days ahead and that there was really nothing much to do around the house.
I felt really blessed that my mother-in-law was so open-minded and carefree, in fact, she is always so kind to me and treated me like her own daughter. It made living with her stress-free and like I said, it is almost like living at home!

Feeling homesick is natural as I have celebrated every single festive season and Chinese New Year with my family at home ever since the day I was born! I know that my in-laws are great and even my hubby is a lovely addition to my life, but that still does not erase the homey feelings in me as I just feel so attached to my family.
I came from a very small and close knit family, where we can talk to anyone at anytime, not to mention sharing.

I felt odd that for the very first time this year, I am not making plans to travel back home for reunion dinner with my family, going to Chinese New Year mass on the first day of CNY, and just watching movies shown on the television with my brother and laughing it all out.
It does not mean I am not enjoying the same thing with my hubby and in-laws, but the feelings are slightly different, I am sure you know what I meant.
I missed the atmosphere at home, and also the goofing around antics of my brother.
I did not let these feelings get too much in the way, as the way I see it, it is just a transitional phase and everyone moves into different phase at different points of their life.

I was watching the television with my hubby on the couch on the eve of the Lunar New Year, or was it two days before, and there was this Astro Dragon CNY music video showing, where the songs were shot in all the states of Malaysia and the singers were just singing all the previous CNY songs from the past years.
I am particularly fond of their first song; 'Da Tuan Yuan' or literally translated to 'Reunion' and I remembered how I used to feel so touched by the lyrics ever since the first time I heard it when they first promoted it a few years ago (during its launch).
Somehow, I always felt emotional whenever I hear the song as I am reminded of the warmth and togetherness of my own family.
When I watched the music video, I find myself getting emotional and homesick all of a sudden as I just missed the feeling of reunion at home.

I know it's a little childish, but this is just normal for anyone who is just celebrating such a merry festive season away from home and family for the very first time.
It was just a timely emotion, and looking at it positively, I would hope to bring the same warmth and culture into my new family!;)

It is something new, but it is something exciting and worth looking forward to.
Learning about the new traditions and cultures practised by my in-laws was a little interesting too, as I noticed how carefree and laid back my in-laws are about the whole festive season, and their style of celebration is rather modest.
New traditions include visiting the temple early on the morning of the first day of the Lunar New Year, and visiting elder relatives at their homes later in the morning.
Then there are gifts from friends and relatives which started making their way to our home as early as a week away, and then there are those friends and relatives visiting throughout the whole festive season (which lasts for 15 days), and these visitors again come bearing gifts.
There is no need to buy much CNY goodies, except for those to be placed in the trays to be served to the visiting guests.

It is a new experience for me; and one filled with goodies as well although there is still an element of homesick but it is not too bad. After all, I do get to go home on the 2nd day of Chinese New year; another part of the Chinese tradition for married daughters:)
It is indeed, a brand NEW year for me and my family too!~


Sunday, January 29, 2012

CNY festive mood

A week before the Lunar New Year, I was already seeing red, yellow, orange and gold splattered everywhere around me; in shopping malls, and even houses in the neighborhood.
It is no wonder, as the Chinese view the bright colors of red, yellow, gold, orange as auspicious colors and are often associated with the new spring.

I don't really go around taking photos of the CNY decor in shopping malls, but sometimes when I am shopping around and I happen to spot them (or I happen to have my camera with me, which is almost all the time), I can't resist the urge to snap a photo of the decor!;)
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing

The Year 2012 is the year of the Dragon (to be precise, it is the year of the Water Dragon)
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing

As expected, most of the decorations are inspired by the Oriental elements and motifs
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing

Of course, not forgetting gifts and food which are being sent around with love.
This year, I am celebrating the Lunar New Year with my in-laws; a new family for the very first time, and there are just so many gifts being sent to the house by my in-laws' relatives and friends.
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing
You will see more of this in my food blog ;)

Here's wishing all my blog readers/followers/fans a very Happy and Prosperous Chinese New Dragon Year 2012!~

Friday, January 20, 2012

My Birthday 2012

I have posted so much about my birthday in my food blog, and now it's time to post in this personal space of mine.

I have had one of the most memorable birthdays this year, and I am really thankful to God for all the celebrations I have had. To be honest, I have a secret to share; I do so enjoy all those surprise and merry celebrations on my birthday. I love it when people around me remember my birthday and shower me with well wishes; even if it is just a simple "Happy Birthday".
Two words, and you have no idea how much it has touched me.
Call me self-obsessed, but to me, to have a friend or even someone remembering my birthday and making that effort to just write these two words on my Facebook wall, makes me feel loved and remembered, and I really like the feeling. It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside, you get what I mean.

Admit it, everyone of us has that narcissism in us; it is just the extent how some people would go to blow it. A little bit is good to boost the self-esteem sometimes, and too much of it, is just well, calling for attention.

I am not one who must have everyone celebrating with her, and as I have mentioned, I do feel happy when people remember or just wished me. If you have forgotten, I won't really put you on my blacklist of people who forgot my birthday. No worries about that :)

Of course, it's always nice when my loved ones spring surprises and plan my birthday celebration and obviously, celebrate with me. It does not matter whether it is an expensive meal or just a small little muffin, it just makes my whole world beautiful.

I am a big fan of my birthday; I mean, who isn't? It is the day that we get to enjoy and have fun, and just enjoy all that special privileges and attention :)
Now I make myself sound like I am all for that kind of attention!:p

This year was memorable to me, as I have not one or two, but almost five birthday celebrations! Seriously!
It brought me back those school days memories, when I have parents and friends fawning over me with gifts and birthday cakes and wishes, and I just felt so special.
It has been a while, and I have been staying away from home, and making new friends at my new place. That being said, it does not mean that my birthdays for the past few years were lousy; nah, far from that, every year is just as special.

This year, I had a few pre-celebration and even one post celebration! I even had a unique birthday muffin in honor of my birthday, and it was home made; specially for me!
Now, that's all about the special privilege I talked about.

Besides being married, I have had the chance to celebrate with my 'true friends'; as I have finally learnt a lesson or two about friendship and to be selective and starting my birthday year with these bunch of great friends just makes it all the more special.
My hubby gave me a lovely surprise as well, as like all the years, and I am truly thankful for his presence and love :)
I had a whole group of people singing "Happy Birthday" in a five-star restaurant on the actual day itself and we were like, the only customers in the restaurant. It's like we booked the whole restaurant for ourselves, even though it was purely coincidence!

Then I get to celebrate my birthday with my best girl friend, or rather, sister, who shared my birthday and year, for the very first time; yes, physically!:)

I get a great birthday bash with my own family; my brother, and my parents and my brother's gf even baked me a pair of muffins in my honor!:)

Just when I was sad to see my birthday ending, that very same week; 3 days later, my bunch of girl friends threw me a tea/dinner party and a birthday cake!:)

I just love everything so much, that I am almost moved to tears!
It was an awesome start of the year for me, and although I am a year older (and wiser), I am still looking forward to having the sugar of a year, after a year of ups and downs the rocks (besides my wedding). I could probably talk about that in my later post:)

The many different faces of me on my birthday this year!

My birthday cakes for the year 2012! I am spoilt rotten by my loved ones and friends, and I thank the Lord for these great people around me! Just when there were people who hurt me so bad, God showed that there are also so many out there who loved and cared about me :)
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing

Maybe there is too much of self-obsession in this post, and do pardon me for that, but I really did find this genuinely uplifting my spirits after a series of unfortunate events (which I have yet to post about), and I feel so blessed.

I don't know about you, I think I will always look forward to my birthday; no matter how old I am, or whether anyone celebrates with me because I am always celebrating with myself, every single year!

Besides all these attention-centered photos and stories, I am also bearing faith that my birthday will bring me a year full of hope, strength, joy and peace. That's not too much to ask for, right?
I won't share fully on my birthday wish; rumor has it that it may not come true when it is revealed!
An old wives' tale? Maybe, but I am not taking my chances :)

Thank you everyone, who has wished me and I wish you the very best on your birthday as well ;)

Sunday, January 15, 2012

~* Happy New Year 2012 from abroad! *~

This year, I spent the last of the year 2011 and the beginning of the year 2012 abroad, for the very first time!:)
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing

I remember waiting patiently for the strike of midnight every single year, and I did the very same thing even though I was in a different country!
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing
I was with my in-laws this year, traveling to visit my brother-in-law:)
(I will be posting about my trip in my travel blog soon ;)

Anyway, here are the fireworks welcoming the New Year 2012!!!~
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing
Image Hosted by PicturePush - Photo Sharing

What are your New Year resolutions for this year??

My Year 2011

It's almost the mid of January now; and the first fraction of the year 2012 and I have yet to do much posting in this blog.
I am sorry, as things have been really busy lately, and there are just so many things to look into at the same time.

It's not that I have nothing to post about; in fact, on the contrary, I have so much thoughts and emotions to pen down, and they have been accumulating for the past few months. Of course, they are not all negative as I have had a fair share of laughs and smiles as well.
That's what life is all about; the ups and the downs.

As I enter into the new year 2012, I do my usual roundup and reflection of my previous year and what I have enjoyed and learnt from the past year.
2011 was a rather eventful year for me; as there were lots of gains and also losses, in almost all aspects of life.

I have had a rather rewarding yet enriching journey, although I am still on the learning curve.
There were a few changes that took place in my life, and there were lessons learnt.
Well, the changes involved my work, my relationship, my views on life and friendships, and my interests.
The lessons learnt included that of relationships, priorities in life, friendship, etc.

There were lots of growth and losses at the same time; typical of everyone's life.
The following are the things I have seen, encountered and what I have experienced in the year 2011:
1. Work and career: I have made an important decision and change is inevitable
2. I have made and met new and great friends who helped me in my wedding planning, and hopefully will be my friends for life.
3. I have learnt that sometimes not everything are what they seemed on the surface.
4. I have taken a new step into the next phase of life, and have found my soulmate to share and spend the rest of my life with :)
5. I have seen the true and ugly sides of the people whom I thought were part of the family.
6. I have learnt the truth about being a 'family'
7. I have learnt that relationships are built based on trust
8. There are degrees of relationships among extended families which are not necessary, as sometimes the ties are only of blood and of nothing else (definitely not by choice).
9. I have learnt that trust and faith are to be selective, and sometimes even people you thought you can trust, can turn to betray you.
10. I have lost the last ancestor; my maternal grandmother and learnt the truth behind the people who claimed they cared.

As I have mentioned, it has been a rather eventful year and from my notes above, you can sense bitterness amidst the happiness as well, and it is something that I will slowly share in the blog.

Anyway, don't dwell on the unhappiness of the past, learn from them and move on.
Focus on the happiness!

As part of the tradition, I have compiled the highlights of the year into my self-made collage!:)
A Happy New YEAR 2012 everyone, and let's start by making great new year resolutions for a dashing and awesome NEW YEAR!:D

Monday, January 9, 2012

My Birthday Countdown...

It's been a while since I have updated this blog (again!), but trust me, I have been away for the holidays and I have recently just got back and nursing me poor self to health (I will talk about that later).

Anyway, I have a lot of backdated posts to write and to update in this blog, and that will all be coming very soon.
I will be doing my usual round of reviewing my past year, and my life, and also my new year resolutions and a few thoughts to share here and there.
It is altogether going to be a very very busy schedule for me, to update this and all my other 'neglected' blogs.

As I make way for all these, after my long vacation, I will taking a quick short break to indulge in my upcoming birthday celebration, which I look forward to, every single year.
Yeah, I tried to tell myself that it's no big deal and I am getting older anyway, but I can't believe the kid in my still squeal with excitement when my birth month approaches, let alone my birthday, LOL!

It's only a few more hours before I turn older, erm, and wiser, of course, but I can't wait for a gorgeous year ahead!:D

Yeah, counting down myself to my birthday...:)