Thursday, December 15, 2011

My Smurfs

While others are having Smurfs and Smurfette soft toys, I have my own Smurfs too and they are right on the UHU glue sticks I got for my wedding DIY projects.
I think I threw out a whole bunch when they finished and this is like, the last one I have.

You know they are really HUGE when they are appearing on UHU sticks :p
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Cute? :)

My Tumblr

Here, hop over for some laughs or light one-liners at my Tumblr

This can be so addictive, I am just posting on so many things in a day, whenever something just pops into my mind!:)
I am officially, addicted to Tumblr! :D

Goodbye is the Hardest Word

It seemed like yesterday when they first told me that they are going to leave with their parents, to relocate to another country due to work and career opportunities.
It seemed like yesterday when I met these adorable nieces and nephew of hubby, and made friends with them
They are just so chirpy and playful around me, and yeah, they can get a little overexcited sometimes but they are just so much fun to be around

I can't believe how time flew past us; in a blink of an eye, the date for them to depart to the airport and begin their new life is here.
After a scrumptious meal and family gathering over the weekend, Monday was here and luggage were all packed (after a few weeks of chaos as they have to pack almost everything, what do you expect anyway, when a family is to relocate to another country).

I have known them for more than three years now; and I have watched them grow, and I have gotten used to hearing them scream around the house or just calling me 'aunt' again and again, with that cheeky grins on their faces.

Hubby and I went out shopping on Sunday, the day before they left, just to see whether I can find anything for them to bring along.
It was really difficult and I didn't want to get them anything which could be taking up too much of luggage space as they already had tons of stuffs.

It wasn't really the gifts that mattered, to be honest, but rather, I just wanted a gift for each of them to love and need and that they can be happy with.
I guess, I just wanted to give them a gift; it didn't matter whether they will remember me or not.
The gift must be something they like, and can use, instead of just something fancy.

I found something for each of them; after like, 4-5 hours walking around in the mall!:)
The feeling when I gave them their gifts was just priceless; words simply cannot describe how I truly felt.
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The eldest niece
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They are just so adorable!:)
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I am going to miss them!!!
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On Tuesday, when we finally got home for dinner, we were hit by the reality that the kids were really gone as the whole house was just so quiet.
Usually when I get home, the kids would be opening the main door and running out to me, yakking about their antics and how they have this new toy/TV show...and since Tuesday, nothing...

The day we sent them to the airport was equally emotional, as I watched sister-in-law bidding tearful goodbyes to her family and friends and I just couldn't bear to look.
I just can't look at people crying or with tears in their eyes, as I just would break down myself.
I had just started to get to know sister-in-law, and it would look so weird if I were sobbing uncontrollably, and furthermore, I didn't want to make her even more emotional.
I hope she liked the gift I got her :)

I am definitely missing these kids now..
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People say that Sorry is one of the hardest word to say, but seriously, I think Goodbyes are just equally as hard...
Well, we are going to meet again in a couple of weeks, and there's always Internet :)

All the best to the family, and may they be blessed with goodness and happiness!~

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

All the way to Taiping

There was Chinese saying that, "Having at least one TRUE friend in your life makes one lives with no regrets"

For me, I am blessed to have more than one TRUE friend in my life and I am truly thankful for the presence of these wonderful people around me.
After my wedding, we were looking forward to another close girl friend (part of our sisterhood)'s wedding :)
Her wedding was supposed to be in Taiping, but that was never a problem for this group of friends who traveled everywhere; near and far for anyone they considered a friend and what's more when this is one in our sisterhood!

The door games played that morning
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The guys were a sporting bunch! *THUMBS UP*
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(They were making the "I LOVE YOU " pose)

They were just so hilarious!! Laughter is indeed the best medicine :D
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Random shots of my friends :)
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Dinner
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My best girl friends; they're pretty much like sisters to me :)
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Group Photo
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The beautiful Bride
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The bride and groom
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Wishing them all the happiness in the world and may they live happily ever after!:)
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My month of November

Hanging out with the best of my friends; and having them around just makes my life happier :-)
There is one whom I did not take a photo of, but rest assured, Abi, you are not forgotten!
Also, another bestie was in labor and had delivered, and was not available but also, Shirley, you are always there on my mind and in my heart and I totally love you!

Joyce is one of my best friends from university, and we still are until today and for many many more years to come.
Whenever I need to talk to someone or just have faith in me, she is the first to come to mind.
She is ALWAYS, and I really mean always, the one who trusts in me and will never ever doubt me. She is like the ultimate best girl friend any girl could have!:)
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I felt so much better after talking to you Joyce babe, and I hope we are meeting up again soon!;)

If Joyce was the best girl friend one could have, Sook Yee is the best sister one could have.
We met in high school and bonded ever since. Sook Yee and I never needed to call or talk to each other, we just know when we each need a hug or the shoulder to lean on each other.
She's the strong pillar who held me whenever I am weak, and she will never ever judge me. She is one to stand up for me even when the whole world is against me; no question asked and for that, I just LOVE her!:)
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Having close friends like these is definitely the most awesome thing in life, and I am thankful to God that I have not just one or two or three, but I have a few GROUPS.
This is the Sister/Brotherhood, who are always there for each other :)
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This is not the whole group just yet, as most of them were not able to make it and there are some who are working elsewhere.
These people are the best brothers/sisters anyone could ever have ;)
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To top all that off, I have a bunch of post wedding gifts from my awesome friends.
It was all a beautiful month for me, and I will post on December soon ;)

Monday, December 12, 2011

The Art of Giving

The art of giving is always a beautiful thing and is one that not a lot of people in this world can master or comprehend, to say the very least.
Most may not believe it, as they believe that they are always giving to others and that they are the masters of givers, but NO, that is not the mere definition of giving.

It is again, the season of giving; well, there is no specific season for real giving anyway, as one can give at any time of the year but I was just connecting it to the festivity surrounding as Christmas looms near.

Giving is something that is easy to say but not that easy to be done, despite the perceptions of many who think they have been giving a lot to others and that they are above others whom they considered as the ones who are 'selfish'.
However, what truly constitutes as giving?

A real giving is without any string attached; there should not be any condition imposed when you really give.
A real giver gives because they want to, not because they HAVE to or NEED to, as required.
A gift from someone's heart can be felt by the receiver, and it is just pure and sincere.

Sadly, not everyone does this as most strives to be charitable and it seemed to be more like a competition rather than a real act of giving.
There are a lot of people who give because it is an expectation of them, and they do not want to appear like they are selfish as it could tarnish their self-image in front of others.
Deep inside, they may not really want to, but at the same time, they are struggling with the possibility of being labeled as a cheapskate or a scrooge and they do not want such an image.
It is like there is this battle they are having with their own self.

People who did not give freely and under such conditions, usually will feel void inside and not fully happy. They tend to expect the receiver to be reciprocate their giving by giving back.
For example, if the giver gave a vase to the receiver which is valued at more than a few hundred bucks, and the receiver also returned another gift but is priced only 10 bucks, the first giver would be so pissed and annoyed and judge that the receiver is such a cheapskate.
However, in the first place, if you are just going to give, for goodness sake, DON'T EXPECT!
I get tired of how some people judge you by what or how much of a gift you have for them, after what or ALL they have done for you.
In the first place, you could have said NO? (Look up the definition of the word in the dictionary if you don't know)

I hate it when you ask people for help and they're like, "Of course, that's what friends/family are for!"
Yeah, right, and then once they are there to help you, they start to judge you by what you do for them, or whether you arrange this or that for them and start complaining that you are such an ungrateful person. Yes, just because you don't meet their expectations of what you SHOULD be doing.
It is funny, and I find the whole thing just absurd and freaking hilarious because these folks are just so full of themselves that they don't even realize it and they thought of themselves as saints or angels and that people ought to worship the ground they walk on.

Yes, people like these do exist and you'd be surprised that no one is an exception, even those who claimed that they are religious and strong in their faith.
People who pray continuously, attend masses in church, go to temples, read the Bible, join prayer groups, volunteer at the churches/temples, joining charity and fund raising activities, are a few, who are also, not excluded from the above examples, which is what made it all the more ridiculous as these people preach to others to give, give and give.

It is what is being taught in religions that we should find the joy in giving more than receiving, and it is true, IF you truly understand the real art of giving.

People who go to church/temple complain about people who don't do the same as them, but let me ask you this, if you are doing it willingly, why do you need to care if others do the same?
People who give/help when others ask but complain when they are declined the help they need when it's their turn and they turn to bitch about those so-called 'ungrateful idiots' but hey, if you give with your heart, you won't even remember who are the ones you gave because you wanted to give to them.

People who appear when you ask them to, but then expect you to answerable and that there should be a proper reward or compensation. If you ask me, I'd rather they don't appear at all.

Giving is NOT about obligation, it is a natural act of kindness and it must truly come from the heart. It is like the fundamental principle of giving, and more people should really try to understand what it means to give before giving, and not just to fulfill some general perception or expectation.

It is better to give with the heart and without expectation, or just don't give at all.
It doesn't matter if people think you are just selfish or mean, because either way, you just can't please everyone and don't give if you don't want to.
Just do everyone a favor, and don't, because nobody wants to hear about your misery when your recipient does not reciprocate.

Indeed, the art of giving is a truly an art, or a skill, which many has yet to grasp...

I wonder why...?

I thought of how people will never go to a certain extent of meanness

I think that people will understand and accept me for who I am

Relatives choose to make your lives miserable

Some people have such great relatives

People want to compare to others, like, ALL the time

Invitations are not treated with honor and privileges but rather with a burden

Friendship is judged based on what you can do and the $$$ you offer

People ask what you can offer/give when they did not ask themselves what they can offer first

Some regard themselves as always ABOVE you

Friends who are supposed to understand you question you

Just some $$$ can tell the differences between the TRUE friends and those who are supposed to be true friends

Some just envy others for what they DON'T have but not look at what they have themselves

Some can just get angry and behave childishly in front of others

Some do not respect others

Relatives make you feel worst when you are supposed to be happy

I just wonder WHY there are so many weird and crappy people around, but I think I already know the answer...so that we can see the wonderful and LOVELY people who exists among them! :-)

Bronze lining and guardian angels...

For the past few weeks (or months), I have been avoiding this blog because I just didn't know what I really want to write about.
It's not that I am having writer's block nor that nothing happened at all in my life, but it's just that I was struggling to deal with a lot of emotions and things going through my mind and I just find it so difficult to pen them down in my journal.

It has been a rough journey in my mind, and one that I took to the depth of my hearts. I have slowly opened up and confided in my closest loved ones; and of course, my own newly wed hubby.
He is my best friend and the person I could trust with all my secrets and thoughts; never mind the old saying that a woman should not tell her husband everything.
It was good having someone around who understands, besides my own family who cared about me more than anything else in the world.

For the past few months, I have been surrounded by bliss and happiness after my own wedding but at the same time, there are also other negative feelings inset which people may not really know.
Feelings of hurt, anger, frustration, disappointment, betrayal, sadness surround me, but the most of all these is disappointment and anger.
Yes, it is funny because I am never one who allows anger to just get right to me, but I just could not help it this round.
I have lost faith in some people along the way as well, and it is just contributing to the disappointment part.

I like to keep things bottled up, and this is no exception but the more the contents grew in the bottle, I suddenly felt like talking to people and my hubby and family are the first, followed by my most trusted girl friends (those I really really trust NOW and are my TRUE friends; actually more like sisters)

A lot of the things which happened probably started since I embarked on my wedding planning last year, although I often question whether things have always been this way all the while and that I was just too dumb to realize it.
People change as time changes, but not to this extent? I have been eluded by all their appearances all this while?
Maybe I have been warned beforehand by a lot of people who truly cared about me, but I just chose to follow my own path and not simply believe one side of the story, but NOW, I know they have not been wrong and they have been my real guardian angels all the way.

A long story may start as I slowly unravel my feelings and also some of the ugly truths about some actual characters of people around me (which I may try to cloud a little, although I don't know why I still need to protect their privacy)

Someone said that I seemed to still be living in a fairy tale world, and still behaving in a very naive way and perhaps I was just protected all the time. Well, maybe I was, or maybe I just chose to live in a happy bubble and not just dwell on all the bitterness of the world.
It is a choice to be happy or not, and despite all the above negativity surrounding me, I still let myself escape into a world where I allow myself to be happy. I do that by always believing in God Almighty and that there is always a reason for everything that happens.

I noticed there are people who will never understand that, and these are the people who are often into the comparing mode. They are always looking at what others have and what they themselves don't have, and at the same time, they just cannot comprehend why they are not able to have what others have. To me, that is just not being content with what they already have.
What is the main reason to compare?
Insecurity? Jealousy? Self-satisfaction? Loss of identity? You tell me...

It was appalling learning that there are so many of such people out there, and sad to say, somehow there are a bunch who are somewhat related to me.
Being judgmental is not me, and I don't like to judge but sometimes, there is just a thin line between judging or just feeling and I don't know how can I proceed to talk about this if I don't reveal and it would also all appear like I am judging at the same time.
I don't know, I am getting really confused at this point.
The last few months threw me into a daze as I slowly tried to figure out things and also coming up with reasons why those people behaved that way with me, but sadly, I just could not find reasons enough to justify their actions in any way. It was probably the toughest riddle which I ever had to solve.

It is true that time is the best healer, as now, I am already starting to let go of the past, as my hubby had told me to, and to allow them to take the back seat. It is no point holding onto the grudge because it just makes me unhappy, but I can say that it is NOT easy to forget everything, let alone forgive.
I have been hurt in not just one way, but in so many ways that I wonder whether I have done so much wrong in my life?

Everyone has to go through the ups and downs in their lives, and no one can run away from it.
I am hurt and disappointed not only by one but by so many people, that I have even lost the feeling of pain already. It may not be such a big deal to some other people, and sometimes, to make myself forget the negativity, I always tell myself that if I think I am in misery, what about the others out there who are in worse conditions than me?

Seeing people in their actual skins was a terrifying experience but after a while, it appears to be comforting as I finally know what lies beneath that seemingly perfect appearances. I felt relieved, to say the least, that I am finally not ignorant (that's a nice word, it could equate to being stupid as well) that I am now aware of who the so-called relatives/friends really are.
Comforting? Relieved to say the least.

The silver lining or bronze lining beneath all these is that I know who are the people who are TRUE and whom I can truly count on at any time.
This post is not to talk about the people who have been mean or caused hurt to me; but rather those who I truly treasure for having them in my life, or maybe I don't even know what I really want to talk about in my post here.

Perhaps I just want to release a little from my mind storage which have been clouded for a while now, and I believe will continue to be clouded for some time until I have finally let go of everything, and maybe, every-ONE.

God is always GOOD, as He did not just bring me to a difficult part but He also led me through it and showed me the good part of the difficulty.

Out of all that I have felt; frustration, hurt, anger, hatred, and disappointment, I have also found my own way and discovered the true values of love, faith, trust, and most of all, HOPE.
There is always HOPE, and I will NEVER give up...