My Smurfs

While others are having Smurfs and Smurfette soft toys, I have my own Smurfs too and they are right on the UHU glue sticks I got for my wedding DIY projects.
I think I threw out a whole bunch when they finished and this is like, the last one I have.

You know they are really HUGE when they are appearing on UHU sticks :p



Cute? :)

My Tumblr

Here, hop over for some laughs or light one-liners at my Tumblr

This can be so addictive, I am just posting on so many things in a day, whenever something just pops into my mind!:)
I am officially, addicted to Tumblr! :D

Goodbye is the Hardest Word

It seemed like yesterday when they first told me that they are going to leave with their parents, to relocate to another country due to work and career opportunities.
It seemed like yesterday when I met these adorable nieces and nephew of hubby, and made friends with them
They are just so chirpy and playful around me, and yeah, they can get a little overexcited sometimes but they are just so much fun to be around

I can't believe how time flew past us; in a blink of an eye, the date for them to depart to the airport and begin their new life is here.
After a scrumptious meal and family gathering over the weekend, Monday was here and luggage were all packed (after a few weeks of chaos as they have to pack almost everything, what do you expect anyway, when a family is to relocate to another country).

I have known them for more than three years now; and I have watched them grow, and I have gotten used to hearing them scream around the house or just calling me 'aunt' again and again, with that cheeky grins on their faces.

Hubby and I went out shopping on Sunday, the day before they left, just to see whether I can find anything for them to bring along.
It was really difficult and I didn't want to get them anything which could be taking up too much of luggage space as they already had tons of stuffs.

It wasn't really the gifts that mattered, to be honest, but rather, I just wanted a gift for each of them to love and need and that they can be happy with.
I guess, I just wanted to give them a gift; it didn't matter whether they will remember me or not.
The gift must be something they like, and can use, instead of just something fancy.

I found something for each of them; after like, 4-5 hours walking around in the mall!:)
The feeling when I gave them their gifts was just priceless; words simply cannot describe how I truly felt.


The eldest niece


They are just so adorable!:)


I am going to miss them!!!


On Tuesday, when we finally got home for dinner, we were hit by the reality that the kids were really gone as the whole house was just so quiet.
Usually when I get home, the kids would be opening the main door and running out to me, yakking about their antics and how they have this new toy/TV show...and since Tuesday, nothing...

The day we sent them to the airport was equally emotional, as I watched sister-in-law bidding tearful goodbyes to her family and friends and I just couldn't bear to look.
I just can't look at people crying or with tears in their eyes, as I just would break down myself.
I had just started to get to know sister-in-law, and it would look so weird if I were sobbing uncontrollably, and furthermore, I didn't want to make her even more emotional.
I hope she liked the gift I got her :)

I am definitely missing these kids now..


People say that Sorry is one of the hardest word to say, but seriously, I think Goodbyes are just equally as hard...
Well, we are going to meet again in a couple of weeks, and there's always Internet :)

All the best to the family, and may they be blessed with goodness and happiness!~

All the way to Taiping

There was Chinese saying that, "Having at least one TRUE friend in your life makes one lives with no regrets"

For me, I am blessed to have more than one TRUE friend in my life and I am truly thankful for the presence of these wonderful people around me.
After my wedding, we were looking forward to another close girl friend (part of our sisterhood)'s wedding :)
Her wedding was supposed to be in Taiping, but that was never a problem for this group of friends who traveled everywhere; near and far for anyone they considered a friend and what's more when this is one in our sisterhood!

The door games played that morning




The guys were a sporting bunch! *THUMBS UP*

(They were making the "I LOVE YOU " pose)

They were just so hilarious!! Laughter is indeed the best medicine :D


Random shots of my friends :)



Dinner



My best girl friends; they're pretty much like sisters to me :)





Group Photo


The beautiful Bride


The bride and groom


Wishing them all the happiness in the world and may they live happily ever after!:)

My month of November

Hanging out with the best of my friends; and having them around just makes my life happier :-)
There is one whom I did not take a photo of, but rest assured, Abi, you are not forgotten!
Also, another bestie was in labor and had delivered, and was not available but also, Shirley, you are always there on my mind and in my heart and I totally love you!

Joyce is one of my best friends from university, and we still are until today and for many many more years to come.
Whenever I need to talk to someone or just have faith in me, she is the first to come to mind.
She is ALWAYS, and I really mean always, the one who trusts in me and will never ever doubt me. She is like the ultimate best girl friend any girl could have!:)


I felt so much better after talking to you Joyce babe, and I hope we are meeting up again soon!;)

If Joyce was the best girl friend one could have, Sook Yee is the best sister one could have.
We met in high school and bonded ever since. Sook Yee and I never needed to call or talk to each other, we just know when we each need a hug or the shoulder to lean on each other.
She's the strong pillar who held me whenever I am weak, and she will never ever judge me. She is one to stand up for me even when the whole world is against me; no question asked and for that, I just LOVE her!:)



Having close friends like these is definitely the most awesome thing in life, and I am thankful to God that I have not just one or two or three, but I have a few GROUPS.
This is the Sister/Brotherhood, who are always there for each other :)

This is not the whole group just yet, as most of them were not able to make it and there are some who are working elsewhere.
These people are the best brothers/sisters anyone could ever have ;)


To top all that off, I have a bunch of post wedding gifts from my awesome friends.
It was all a beautiful month for me, and I will post on December soon ;)

The Art of Giving

The art of giving is always a beautiful thing and is one that not a lot of people in this world can master or comprehend, to say the very least.
Most may not believe it, as they believe that they are always giving to others and that they are the masters of givers, but NO, that is not the mere definition of giving.

It is again, the season of giving; well, there is no specific season for real giving anyway, as one can give at any time of the year but I was just connecting it to the festivity surrounding as Christmas looms near.

Giving is something that is easy to say but not that easy to be done, despite the perceptions of many who think they have been giving a lot to others and that they are above others whom they considered as the ones who are 'selfish'.
However, what truly constitutes as giving?

A real giving is without any string attached; there should not be any condition imposed when you really give.
A real giver gives because they want to, not because they HAVE to or NEED to, as required.
A gift from someone's heart can be felt by the receiver, and it is just pure and sincere.

Sadly, not everyone does this as most strives to be charitable and it seemed to be more like a competition rather than a real act of giving.
There are a lot of people who give because it is an expectation of them, and they do not want to appear like they are selfish as it could tarnish their self-image in front of others.
Deep inside, they may not really want to, but at the same time, they are struggling with the possibility of being labeled as a cheapskate or a scrooge and they do not want such an image.
It is like there is this battle they are having with their own self.

People who did not give freely and under such conditions, usually will feel void inside and not fully happy. They tend to expect the receiver to be reciprocate their giving by giving back.
For example, if the giver gave a vase to the receiver which is valued at more than a few hundred bucks, and the receiver also returned another gift but is priced only 10 bucks, the first giver would be so pissed and annoyed and judge that the receiver is such a cheapskate.
However, in the first place, if you are just going to give, for goodness sake, DON'T EXPECT!
I get tired of how some people judge you by what or how much of a gift you have for them, after what or ALL they have done for you.
In the first place, you could have said NO? (Look up the definition of the word in the dictionary if you don't know)

I hate it when you ask people for help and they're like, "Of course, that's what friends/family are for!"
Yeah, right, and then once they are there to help you, they start to judge you by what you do for them, or whether you arrange this or that for them and start complaining that you are such an ungrateful person. Yes, just because you don't meet their expectations of what you SHOULD be doing.
It is funny, and I find the whole thing just absurd and freaking hilarious because these folks are just so full of themselves that they don't even realize it and they thought of themselves as saints or angels and that people ought to worship the ground they walk on.

Yes, people like these do exist and you'd be surprised that no one is an exception, even those who claimed that they are religious and strong in their faith.
People who pray continuously, attend masses in church, go to temples, read the Bible, join prayer groups, volunteer at the churches/temples, joining charity and fund raising activities, are a few, who are also, not excluded from the above examples, which is what made it all the more ridiculous as these people preach to others to give, give and give.

It is what is being taught in religions that we should find the joy in giving more than receiving, and it is true, IF you truly understand the real art of giving.

People who go to church/temple complain about people who don't do the same as them, but let me ask you this, if you are doing it willingly, why do you need to care if others do the same?
People who give/help when others ask but complain when they are declined the help they need when it's their turn and they turn to bitch about those so-called 'ungrateful idiots' but hey, if you give with your heart, you won't even remember who are the ones you gave because you wanted to give to them.

People who appear when you ask them to, but then expect you to answerable and that there should be a proper reward or compensation. If you ask me, I'd rather they don't appear at all.

Giving is NOT about obligation, it is a natural act of kindness and it must truly come from the heart. It is like the fundamental principle of giving, and more people should really try to understand what it means to give before giving, and not just to fulfill some general perception or expectation.

It is better to give with the heart and without expectation, or just don't give at all.
It doesn't matter if people think you are just selfish or mean, because either way, you just can't please everyone and don't give if you don't want to.
Just do everyone a favor, and don't, because nobody wants to hear about your misery when your recipient does not reciprocate.

Indeed, the art of giving is a truly an art, or a skill, which many has yet to grasp...

I wonder why...?

I thought of how people will never go to a certain extent of meanness

I think that people will understand and accept me for who I am

Relatives choose to make your lives miserable

Some people have such great relatives

People want to compare to others, like, ALL the time

Invitations are not treated with honor and privileges but rather with a burden

Friendship is judged based on what you can do and the $$$ you offer

People ask what you can offer/give when they did not ask themselves what they can offer first

Some regard themselves as always ABOVE you

Friends who are supposed to understand you question you

Just some $$$ can tell the differences between the TRUE friends and those who are supposed to be true friends

Some just envy others for what they DON'T have but not look at what they have themselves

Some can just get angry and behave childishly in front of others

Some do not respect others

Relatives make you feel worst when you are supposed to be happy

I just wonder WHY there are so many weird and crappy people around, but I think I already know the answer...so that we can see the wonderful and LOVELY people who exists among them! :-)

Bronze lining and guardian angels...

For the past few weeks (or months), I have been avoiding this blog because I just didn't know what I really want to write about.
It's not that I am having writer's block nor that nothing happened at all in my life, but it's just that I was struggling to deal with a lot of emotions and things going through my mind and I just find it so difficult to pen them down in my journal.

It has been a rough journey in my mind, and one that I took to the depth of my hearts. I have slowly opened up and confided in my closest loved ones; and of course, my own newly wed hubby.
He is my best friend and the person I could trust with all my secrets and thoughts; never mind the old saying that a woman should not tell her husband everything.
It was good having someone around who understands, besides my own family who cared about me more than anything else in the world.

For the past few months, I have been surrounded by bliss and happiness after my own wedding but at the same time, there are also other negative feelings inset which people may not really know.
Feelings of hurt, anger, frustration, disappointment, betrayal, sadness surround me, but the most of all these is disappointment and anger.
Yes, it is funny because I am never one who allows anger to just get right to me, but I just could not help it this round.
I have lost faith in some people along the way as well, and it is just contributing to the disappointment part.

I like to keep things bottled up, and this is no exception but the more the contents grew in the bottle, I suddenly felt like talking to people and my hubby and family are the first, followed by my most trusted girl friends (those I really really trust NOW and are my TRUE friends; actually more like sisters)

A lot of the things which happened probably started since I embarked on my wedding planning last year, although I often question whether things have always been this way all the while and that I was just too dumb to realize it.
People change as time changes, but not to this extent? I have been eluded by all their appearances all this while?
Maybe I have been warned beforehand by a lot of people who truly cared about me, but I just chose to follow my own path and not simply believe one side of the story, but NOW, I know they have not been wrong and they have been my real guardian angels all the way.

A long story may start as I slowly unravel my feelings and also some of the ugly truths about some actual characters of people around me (which I may try to cloud a little, although I don't know why I still need to protect their privacy)

Someone said that I seemed to still be living in a fairy tale world, and still behaving in a very naive way and perhaps I was just protected all the time. Well, maybe I was, or maybe I just chose to live in a happy bubble and not just dwell on all the bitterness of the world.
It is a choice to be happy or not, and despite all the above negativity surrounding me, I still let myself escape into a world where I allow myself to be happy. I do that by always believing in God Almighty and that there is always a reason for everything that happens.

I noticed there are people who will never understand that, and these are the people who are often into the comparing mode. They are always looking at what others have and what they themselves don't have, and at the same time, they just cannot comprehend why they are not able to have what others have. To me, that is just not being content with what they already have.
What is the main reason to compare?
Insecurity? Jealousy? Self-satisfaction? Loss of identity? You tell me...

It was appalling learning that there are so many of such people out there, and sad to say, somehow there are a bunch who are somewhat related to me.
Being judgmental is not me, and I don't like to judge but sometimes, there is just a thin line between judging or just feeling and I don't know how can I proceed to talk about this if I don't reveal and it would also all appear like I am judging at the same time.
I don't know, I am getting really confused at this point.
The last few months threw me into a daze as I slowly tried to figure out things and also coming up with reasons why those people behaved that way with me, but sadly, I just could not find reasons enough to justify their actions in any way. It was probably the toughest riddle which I ever had to solve.

It is true that time is the best healer, as now, I am already starting to let go of the past, as my hubby had told me to, and to allow them to take the back seat. It is no point holding onto the grudge because it just makes me unhappy, but I can say that it is NOT easy to forget everything, let alone forgive.
I have been hurt in not just one way, but in so many ways that I wonder whether I have done so much wrong in my life?

Everyone has to go through the ups and downs in their lives, and no one can run away from it.
I am hurt and disappointed not only by one but by so many people, that I have even lost the feeling of pain already. It may not be such a big deal to some other people, and sometimes, to make myself forget the negativity, I always tell myself that if I think I am in misery, what about the others out there who are in worse conditions than me?

Seeing people in their actual skins was a terrifying experience but after a while, it appears to be comforting as I finally know what lies beneath that seemingly perfect appearances. I felt relieved, to say the least, that I am finally not ignorant (that's a nice word, it could equate to being stupid as well) that I am now aware of who the so-called relatives/friends really are.
Comforting? Relieved to say the least.

The silver lining or bronze lining beneath all these is that I know who are the people who are TRUE and whom I can truly count on at any time.
This post is not to talk about the people who have been mean or caused hurt to me; but rather those who I truly treasure for having them in my life, or maybe I don't even know what I really want to talk about in my post here.

Perhaps I just want to release a little from my mind storage which have been clouded for a while now, and I believe will continue to be clouded for some time until I have finally let go of everything, and maybe, every-ONE.

God is always GOOD, as He did not just bring me to a difficult part but He also led me through it and showed me the good part of the difficulty.

Out of all that I have felt; frustration, hurt, anger, hatred, and disappointment, I have also found my own way and discovered the true values of love, faith, trust, and most of all, HOPE.
There is always HOPE, and I will NEVER give up...

♪♪ Music of my heart ♪♪

I have just completed writing a long post on my special little wedding gift from my girl friends; and yet I am still compelled to write this post in my life journal to show how touched I am and how meaningful this little gift is to me.
You can check out the inspiring story here

I won't be writing the same thing all over again; as that would mean reading two same posts and it does not seem to be logical.
Anyway, I just wanted to talk about this rather from a personal point of view compared to the inspiring blog post in my inspirational blog shared above; which I shared about a more general point of view.
So, don't be surprised to see this same photo appearing on two blogs at the same time.

I won't go through the lengths of explaining the origin of this gift all over again, as I have already shared it in my blog above but I want to talk about the worth and meaning of this little gift to me.

A gift from a close friend, but one of the most touching and dearest thing that I have ever received.
When I looked at this little piano sitting in my bedroom, I was filled with images of my dear friends who got me this gift and I imagined their expressions and giggles as they discussed about me, my wedding and my gift behind me when they were planning to get me a gift.

These friends went to the extent of getting it from overseas; assigning it to the girl who was traveling to Taiwan at that time and I am amazed at how she could fit the gift searching into her busy schedule during her trip!
It is not an easy thing to do, and it takes a lot of effort and of course, enthusiasm, to be able to embark on this gift-searching journey.
I was truly touched and impressed with their diligence, and how important I must have been to them when they can just put me in their thoughts all the time.

A gift may mean just a gift to a lot of other people, but a gift means the world to me. I used to love receiving presents since I was a little girl, I mean, who doesn't?

Whenever I receive a present, I always look forward to unwrap to see what could possibly be inside that box.
I love mystery and surprises, and once I see the present within, I will always, yeah, always, think of the giver and his/her original intentions for me or what the gift means to me.

The little piano is a musical box, which just adds to my musical box collection but looking at it makes me think of my friends who got this gift for me.
Some of you may just brush this off as a usual and simple gift, but knowing me, this truly means something to me, and I am pleased that my friends thought of that!

What could possibly be in this gift that makes it so special?
Well, the story behind it for one, and the fact that it is from my beloved girl friends; that's a second.
Now, on to the details, the piano and the musical box does symbolize something to me.

I have always loved musical boxes; it is true, I have always had a soft spot for musical boxes. I didn't have a lot, but that doesn't mean I am not content with what I have because I already have a few which are very special to me, and some are even vintage-like; passed down to me by my dearest Mummy.
I remembered making a little musical box back then for a school and examination project, and I was really happy with the outcome.
Musical box is such a lovely thing; with its melody singing when you turn it on and I have always loved listening to this music.

It is amazing how music can be such a soothing thing to our ears, and also our hearts. I find that the musical box can be a reminder of how life is like sometimes. There is always love notes around us, but we need to find it and turn it on. Life is just like a musical box, when you turn it on, you listen to the inspiring and haunting melody and get carried away, dreaming of all the beautiful things in life until it stops. That is where you realize you need to step back into reality almost instantly.
We cannot expect the music to be constantly playing; just like how we cannot always expect our life to be full of lovely things because that is not real.
We have to go through the ups and downs in life; it is inevitable but like the musical box, we can always choose to turn on the music which is just similar to us looking at the good parts of life when we are down and enjoy those moments.
The thing is, we can do something to amend our mood; to make ourselves happy again. No one is responsible for our happiness except ourselves, don't you think?
That is the part I truly love about a musical box.

Secondly, moving onto the piano; it is amazing but I don't recall I told a lot of people about my secret love for music, and musical instruments. It is bizarre, but the piano happens to be a childhood favorite of mine and I have stuck with it ever since. I loved the piano, and it always have such a haunting effect on me. I felt like I am very familiar with the piano, like it's something just so dear to me.
I can't even remember whether I have ever told my girl friends about this, but if I have not, then they have truly earned their titles of being my sisters for reading my mind so accurately on this one.

The third part is about the details on the piano. Those who know me know that I am a very detailed person and that can turn into a very annoying trait at times too.
I am impressed at how my 'sisters' know and remembered that much about me to take the time and effort to select a gift which is just filled with these little details as this wooden piano is not made of ordinary craftsmanship, but with so much attention and definitely the work of an artisan! I was totally taken with the details of the little piano which came along with a mini stool (also crafted), and the fact that there is even a lid on the keyboard.
It is almost like a miniature version of an actual piano! It is no wonder, since my friend got it from a miniature museum *winks*

Anyway, this gift means a lot to me obviously, and I just can't find ways to describe it enough; even after writing about it in two blogs!
Besides the meaning of the gifts, I am thinking of my givers and what must have ran through their minds when they got me this particular gift.

I was feeling really loved at the moment, when I met up with them and received this present from them. There are still other presents, but of course, those will be separate posts.
I am truly happy with this little gift, it is to me, a gift which had journeyed through a long way; not just physically, but also psychologically.
It opened up my eyes to the true natures of my girl friends, who are always there for me and whom I know, are always watching my back, no matter what happens.

They wanted me to have this gift, because they know this is something which I will love, and they are not wrong.
Yet, what they didn't expect was how emotional this gift made me feel when I got it ;)

It is not just a gift, but it created music and love notes in my heart, as it made me feel so loved....♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

A Little on Friendship

We have friends from the day we were born; when we were placed in the newborn nursery, we were already surrounded by other babies.
That time, maybe we didn't realize or remember, but we were already making friends unknowingly using our own baby 'cries'/

Then we make friends with our neighbors' children, and people we meet at restaurants or during outings with our parents at the park.

The official friends we make started at our first day in the kindergarten and pre-school, where we meet other children there, share stories about everything and it was just so innocent and there is no barrier to anything in our friendship.
When we moved on to primary school, some, if not most, of us will part ways as our parents enroll us in different schools.

Some of us may meet in primary schools, and some, may not, as we move on and sit at our new assigned desks in our classes in our 'new' school. It did not take long, as we are surrounded by hundreds of kids at our age and facing the same predicament and thus, we became friends.
These friends tend to linger around longer, as our years in primary school last for six years and most of us will remain friends.
It is very unlikely that we will break out of that friendship cocoon unless someone moves away from the district and had to change schools.

Farewell comes again when we are moving on to our high school (or secondary school in Malaysia), and we may encounter some of our primary school friends in the same school, or we may not, but then again, we will not forget those friends of six years and will thus make an effort to keep in touch. This contact may take a lot of effort as we are now, again, surrounded by new groups of friends who come from different schools within the same region. There may be a discontinuation of connection with our primary school friends when we are absorbed in our studies and also school extra curricular work.

Slowly, we lose touch with the old friends, or some of us, we may come across the older friends from kindergarten even! Life is full of surprises anyway.
The friends from high school are for another six years, and then we bid farewell as we move onto the college, university, and for some, working level.

As you can see, we make friends all the way; no matter how introvert we are of a character, there is just no way to stop ourselves or others from marking that part of our lives.
Friends are always there and they are everywhere, we just make them.

I noticed that friendships seem to last longer when you grow older; perhaps because you start to realize and treasure the value of friendship.
Of course, some of us are fortunate enough to have friends from all parts of our lives and to have them for a long duration of time.

I feel blessed to have friends whom I have known since kindergarten! Yes, that's how long our friendships were and I have great friends from primary school, high school, university, and work!
My friendships were formed from all the levels I have mentioned earlier.

Now, what truly defines a friendship, or are whoever we meet, greet and have their names and talked to a couple of times considered friends already?
I used to think the latter, honestly, and some, tell me that I was just living in Lala-land, and I guess it was just so true.
I am not as crazy as to think that everyone I meet or have some short form of contact are considered friends, but I try not to categorize my friends and just treat everyone the same; as I just wanted everyone to be happy.

I have my own little character, and maybe to some, it may seem weird, but I am not someone who opens up a lot, and yet am an ultimate perfectionist who seeks to do a lot of things on her own.
It is not easy for me to just blabber everything about my life to anyone; except my own family (that means my parents and my brother) and it is just ME.
Yes, I AM like that. I can make friends easily, but at the same time, it takes time for me to trust and to be close to someone to be able to open up and just have fun.
I don't tell everyone what I think, or what I want to do, because I am a person who likes to keep to myself.
It is just me, but I don't need to justify, because my family knows that part about me, and there are times when I don't tell them things when I am not ready.
They know that, and they always leave me to my own personal space, letting me deal with it.
It is not really that much of an unusual trait; as I believe there are people out there who are like me as well.
Some people may label us 'secretive', but really, what's wrong in being that?
There are people who talks about their lives to other people, and nobody judges them, at all, but yet, sometimes, they judge other people about keeping quiet.

I think there are just people who are quiet, and people who are open in their communication. It is a fundamental which most people fail to grasp, or even attempt to understand.
It is no surprise, as it is not an easy subject to broach anyway, and there are just so many things surrounding us that we can never label whether they are right or wrong.

I always believed in having friends who know me for who I am, and if not, well, I don't need to tell them much.
Of course, all the knowing me part takes years of friendship and understanding and definitely bonding.
It is a choice, when you befriend me, whether you can accept or understand me as who I am. Otherwise, I cannot really force anyone to just treat me as their friend, if they cannot comprehend what constitutes me.

I have formed fast and strong friendships with people whom I have grown to trust. As I have mentioned, I used to believe and trust people whom I call my friends, and I have never been like some, who categorize their friends or selective in their choices of people whom they call friends.

However, perhaps it was time, or perhaps it was me, being naive as I have suddenly realized that being selective with your friends is not totally wrong after all.
Friends come in all forms and shapes, and not all, I repeat, not all are truly sincere in their friendships with you.
I have collected a lot of quotes and sayings about friendships; or to be precise, TRUE friends.
The TRUE friends rank the highest among all friendships as they are the ones to stick around you, no matter what happens.
I have learnt to only maintain TRUE friends, as they are the only ones who will never turn their backs on me, and they are rare, and precious!

I think I have learnt from a lot of experiences; particularly, the most recent one, that the TRUE friends do not need any explanation from you in whatever you do, or whether you are right or wrong. They will probably tell you, but they will NEVER, judge you.

When the whole world turns against you, and everyone talks about you, your TRUE friends, will not hear of it, and will STAND UP for you; not against you.
I have a bunch of friends who did not care what I did, nor whether I was wrong or right, and did not judge me, but still stood with me through and through.
They never even complained a single word when I asked for their help.

Some, whom I may think were older friends as we met way before the above friends, on the contrary, chose to sideline me and think that I am not being a friend to them either. I am not pinpointing anyone nor am I saying that I am the Best friend in the world, as I do admit that I am never truly perfect in my own way of handling my friendships, but there are friends who think that I have changed or that I don't care for them.
I didn't keep in touch, nor did I contact them and therefore, they no longer feel that they are close to me.
Well, I won't defend myself in this, as truly, sometimes I just am not that good in keeping in touch, and besides there are just so many people to catch up with that sometimes I did not have the time to; which is, an excuse.
However, I felt like asking these friends, "have they ever tried to contact or make an attempt to keep in touch with me, or they just jump to the conclusion that I am the ONE who did NOT keep in touch with them?
Did they ever ask or try to find out, why, did I not keep in touch with some of them?
Is there really a right or wrong answer?

I beat myself up for this initially, telling myself that it was probably my own fault, and that I am not good in keeping in contact.
Then I was awakened by another few groups of friends (yes, groups), whom, I have not met nor talked to in years, and yet, they just offered their help or even just said yes when I called or asked them. These TRUE friends did not even berate me for not being in touch with them, nor did they say that they no longer felt close to me.
I was instantly surprised and felt like, it was a total change from the original picture painted by those other friends, which sort of imprisoned me behind the bars of guilt for a few days.

These true friends, when contacted, just caught up with me naturally from where we left off; like it was just yesterday. They heard rumors about me, and the first thing they did, was to defend me and fend those perpetrators off. I was truly touched at the depth of their faith in me, despite the long period of time not being in touch.
So, did these friends do something wrong or right? Am I the one in the wrong or right?
It is now becoming a very subjective matter, and I start to ask myself question after question; whether I am truly guilty.

Yes, I did not do my part about being a friend, but I realized that not everyone is being measured using the same standards in the friendship and that there were a lot of my friends who did not even bother to ask me questions, as they know that there will be a time when I will just naturally pour out and talk to them.
When that happens, I will know who to find, as I have seen with my own eyes, mind and heart, the ones who will never let me down.
I think that friendships are subjective as it is truly intangible, and I try not to be biased when I judge my own views in friendship.
I asked other close friends about whether I was truly a lousy friend for not keeping in touch, and I get lots of really constructive feedback such as,
"You are being you",
"What's there to keep in touch? We will meet and talk when we meet and talk",
"There are so many people in our life, we can't possibly keep up with anyone..as long as we are all connected",
"Different people have different views, it does not mean that you are not a friend when you don't keep in touch, because I know you will be there when I need you"
and the list goes on.

I truly felt like crying when I heard those words from my very friends, as I realized that they DO understand me to the depth, when I thought they probably did not know me that well. On the contrary, people whom I thought would know and understand me, ended up as the ones who are judging me and telling me what is right and wrong.
I am not upset really, as there are times when we need to hear an earful about ourselves, but it got me wondering, did these friends truly know me, after all?

I do not want to judge others; I never judge, as no one has the right to judge anyone, I have always remembered that from my Bible.
I believe that in friendships, it is a STAND we all take, and whether others stand with us, that is a true testament of whether they trust and have faith in us; no matter what we do.
I myself, as a friend, will never judge or doubt my friends even if they did anything wrong to me, as I always find a reason for them. Of course, as a human being; I am just as normal to sometimes feel upset, but then I will tell myself, there is probably a reason.
Whether there is or not, I will not choose to find out, as only they know whether there is, or not.

I recently had another very good conversation with a very close friend, whom I have called my sister, and she told me a long story about the whole bunch of girl and guy friends whom we hang out together and it made me realize, these were the rare and true friends whom I am very blessed to have.
They were looking forward to help me in what I do (planning my wedding), as we usually help each other with stuffs in our lives. They never once asked me about it, even with my lack of updates. She told me that they were just concerned whether I am okay handling my own wedding alone, but at the same time, they know that I will ask for help when I really need it, otherwise, it's best to just leave me alone. They felt worried rather than angry with me, and even secretly bought me presents and helping me out behind my backs. They even defended me when others asked about me.
These are truly the most precious friends I have ever had.

Then there are also the other few who tried, by all means, to help me out, and when not approached, just send me their blessings through emails and text messages to make sure I am happy.

What do you do with friends like these? You LOVE, ADORE, and PRAY for them each day that they will be blessed with their true hearts and lots of goodness in their lives.
I am very sure they know who they are, because I truly felt blessed and fortunate to have them in my life, as when I felt like the whole world is judging me or putting me down, they stood there for me, and never once asked me a single question.
Their love and faith in me shines like a halo in the dark.
Perhaps it was truly a silver lining, as I have now seen the halos behind my friends' backs.

I will never feel upset knowing that I am surrounded by friends like these :-)

My favorite friendship quotes:
A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walk out.
- Walter Winchell

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.
- Bernard Meltzer


Best friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway.
- Elbert Hubbard


It takes a long time to grow an old friend.
- John Leonard


Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.


One who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure.


Good friends are like stars…. You don’t always see them, but you know they are always there.


Lots of your friends want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
- Oprah Winfrey


A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have.


A true friend reaches for your hand and touches your heart.


A friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself.
- Jim Morrison


Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don’t say.

My personal favorites:
Never explain yourself. Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it.


The medicine of life is to have true faithful friends.


True friends are like diamonds, precious and rare. False friends are like leaves, found everywhere.


When you look around and your world is crumbling or when you think no one loves you, your best friend is the one to run to you.

Lastly,
If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn’t jump with them, I’d be at the bottom to catch them.

God bless my friends who are always there for me, and please guide me to know them and to be a good friend :-)

The HOT weather

The weather has been scorching hot lately; especially during the day and then dark clouds just appear out of nowhere in the late afternoon and spreads like a thick blanket across the skies which will then be followed by thunder and a heavy rainfall in the evening.

It's a weird weather, but common towards this time of the year as the monsoon period of the east coast. Well, then you may ask, why are we, on the west coast affected with the weather change as well?

The west coast are hit with occasional showers and sun, and those who are located in the northern part are hit with the annual northern wind change; thus the weather change towards the evening.

Although we feel really hot in the afternoon; where I don't even feel like stepping out, no matter the circumstances.
While we are probably complaining about the hot sun drying our grounds each day, I was wondering do we truly welcome the rain?

Not really, even for a rain lover like me. Think, if it were to rain every day, are you sure you are going to be really happy with the weather as well?

Yeah, we can't go out without getting ourselves wet here and there; especially our shoes!
Secondly, we also worry about our laundry not drying properly and that there's probably going to be an odor on clothes which were not properly dried when we wear them, compared to sun dried clothes which are usually crisp and smell of, oh well, the sun, of course!

I guess no matter how the weather changes, we will still complain, either way, because we are just people who expect things to always, yeah, always go our way.
It is funny, when it rains, we complain. When there's sun, we complain.
I mean, seriously, can we just learn to relax ourselves and just take things in a more positive way, to just live the moment?

Yeah right, and this piece of advice and article came from someone who worries constantly about almost, everything!

Have FUN in the SUN :)

Keeping in Touch...

It is nice to keeping in touch with people who have left footprints in your life, and had shown you kindness when you needed them most.
After my wedding, I have found friends who care so much about me that they will go all the way, and I have even made some new friends who showed me so much kindness.

I have been keeping in touch with most of my new found friends; I initiated meeting up with them to catch up and I enjoyed spending my time with them.

It is really nice to keep in touch with these dear friends, and I was even more pleasantly surprised when some initiated the contact!:)

I have made so many new and wonderful friends, and they don't even feel like new friends despite us just knowing each other for a short while.
Some are even my vendors who helped me with my wedding planning, and now, we are FRIENDS :)
I thank the Lord for blessing me with so many wonderful people around me, and how He showed me love and kindness in their eyes.

Today, I have received a text message from another friend who wanted to keep in touch with me and even asked me to meet up with her!
I can't express in words how much her message means to me; I was just so touched and happy!

Friends come in many forms and types; there are those who are only interested because of your popularity or status, some only want you to be added to their Facebook or social network list, some say hi and bye and may only remember you when they need a favor, but there are also those who will want you for life, who will go all the way out for you, who will not let you down when you need them, who will not complain that you are too far away, who will not compare you to others in what you could have done better, who will never need you to explain, who will understand your true character no matter what the world say about you...and the list goes on.

I have friends in all the above categories, and though the ones who just want me for a favor or do not really care about me hurt me, I am thankful that I too have a larger crowd of friends who will go all the way out for me and will never, ever judge me!

I am making new friends, as granted by the Almighty Lord and I know, these are new friends who will fill my life with more colors and kindness :)

I can't wait to catch up with my friends; old and new!:)

Feelings...

There are just so much a girl goes through before, during and after her wedding and everything revolves around feelings, emotions, and thoughts.

Of course, the feelings are mostly positive but there are also times when one could feel confused, worried, anxious, etc, which are all the normal feelings felt by a soon-to-be bride and were often termed as pre-wedding jitters.

However, I rarely felt these jitters and the feelings I felt had no relation to my soon-to-be husband as we were both very much in love. On the contrary, I started discovering a lot of things about people around me and the events which were surrounding me.

It is a very complicated matter, and nobody could have ever imagined what I had gone through because I could not divulge on this openly to protect the privacy of people in my life, no matter how disappointed and frustrated I felt.

There are times when I wonder, should I even bother to take care of their feelings or respect them when they don't even give a damn?
Yes, damn is an extremely strong word in my dictionary which I rarely, if not never, used in my context of language.
I do feel upset with why people behave that way even when all due respect and honor is given to them, and yet they choose to behave in a downright rude or childish way, and these are elders, mind you.
Is respect only for elders, and that they don't have to respect us in return?
Respect, to me, is two-way, and it needs to be earned, not given. Respect could be attached to the rank of the person, whereby we have to respect because of the seniority of the person but there would not be attainment of respect if the other party does not reciprocate.

I have always respected the elders; and with my sincere heart, in whatever I do.
Even when I do wrong, I apologize, because who is ever perfect in their life? I understand, and I respect the different ways people do things and also how some people could never understand what I think. I do, I really do understand and I never allow Anger to come into the way, no matter what people do to me.

However, being human, there are times when I feel like there was just so much injustice and how some people could return kindness with just ignorance, arrogance, and nonchalance with an air of attitude!
When I wondered whether I did anything wrong, then I stopped myself, "Why am I always the one who has to understand? Why, must I be in the wrong when others are upset with me?"
It is a complicated journey, and one which is filled with questions.

I feel hurt and disappointed sometimes, by the behavior of people around me and yet, I still tell myself, "Maybe they have their reasons"
I prayed to God for His guidance, and His comfort, for He Knows about everything; He is our Creator, after all.
There are times when I tell myself, it was probably God's test for me, to see how strong is my faith.

Like the sea, I understand that there are always the ups and downs in life, and how we can land in frustration when things go wrong.
It was probably God's Will, to have us experience the good and the bad (and the ugly) for us to appreciate the good when they come along.

Perhaps it was God's doing all the while, to show me negative parts of some people whom I respect, loved and cared about (or thought so) to make me realize that they don't care in return, and that there were those who were always in the background but they really cared.
God wanted me to appreciate others who were always there for me, by accentuating their halos when I am down.

There is always a reason for everything, and no matter how down I feel about things happening around me or how people don't seem to care, I will continue to pray for God's presence in my life and to show me the light.
Perhaps the silver lining will show up soon; or perhaps it was already there but I just need time to realize it.

I may be disappointed and hurt, but these feelings are also surrounded by happiness and warmth; with the presence of true love, sincerity and kindness existing.
God shows me that there is always HOPE,and LOVE :)

Praise the Lord, whom I owe everything to, and I continue to pray for His blessings every day!

Quote of the Day

I love this quote:

" Never explain yourself.
Your friends don’t need it and
your enemies won’t believe it. "


This quote is just so true; sometimes I feel like I waste my time thinking of what I have done to offend some people, or what I can do to make others happy (at the risk of my own happiness).
However, do people really care?
They may, or they may not.

It is funny how sometimes we go around pleasing everyone around us, except ourselves.
Yes, it's good to be unselfish but the key is, do people really care even when you try your best to make them happy?

I have learnt that sometimes the answer is no; that no matter what I do, I can NEVER EVER please everyone around me.
No matter how good I make things out to be, there is always room for people to find fault with or complain about how I should be doing this and that instead of the one I am doing.

Even when I try to justify, sometimes, I don't feel they want to listen.
There is simply no room for understanding, but I always try to understand when people wrong me.
I am no saint; mind you, I am just as human as anyone can be. I just do not want to judge nor to make things difficult for others.
That is why, even humans make mistakes too.

When I fall down, or do something wrong, I feel that no one understands sometimes; but they are quick to judge without listening or understanding.
Is there always one side of the coin?

Perhaps, I should learn to let go, as the quote above says, if they know me, they know I never meant to hurt anyone.
If they don't know me, then there is no need to justify nor explain.

No one will listen anyway, or believe me.
As for those who know me, well, I don't even need to explain, they already know what I am thinking :-)

Like a wise friend who presented me with another good quote,
"You don't have to care about those who don't care about you, it's a waste of time and energy.
They are NOT worth it.
Focus instead on those who care and love you, they are the ones who deserve your time and attention, because THEY CARE".

Thank you, my dear friends, all of you who have stood by me through good and bad times; who have never once judged nor be offended.
Like I said, I am no saint, and thank you all (friends and family) who never once asked me WHY, WHAT, HOW when I needed my alone time.

Ponder on this quote...you will really love it :)

Thoughts on being Married

Now that I am married, and after a whole one year of planning my own wedding, I feel happy to be entering a new chapter of my life and with a loving soul mate too :)

Most would think that being married is an exciting and adventurous journey for two people to begin their lives together. However, for me (and my hubby), we felt like it was more of a continuation of our journey of love and moving onto understanding more of each other.
We have known each other for more than five years now, and we have grown from acquaintances to best friends and now, we are lifelong soul mates (not just partners).

We are the best of friends, and we have talked about almost everything in both of our lives; from our childhood stories to the depth of our family background. There was simply no prejudice nor discrimination from either part.
We practically left no room for secrets; but of course, there are some privacy for each of us and we totally understand when there are some family stories we could not share, to protect the privacy of those relatives affected and not because we want to hide from each other.
We know everything there is to know about our families, friends and relatives; yes, the good, bad and the ugly.

If you ask me, I didn't feel as though anything changed since we were married 11 days ago (can't believe it's almost two weeks since my own wedding day!)

Yes, our two families have integrated (I am referring to our core families; parents and siblings) although hubby's relatives were just so warm and friendly as well, but our families have known each other and met a couple of times since we were together.
Our parents get along well with each other because both were equally as unbiased in socializing with each other.
They were all friendly and sociable people, and there is no such thing as judgmental nor prejudice on both sides; which I really praise the Lord.
Unlike some of the people who often judge people by their lives, wealth, and even privacy, I am truly thankful that I have a whole new family who accepts and welcomes me with open arms and hearts.

My mother-in-law is a straight-forward person, and is a no-nonsense type, but yet she is just so homey and welcoming to everyone who comes to her home. My father-in-law is a man of few words, but he is an expert in his own field; and highly intellectual! Ask him anything, and he could share tales of his own life experiences which money simply cannot buy.
They are both open-minded and yet sentimental folks at the same time.
It is not much of a trouble to get along with such understanding folks, and I appreciate their consideration and thoughts for the younger generation.

My own parents were just equally as happy to welcome dear hubby into the family, and they have already treated him as their own son since the start. (Yes, they just like him that much:)
We joked that our family is growing!

Since our wedding day, hubby and me have grown even closer to each other and we have learnt to be even more patient and understanding towards each other.
Whenever Hubby sees me in a distant state (yeah, I tend to think of a lot of things, and trust me, even though I am supposed to be in a state of bliss, I too have my worries since my own wedding day, but that would be in a separate post), he would come and give me a hug and just stay silent together with me.
Thank you, Hubby!

He would never ask me question or judges me; in fact, I am truly thankful for his presence and also how he had taught me about little things in life, and even on the behavior and attitudes of different people. He had shown me a different aspect of people and life.

I think I have learnt a lot of things during the planning of the wedding, before the wedding, during the wedding and after wedding. I have also opened my eyes to the realities of life, and WHO some of the people around me really are.
I was disappointed, upset but yet, I thank GOD for showing me through HIS eyes who they truly are.
No, I won't allow myself to get angry with them (although it's really hard), because God will not want me to succumb to anger; which is one of the deadliest sins.

I am thankful for a lot of things in my marriage; my wonderful parents who have walked with me all the way, my brother whom I am truly blessed to have as he never cared for anything else except his own sister throughout the period and he was just extremely patient even when I can succumb to my moody days, my in-laws who were just incredibly understanding and open with everything, and my hubby's relatives who just made married life and integrating into the family so enjoyable.
I have a bunch of new friends now; whom I am truly thankful for their help and presence during my wedding.

I have learnt a thing or two about judgment as well; and I guess, it is not something new but just that I took a long time to realize.

As we are entering into the 2nd week of being married to each other, we are still slowly learning the ropes; not in adapting to each other, but adapting to the extended families we now have :)

We are not just sharing our lives now; but we are joined as one in God's name and in HIS eyes.
My favorite Bible verse which I used in my wedding ceremony:
What God has joined together let no man put asunder.
Matthew 9:16

We are looking forward to our growing love, affection, attention and understanding in each other.
We pray the God will bless and enrich our lives each day :)

This is GOOD! :)

This is forwarded to me via email and I own no rights to this humorous piece, but I just want to share it on my blog to pass the contagious smiles and chuckles around!

Hahahahha....SO TRUE! :)

For One Year...

For the past one year, I have been busy with the planning of my wedding; the most important and biggest event in a girl's life.
I spent time to plan and went through every single detail of my BIG DAY.

Along the process, I have enjoyed putting bits and pieces of my ideas and inspirations together.
I have to admit, one year was a long period but there were times when I wished that the time would just fast forward to the date of the wedding!:-)

Perhaps it was the excitement as well, but I just realized that the one year period also led me to learn a lot about myself, my spouse and our loved ones.
There were the good and bad about everyone, and though I am sad to say, I see them both in each and every one.
It was probably a blessing in disguise, as I am probably still living in the past or the dreamland where I still perceive everyone as the same person they were where we left off, but time and environment has certainly changed everyone around me.
On the other hand, perhaps some of these characteristics existed all the while but I just didn't have the time to see through them or I was purely in denial most of the time.
Either way, my wedding was probably the time to remind me to listen and see past the smiling faces.

That would be another story, and in another different post :)

I have been planning for one whole year, that now that my wedding day is in the past, I start to miss the planning process! I wished I could rewind to the time when I started planning :)
It's funny how I wanted to fast forward before the day came and after it has finally arrived, I wanted to rewind to the starting point.
I guess that is just the ironic part of life!

I have so much to tell and to share about my own experiences, and frankly speaking, I have learnt to select my listener even more carefully now.
I think I have been blinded by my own thoughts for too long now, but I wouldn't say it was all negative.
At least I know where the true hearts and intentions are now :-)

I will be back to my blogging mode soon, as I just have so much to share and to pour out here in cyberspace...a place where no one judges :)
(Maybe that was a wrong statement, as there are cyber tracking and police these days too, right?)

Anyway, I am going to be sharing lots of my thoughts and stories, and I will be updating in my FB page, do join it if you haven't! (Advertising now:p )
My FB page is here

Friday Night...T-G-I-F!

Last Friday Night........T-G-I-F T-G-I-F T-G-I-F
No, I am not insulting your spelling competency...but this is one of Katy Perry's song that I kinda like coz it really injects that Thank God It's Friday mood into the veins!

I liked it when I first heard it on the radio; especially the part where they spell/utter the TGIF in that spelling mode slowly, and repeatedly.
YOOHOOO......party people!:)

I am not going to go and rave about my love for Fridays....sometimes I do wish it rains too, then it'd be perfect...but no, I don't want to spoil it for the party people out there:)

I'd notice that lots of people seem to leave work early on Fridays, as early as 4pm or reaching home even before 4pm.
I mean, do these people even work?
I know it's Friday, and that you don't want to get caught up in the traffic jam (why only on Fridays anyway?), but still, I don't recall myself leaving work that early.

I used to get half-days on Fridays, although I do work full days occasionally and as big a fan I am of Fridays, I seriously never tried to leave work early just to beat the traffic jam because I feel that it is rather unethical to do so.
Alright, I am not judging...I DON'T judge...everyone has their reasons, I know:)

Well, can it, because I am not going to get all tensed up again, after my promise to loosen up and relax a little!:)

soooooo, T-G-I-F everyone...I'm in an especially good mood today:)

♥♥♥♥

Am I TOO tense?

I don't know, but I got that comment from someone recently.
It's been a while since I have heard that, I mean, I am no stranger to that comment as I get that a couple of times (not a LOT, okay).

I used to be really tense, and I thought I'd be better these days.
Turns out, that's not what it really seems like to others.

I guess, I should really think about how tense I am and how tense I get most of the time. Yeah, I tend to worry a lot or just freak out, and it's not good, I do know that.

Tension and anxiety is probably something you cannot hide, I think, and people can tell from my face, or even my smile.
I have to admit, sometimes, I tend to have a lot on my mind and I could be lost in my own thoughts.
(I remember my bestie telling me to loosen up a little...I think she still does!)

*Takes a deep breath*

Yeah, I think I AM...guilty of being too tense, I will relax more and try not to let stuffs weigh me down, I will TRY.

Well, it's Friday at least...hehe...so reason enough to loosen up and just forget about everything...including all the tasks I have been working on.
Oh, I am happy that I have gotten two things ticked off my planning list today...yeah...DONE!:)

Yeah, what happened to loosening up and forgetting everything?
RELAXXXXXXXXXXXX...I WIll!:)



♥♥♥♥

My Month of June~

How's June been for you?
I think I barely felt the whole month; I must have gotten numb or something.

Well, I think it has been pretty uneventful for myself...maybe I should take that back..I have been, like, running around (oh, I meant, rushing around) for errands and tasks to do off my checklist and much I would love for them to sound fun or cool, they are not, really!

Hmmmm...I can't believe it's one week to the end of the month and that July is here soon! Gosh, I am hyperventilating with the sudden realization of the speed of time here.

Now that I have to start writing about what I am busy with that made me oblivious to the fact that June has passed by, my mind suddenly went blank!
I know that I have to attend to a few appointments and phone calls lately; yeah, wedding stuffs again, and that I am in the midst of finalizing lots of things.

Then there are also those obligatory stuffs which I had to do (though I hate it):
1. Renew car insurance
2. Renew road tax

(How come it is one year already??? And...the price of the road tax seemed to have gone up by RM2!!)

Upcoming: something I look forward to...going home, spending time with my family before rushing into planning, and yeah, can't wait to celebrate Father's Day with my awesome Daddy!
(it's not like I only love/pamper him once a year, but who pushes away any reason for celebration anyway?)

So, there, that's my month of June...and yeah, throw in blogging and keeping in touch with virtual friends and my bestie:)

One photo to peek into June!



What have you been up to this month?





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My Life...

I hate it when I neglect my blogs, or when I lose the inspiration/motivation to blog, which shouldn't really happen because writing is like, part of who I really am.

My voice is in my writing and my blogs are just the channels to express or to publish them.
It is in this world that I get to be my own publisher (which is awesome, really!)

Alright, what's a life/personal journal for when it is never updated, right?
(So unfair, all the other blogs get updated, and not this one!)

I have been thinking of what to write here, which, again, I shouldn't have to, because life is well, LIFE!
Maybe I was trying to wait for something impressive to happen, but well, maybe I do have a boring life (time to look into that).

The truth is, I have been battling lots of mind boggling issues lately, and they seem to have invaded my mind and probably my lungs soon.
I have had a lot of stuffs to think about, and to worry about (guess what, the worry bug is still there) and most importantly, to sort out.

So, what's new?
With one more quarter to go for my BIG day (yeah, read wedding - like duh, what else is BIG in a girl's life?), there are lots of miscellaneous stuffs to take care of and sometimes I do hate that meticulous part of me.
I am drowning myself in my own freak outs and disapprovals of what I am doing!~

I am not blaming it on the time factor, because it always comes back to proper time management.
I am taking one step at a time, and tell myself to focus, prioritize and do that divide and conquer thingy which seemed to have calmed my nerves down.

To calm myself and to regain my senses, I read, yeah, I love reading...I have finished a few books since I last took a break and oh, of course, watching tv series from Hong Kong, China, Taiwan, Korea, and ooooh, my favorite American series.

Go to church regularly, keeping in touch with own family, and doing a lousy job keeping in touch with friends (as usual), so nothing's new!
Things that are keeping me occupied for the moment:
1. Wedding plans
2. Wedding plans
3. LIFE

Yeah, I know, I need to get my life...:p

On my checklist, I would need to do some shopping for the Big Day..can't say I am dreading that, but the financials...oh, that will kick in later, right?

Praise the Lord for His presence with me, to calm my nerves!

I don't sound that pathetic...do I? Goshhhhh

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When the lights go out...

This is not a post on another power failure at home, nor am I just posting it as a matter-of-fact kind of subject that, "Hey, poor me, the power's out last night and I couldn't blog, etc etc", then whine and grind over the whole episode, because, THIS is NOT about that.

I am not saying that this post is not about electricity or power shutdown, because it is, but there were some realizations and reflections with regards to the matter.

It has been a really long time since I have experienced power failure, but I would know one when it comes too (not that ignorant just yet).
When the power failure happened in the afternoon, I was a little taken aback, because the computer was running with my CD in it!
Well, just when I was worrying about the unexpected shutdown and what could it do to my harddisk and computer lifespan, I realized that mine was nothing compared to what was happening out there.

This is not my own home, but panic still crept in when I heard shouts and cries and when I rushed to see what the commotion was all about, I noticed that the main electricity box (power box) was in flames!
Yes, with dark smoke coming out of it and fire!

The aunty who was the one to discover it, reacted by pouring water over the box to put out the fire and after two tries, it was out, leaving behind a dark and black mess.

It was then that we were struck with the devastating realization that we had no hope of reviving the power in the house following the mess created. Now, before you shake your head in disapproval over the usage of water to put out fire on a power box, let me speak for the poor aunty (whom everyone seemed to blame).
There were flames and she was truly afraid it was going to spread like wildfire, and furthermore, when it involves electricity, it won't take THAT long to snap every single wire/cable in the house to set the whole place to flames (or ashes!)
Therefore, it is not totally illogical for her to help to put it out first.

Anyway, there we were, trying to beat the heat by taking deep breaths and immersing ourselves into deep thoughts, telling ourselves that it is cold, not hot...I was just kidding about that part.
Well, thankfully it rained a bit in the morning and the afternoon sun was not that bad, but still I was starting to feel dizzy as I had been unwell, and I just wanted to lie down on the bed.
We set to work to open all the windows and doors that can be opened without sending an invitation to potential robbers/thieves/burglars to allow proper air circulation around the house.

While waiting for the electrician to arrive and restore the power in the household, I lay down on the bed, thinking of all the things which kept me occupied most of the time, and guess what, they are ALL related to electricity!
See, I love to read and write, a LOT, and most of the time, I am at the computer to update my blogs (not Facebooking - I am not narcissist, okay!) and definitely powered by electricty...don't give me the crap about battery, they need to be recharged anyway!

I probably can get away reading a book (see, that's why I still prefer the conventional paperback books compared to e-books) in the day when there's sunlight, but that means it's gonna be hot, right?
I can choose to turn on the fan instead of the A/C, but isn't the fan also powered by electric current?
There goes another tick on the electricty list.

Then there's TV, or watching/listening to dramas or songs....sighs, another tick.
Drinking water, needs to be boiled..another tick (no way we can drink from the tap in the urbanized ares unless we want to die of severe contamination!)

Thank goodness I have charged my phone the day before...but then again, they have come up with solar chargers these days too :)

I used to think that it is worse to not have water supply compared to electricity, but guess I was wrong too; it is equally as bad.
We have been SPOILT (capital S) and overly dependent on the technology we have around us today, that we could not longer imagine life without them.

I mean, come on, didn't our ancestors used to have only oil lamps, no TV/Computer/cell phones? They didn't find it difficult to survive, but now, take away all the above from our lives and you will see zombies almost on the verge of suicide before the end of the day, willing to trade even their souls to the devil just to have their 'technology gadgets' back!

It was really agonizing, waiting for the electricity to be back on, and I then started to think of how electricity started, and how much do all of us really know about what has been 'powering' our lives these days, how has it evolved, or did we all just really take it for granted??

So, I did a bit of reading and researching, and I have found some facts, fun and even trivia on Electricity (yeah, I am making this sound like it's a lesson/class on Electricity 101!~)


1. Electricity is a result of moving tiny little positive and negative particles (atomic); known as electrons and protons (electron is the negative and proton is the positive)
As Wikipedia would put it, it is a phenomenon.

2. Before the big names of Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Edison in the field of electricity (they are not the founders by the way), electricity had already been noticed by the Egyptians (yup, them again!), who encountered the electric fish (a type of fish found in the Nile) emitting shocks. However, they referred to the fish as the protector, and also the 'Thunderer of Nile'
(Refer to Wikipedia for more information). The earliest discovery of electricity or lightning, well, can be traced and credited to the Arabs.
After that, that's where all the big names came in who conducted extensive researches; Thales of Miletos, William Gilbert, Otto von Guericke, Robert Boyle, Stephen Gray, C.F. du Fay, and yeah, our hero, Benjamin Franklin and his famous experiment with the lightning.

3. It was during the 18th century that there were published works, discovery and inventions which started to take place. (The age where most of us have to remember the following names, not to mention their formulas!)
Luigi Galvani (rings a bell?) discovered and published bioelectricity, Alessandro Volta with battery (no prize for associating his name with the word voltage), Hans Christian Ørsted and André-Marie Ampère, Michael Faraday, George Ohm, James Clerk Maxwell.

4. Thomas Edison came into the picture in the 19th century, along with Nikola Tesla, Thomas Edison, Ottó Bláthy, Ányos Jedlik, Sir Charles Parsons, Joseph Swan, George Westinghouse, Ernst Werner von Siemens(yeah, I know this guy too!), Alexander Graham Bell(who doesn't know him anyway?) and Lord Kelvin (no prize again for guessing his invention/formula!)
Source: Wikipedia (again!)

5. Electricity is produced by converting energy (from sources), at a power plant and then flow onto the Electric Power Grid

6. Benjamin Franklin did NOT discover electricity; he proved that lightning is a form of electrical energy.


7. Thomas Edison did NOT invent the first light bulb; BUT he invented one that lit for a few seconds and he continued to invent more than 2,000 products (switches, fuses, sockets, meters, etc).
OH, he owned the FIRST power plant, in 1882, in New York.

8. Electricity travels at the speed of light (> 186,000 m/s)! (no wonder everyone gets electrocuted when they touch each other and were roasted even faster than oven!)

9. Electricity always travels through the shortest/fastest path to the ground (and they don't even need to study Djikstra Algorithm).
In case you don't know, don't play/stand in an open field when there is lightning unless you wanna join Kenny Rogers as their latest mascot.

10. One single power plant can power up 180,000 homes, get that!
That also translates to that number of homes being in total failure when the plant breaks down, huh?

11. Electricity can be made from wind, water, animal faeces (yeah man), and also our beloved sun (that's where we get our solar energy and Vitamin D!)

12. A single lightning bolt which strike has enough electricity for 200,000 homes!
*Shudders* what can that do to a human being struck?

13. Electrocution, happens to be one of the top five causes of work deaths (why am I not surprised?)

14. An electric eel can produce up to 650 volts at one ampere!! (WOW!)

I think 14 facts and figures are more than enough to educate you on electricity, go read more if you'd like.
For some trivia, what's the vocabulary for electricity?
Words like switches, fuses, voltage, inductor, transformer, motors, resistors, transistors, etc..and NOT iPhone, LCD TV, Computer (not that they are wrong either:)

So, how much do you really know about electricity these days, besides that there is a new tariff for our electricity rates in Malaysia? :p
Go find out, and learn to appreciate what you have today...it's funny how we only realized the importance (or even existence) when we don't have it.

Another one for thought, with the high consumption of energy these days, we are running into lots of environmental, health and social issues (think Greenhouse effect and the melting of ice in the Arctics). It is not more of an issue on how much more energy we have left, but how much harm we are causing the planet Earth and OURSELVES (not to mention future generation).
So, THINK before you flick that switch on!

Have a great day! (with electricity)

*Images are from google and do not belong to me; they are only used for illustration purpose*

I have no idea what I ate....

Three days ago, I had sharp pains in my stomach after food and then it became more and more uncomfortable. I felt nauseous too, and though I did suspect it was food poisoning, I brushed it off as I don't think I took anything weird or out of home.
(I've been having homecooked meals most of the time and if I ate out, they are the usual joints I go to and I rarely have issues with them)

Given my history of stomach discomforts (yeah, my stomach can be such a prude and acts up most of the time), I thought that it was just another normal bout of sensitivity faced or just gastritis, and I took my usual antidote; the alkaline-based liquid to help soothe the stomach.

15ml of the mint-flavored and sometimes, super hard to swallow when your tongue feels bland, but it did provide momentary relief.

That was after the bouts of purging/diarrhoea started and I knew that it's time to go for medical consultation (I am usually good to see doctor when I am not well, but somehow I lost my confidence in the doctors around here after a while:p )

I was told to stay away from my white liquid above for a while as I am diagnosed with mild food poisoning and I am prescribed the following medicine for at least 3 days to clear the toxins in the body and to stop the purging (though I don't know how can the toxin be cleared without any discharge, but I guess it works atomically inside the body)


It's already the 2nd day of my medication, and honestly, I was already feeling better.
The thing is, I still don't know what I ate to cause this!
(I shall eat in even smaller bites/portions to help with better digestion, as the doctor advised too...so people, don't force me to eat too much :)

It's all about the Money, Money, Money...

If you have heard the recent "Price Tag" by Jessie J, you will find this particular line appearing in the lyrics. (alrighty, I admit that I did modify the line just one tiny whiny bit, to make it fit reality).

It's all about money, and there is always a price tag on everything; your life, your clothes, your relationships, your career, your dreams, your vacation...well, everything...like it or not, that's what life's all about.

I hate to think of it this way, and some may even think that I am just being plain unrealistic about life that it does not always revolve around money alone, and that sometimes we can truly find happiness in something else, but it could be denial in a way when the materialistic just shouts back at us with the harsh realities of survival.
It is really not easy to just think of a life without money, or with barely enough to survive.

Sure, we have all heard of those stories of baring it all, and go forth with our dreams and embark on our self-created adventure to truly enjoy the best of what life has to offer. It sounds great and I know it can be a reality too, but it's not truly an easy feat for everyone in the world, as the world is not revolving only around us and there are still our loved ones and many more to consider.

I know it may sound a little bitter, and I am not trying to pour cold water onto your dreams, not just yet, but there are a lot of things to consider before you take that plunge.

Being born an Asian taught me a lot about traditional values, and sometimes, give us that hard kick into the reality of the living world, or in other words, materialism.
I am sure most of you have been told the same thing since you were young, that we ought to study hard so that we don't end up as garbage collectors, janitors or even the MPPJ workers sweeping the road, etc. We were also being brainwashed to worship professions like doctors, lawyers, engineers and such (the white collars) that they are much better than the rest of the world.
We should grow up with a good degree, preferably with those approved degrees required to end up in the above professions and then land ourselves jobs in all of the above, or in big corporate companies.
It is then that the parents are happy with a large approval and proud of you, that you have paid off their hard work/efforts raising you all these years.
They would then go and brag to their siblings and whoever distant relatives during those major family gatherings about your successes and achievements.

On the contrary, if you did not meet any of the expected guidelines above, you will then be treated with scorn and nasty looks, and even labelled as useless or unfilial scumbags who are just being plain ungrateful and bring shame to the family.
It may sound horrifying to those liberal-minded, but that's how it's like with majority of the Asian households. In fact, even the relatives and friends play a role in creating this social stereotype.

To some, they will say it is for the glory or for a better future of their children, but honestly, can it run away from the big notion of M-O-N-E-Y?

I think you and I both know the answer, it is ALL about the money.
Face it, we do need money to survive, be it for food, for the shelter called home, and even for our basic necessities; bills, allowances for the children/parents, loan repayment, etc. In short, everyone had a reason to need money, and the basis for all these ends with one word: Survival.

Couples quarrel because of money, families break up because of money, vendors and clients fight because of money...money, money, money, everything is about it!
It seemed to be true that money is indeed the root to all evil, but is that all to it?

There was a point in life where I wondered, what happens if money does not exist in this world, will that make everyone happy?
The answer is, I don't think so either.
If money is no longer the magnet, then there would be no one working and overall, nobody would even bother about anything at all.

Everyone of us and also everything around us has a price tag on it; we are all measured by what we are wearing, how much we are earning, where we are living, what kind of car we are driving...and the list just goes on and on.
Heaven forbid if you were to mention that you are not working, or being a freelancer, you will just be greeted with frowns and looks of disapproval that makes you just wanna disappear under the ground.
Why, is the world so darn materialistic?

Are we not given the chance to be what we want sometimes, or do what we like to do, without worrying about the price tags on ourselves or towards others?
We cannot live our life the way we want, or choose the job we want, without being stereotyped or regarded as not being sensible.

I know of friends or even close family members who were pushed into doing something they dislike just because their parents or even the society liked it that way, and unable to handle the pressure, they just chose to avoid facing their own interests and succumbed to the worldly wishes.
It is great to have parents, family members and loved ones who are there to support you at all times, and I do admit that I am lucky enough to have that, although there are times, when I walk out of the house, and I feel that everyone is being judged all over again.

Today, our standards of living is no longer the same nor as affordable as they used to be previously; during our ancestor's days. Those days were the times when you could get a plate of noodles for only a few cents, and buying a house probably cost a hundred or a thousand (worst case), and they could afford to raise three to ten children (some could scrape through).
Fast forward to the present, and you found that your current salary is merely ridiculous to pay off the bills (even if you don't own a house and a car), support the family (i.e: elderly parents, or in-laws, children, dogs), food, transportation and medical, and that is if you have enough by the end of the month!
Even if you are not married, the salary is barely enough for one person to get by the day. There are some whom I know who do not need to support their families, and that they get the salary to their own, but how many of us could have that, especially those who are brought up in the conventional Chinese families (read the expectations above).

I am tired sometimes, of how money is ruling the world and how it determined our mood (happy or unhappy, which half of the time, causes people to be unhappy).
I want to be able to do something I WANT to do, without having my personal price tag being flipped over to be viewed or judged by the watchful eyes.
I am tired...really....and I wished that sometimes, we are all free of these monetary issues (I am not saying I have financial issues).

If I have a choice, I would choose not to let money rule my world, but can I, really???